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A few days ago, 35-year-old Xiao Chen quit his job in Shanghai and returned to Gujiao, which is under the jurisdiction of Taiyuan, to look for his wife Yali, who has been missing for two years. Xiao Chen thought of Yali's mother's family in Gujiao, thinking that she had returned to her mother's house, but when she went to Gujiao to see, her father-in-law and mother-in-law's family had long moved away for many years and was empty. But Xiao Chen was not discouraged, these days he searched through this small county, and finally by chance, he saw Yali on the street, he did not fight grass and snakes, secretly followed her behind Yali, remembering her residence.
The next day, he wanted to go to the door to find Yali, but accidentally found a man and his wife in and out, