Hello, hello everyone, I am Min'er, do a good job of not being busy and idle, live a wonderful life that is not salty and not light, and you and I walk together on the road of feelings...
Not long ago, another important person in my life suddenly left me forever. These days I have a very painful life, his voice and smile are all in my head, how can I get out of such a predicament?
Talk: Forsythia
(The characters in the story are pseudonyms)
Age: 49 years old
In the past ten years, I have experienced two deaths of relatives, both of which have caused me a major mental blow. The first blow occurred in 2014, when my brother suddenly had a high fever and began to think it was a cold, delayed treatment, and later learned that it was encephalitis. From the time my brother fell ill to his death, it was only a dozen days.
My brother and I have a very good relationship, and he has just turned 34, it is a good time of youth, so suddenly leaving, we can not accept this cruel reality, parents white haired people send black haired people, it is even more painful.
At that time, I had to appease my parents and suffer this pain silently, so my heart was always very depressed. In order to relieve the pressure in my heart, I often go to sing with my friends to temporarily forget the pain.
Once, an elder sister who knew each other brought her friends with her, it was a middle-aged man who was very handsome and stylish. I was just 41 years old, he was 16 years older than me, his surname was Ding, so I called him Big Brother Ding with everyone.
The number of meetings increased, and I slowly learned something about Brother Ding from my friend's words. It is said that he was in business when he was young, worked hard for many years, had a successful career, and his fixed assets exceeded 10 million yuan. It's just that in the past few years, I unfortunately got a cerebral thrombosis, walked a little slowly, and spoke not particularly clearly.
Brother Ding is a proud man and often invites everyone to eat and sing together. In my eyes, he is a somewhat tall and proud person, but not as brazen and vulgar as some upstarts, so I feel very impressed.
In the winter of 2015, Brother Ding invited a few of us to dinner and went to sing after eating. The older sister was very familiar with him and knew him very well. According to the elder sister, Brother Ding and his wife live in a villa alone, and only on weekends will Brother Ding go to the villa where his wife lives to stay, and the two people are usually in a state of separation, which has been around for many years.
I'm not a gossipy person, so I don't have a deep understanding of his family situation. The elder sister once sighed to us privately: "Old Ding, a person who has lived alone for so many years, has never done anything messy, which is not something that any man can do." The words revealed their appreciation for Lao Ding.
Once, when everyone was singing together, the eldest sister suddenly pointed at me and asked Brother Ding, "Do you like her?" Brother Ding's face turned red at the time, but he just smiled and didn't say anything.
I was startled and hurried to find a topic to diverge, and at the same time there was a little bit of joy in my heart, because I was an extremely ordinary woman, and I still had some pride in my heart to be so favored by a successful man.
But I'm a conservative woman at heart, knowing that once this sort of thing is punctured, it's hard to keep up with the situation it was before. I know that I will not do anything to be sorry for my lover, because my lover was particularly kind to me, and during the time when my brother was seriously ill, he paid and contributed, and he went to take care of it after work, and paid a lot. Although he is not good at words and cannot express, the feelings between us are very deep. In order to avoid embarrassing everyone from meeting again, I blocked the contact number of Brother Ding.
One day, I suddenly received a strange call from Lao Ding, who had borrowed a friend's mobile phone to call me. He said: "I have been living a lonely life for so many years, until I met you, I felt that my life had a head start again. Just pity me, just ignore me. ”
A man, to this point, I can't bear it. In fact, at first I didn't know why he had a crush on me, because I felt that I was a very ordinary woman.
Later he told me that at one point, a few of us went to sing. He suddenly felt that he could speak clearly and that his walking legs and feet were flexible. He felt that it was all because he knew me, and said that I was his lucky star and his spiritual pillar. In fact, when he said this, it had been two years since our first contact.
In the following years, every time Brother Ding asked me to eat and sing, I would take my female companion with me. After a while, he said, "You're a rock, I should have warmed you up too, right?" I said, "If you say that again, we won't even have friends to do it." He said, "Don't, don't, don't, don't say it later." ”
The time we met at that time was not fixed, sometimes we met every three or five days, and sometimes we could have a meal together for ten days and half a month. But we often chat in WeChat.
