Is it really bad for children to rebel?
I don't think that children's rebellion is necessarily a bad thing, but we should be careful of children who are very obedient and sensible. Because the rebellious child shows that it has the power to be itself and insist on being itself, and the obedient and sensible child is just without himself, overwhelmed by external voices and dare not be himself, especially in adolescence or adulthood, making all kinds of amazing moves, some even can not bear self-abuse, suicide, jumping off the building abound, so that parents and people around them are surprised. Because usually he is a well-behaved child and a sensible child in our eyes.
Parents with big heads
Next, in order to explain this problem to you, let's take a look at the child's growth law and mental model.
From the time of birth to before the age of three (0-3 years), the child at this stage is not self-conscious, and usually the consciousness thinks that the mother and him are inseparable. I also think that my father and mother are super powerful and omnipotent, and they can help me achieve anything!
At the age of 3-6, the child's self-awareness at this stage has sprouted, and it begins to have "my" consciousness, which is my toy, this is my territory, etc., and "my first acquaintance" is also formed here, which is also the first rebellious period of the child's life. Usually children of this age, began to explore self-awareness, adhere to their own ideas, will not hear the words and suggestions of their fathers and mothers, then this shows that the child is relatively healthy and secure in his heart, his inner strength is growing, and he also has the strength to rebel with you. At this time, parents try to encourage their children as much as possible, suppress and suppress their children less, otherwise the problem children will start from here.
Happy, innocent children by nature
At the age of 6-9, this is the child's second rebellious period, and it is also the stage of the child's self-formation. For example, they consciously insist on choosing their favorite clothes, do not want their parents to interfere, and sometimes work against their parents to show their independent existence, which is a manifestation of self-expression, but food and clothing still depend on parents. The parents of the children in this period should do a good job of companionship and guidance, and then the child's puberty will also enter a good self-benign development, otherwise the parents will be forced to suppress at this stage, and there will be more serious problems in the next stage of youth.
The child's 12-18 years old is the child's adolescent rebellion period, this stage of the child's self-awareness began to gradually mature, began to slowly fall off the family and the outside world integration, their own action alone, there is also a certain ability to live independently, our children in this period will live in the classmates and partners do not go back. He has to fight for more space for himself, sometimes shutting himself in a room alone. If the parents in the first two stages effectively accompany and guide, tell the child the correct values and life guidelines, know what can be done and what cannot be done, and leave enough self-free space for the child, and chat with the child as a friend, then the child at this stage will treat you as his private friend, and everything is willing to open his heart to talk to you, then the child will not have any problems or rebellion.
The most important lesson for parents is to guide and educate their children
One case I saw online before was:
A 14-year-old boy in Luohe locked himself in his room for three days and three nights after arguing with his parents.
It wasn't until the firefighters came to remove the door that they found that the child was quietly reading in bed, which was really laughable.
Parents who cry and laugh
To accompany adolescent children, parents must avoid "hard and hard".
Parents can chat with their children regularly, avoid preaching with one mouth, listen carefully to their ideas, and jointly solve the problems encountered by children in life and learning.
We must cherish this last opportunity to accompany, because at this stage, the child's habits, personality, and three views will be basically fixed and affect the whole life.
Three views
In fact, each of our children has the potential to become an excellent person, but the different daily education of parents has given children a different life.
So understanding these, in the process of children's growth, we all have a sober and rational understanding, children to a certain age rebellion is normal, this is the law of nature, we do not need to worry too much. On the contrary, we adults want to better learn, to understand and truly understand our children, each child is a unique, sparkling gold.
There are no bear children or stupid children in this world, only parents who do not learn and are ignorant!