He often said, "Men don't have a good thing, including me." "So, he wouldn't let me connect with other men and said I was stupid, too simple, and easily fooled."
To tell you the truth, I've been touched by this person too, but that's about it. I know that I have a good feeling for him in my heart, but I have a bottom line, eating and singing, meeting can also be, but meeting alone is not. Every time he asked me to meet for dinner and sing, I took my female classmates or former female colleagues with me.
I often said to Brother Ding: "My lover is a very good person, it can be said that he is kind to my family, and I absolutely cannot do anything to be sorry for him." He said this more often than once, and once he said to me, "Let me invite you to dinner, and I'll see how good this man is, so that you care so much." ”
It was a day in the summer of 2017, he, me, my lover, and I found a female classmate of mine to accompany me, and the four of us ate together.
On that day, Brother Ding drank too much, and he said, "In the future, you will be my own sister, Xiao Wu (my lover) will be my brother, and you are all my relatives." ”
After that, we really got along like relatives. After my child was admitted to college, my lover and I often went to Brother Ding's house together. Brother Ding himself lives in a small two-story building with a large area in front of the building. The three of us farmed together during the day, cooked together, and after dinner in the evening, my lover and I went home.
In 2020, the epidemic was serious, and we did not go to Brother Ding's house for a long time. In March, my father died suddenly. This happened very suddenly, at noon, our whole family was still eating together, and in the afternoon my father was gone, just a few minutes later.
It can be said that I had just come out of the pain of losing my brother, and my father had left me again. I really felt like the sky was falling and my whole world was gray.
I even felt that I should not have had a crush on Brother Ding, that God must have punished me for taking my father's life.
After more than two difficult months of painful self-blame, my lover and I were invited to go to Brother Ding's house to farm. At a certain moment, I suddenly found out, how did Brother Ding look so much like my father? Same thick eyebrows, big eyes, high nose bridge, same faltering steps. Brother Ding was slow to walk because of the sequelae of cerebral thrombosis, while my father was slow to walk because he was older and had suffered trauma.
At that moment, I was heartbroken, my tears blurred, and I felt as if my father had returned. Later, my sister and brother-in-law also met Brother Ding, and indeed looked very much like our father.
Because my lover shifts and has time during the day, we go to Brother Ding's house almost every day. I also really treatEdu brother Ding like my father, sometimes I make something delicious at home and send it to him. My feelings for him became the kind of feelings my daughter had for her father.
It is also because of the epidemic that Brother Ding's good friend of many years has returned from abroad, and they are often together, not as clingy to us as before.
Later, he always went to play mahjong with his good friend. Later, Brother Ding's son got married, and my lover and I met his family once.
When chatting, he talked about things when he was young, saying that when he was young, he had a lot of hardships in business and made a lot of money.
He said nothing about his wife and children, and could feel that he and his family didn't seem so close. Later, his son also had children, maybe he didn't know his parents' kindness, he was much better for Brother Ding than before, and he also began to care about him. However, Brother Ding still lived on the small second floor of the building by himself.
Since Brother Ding's friends returned, Brother Ding began to play mahjong every day during the day. My lover and I advised him that playing mahjong was better than chess. He said it was not fun to play chess.
We bought him antihypertensive drugs, thousands of instructions, eat a tablet every morning, he ate three or four days and did not eat, said that the blood pressure is not high, do not have to eat. He always said that cerebral thrombosis could not kill people. But the urine is foamy, afraid of uremia.
We advised him to drink less and play mahjong with moderation, and he promised to be good on his lips, but he still smoked every day, played mahjong until ten o'clock in the evening, and drank when he ate. I hadn't slept in decades, before twelve o'clock.
For more than a year, I would wait for his WeChat every night until I saw it, otherwise I would be afraid. We don't actually talk about anything, we just ask, what we ate today, what we did during the day.
Before, when he had never met my lover, he always said, "Why am I so rare to you?" Later, after meeting my lover, he never said such a thing again.
Our relationship was like a family, he treated me as a sister and I thought of him as a father. I also told my lover, how can Brother Ding be so much like my father?
Brother Ding is not willing to cook, there is no regularity in eating, I even once thought that I could cook for him every day, as long as he is healthy and healthy.
In the past, he took the initiative to care about me, when my family was renovating the house, my lover was on a business trip, he would not let me go, he supervised, because those who decorated the house were men. I went out of town, and he was afraid that I would not be accustomed to the meals there, so he mailed me cooked food, which was more expensive than food. I said that sometimes my back hurts, and he took us to the hot spring, and he paid for all the expenses of five people.
Ever since I found out he resembled my father, I've always worried about his body. I said, no matter what you do during the day, send me a message at night to reassure me.
But sometimes he came home late and forgot, and I often couldn't sleep all night. I sometimes say angrily, we have been dating for seven or eight years, not relatives are better than relatives, I have not made any demands on you, just don't let me worry, is it so difficult? He also just said, be good, next time must be good, but next time he will forget.
This year, during the Spring Festival, on the first day of the Chinese New Year, I sent him WeChat to visit the New Year. He replied that we should be harmonious in the future, but don't make trouble, otherwise don't make trouble for a year.
A few days ago, we had WeChat contacts every day. For twelve days in the first twelve days of the ninth month, there was no movement. I was worried that I hadn't slept well and was angry. At three o'clock in the afternoon of the eleventh lunar calendar, he sent a WeChat message saying that he had only returned from playing mahjong at a friend's house, and I did not reply again.
At eight o'clock in the evening, he said again, is it in the end? I replied: I only came back from my mother's house. He said, oh, that's the way it is. I said, hmm. He replied, hmm. Nothing else.
At ten o'clock in the evening, I asked him again: Have you slept? There has been no response. I was angry because I was worried about him, and the more angry I got, the less I would initiate contact with him. I did the same to my dad, telling him to take his medication on time, and if he couldn't take it on time, I would get angry too.
The twelfth and thirteenth days of the lunar calendar happened to be Saturday and Sunday, and he still did not reply to my message, and I was even more angry and did not contact me again. On the morning of the fourteenth day of the lunar calendar, the familiar big sister called me to play mahjong? Also asked me to inform Brother Ding.
I said, he ignored me, or you should inform him. The eldest sister smiled and said, he ignores no one to pay attention to you, and hangs up the phone when he finishes. Who knows, just a few minutes later, the eldest sister called me again, and cried before she could speak. I hurriedly asked, what's wrong? What's wrong? The eldest sister cried silently, and Old Ding was gone.
It was really a thunderbolt on a sunny day, and I was momentarily confused. He was just 67 years old, so why did he just leave like this? The person who was most afraid of loneliness finally left this world alone.
Later, I heard that his son had called him a lot in those days and he didn't answer it, and then rushed to his house, only to find that his father had been dead for many days.
After Brother Ding died, I bought a flower basket for someone to send over. My lover didn't let me go, because he heard others say that Brother Ding died because of cerebral hemorrhage, and he couldn't see the original appearance, and he was afraid that I would be even more sad to see it.
This incident is actually not unexpected, he has been smoking, drinking, staying up late, playing mahjong, and sudden death is difficult to avoid. In fact, if you think about it, he has lived all these years, eating, drinking and having fun, living the days he wants, and there may be no regrets in life.
It's just that he left suddenly, and I couldn't accept it for a while. So many days have passed, and this person's voice and smile have been lingering in my mind, and whenever I think about it, I will burst into tears.
Everyone has one or two people in their lives who are extremely important to us, who come to accompany us through that journey and to teach us something. When they leave, we can be grateful for the care and love they have given us, and then say goodbye, complete this mourning process, and then continue to live well. Good times are always short, thank you for reading here, I hope the story between us will continue, Xiaobian is ready to listen here, is your story ready?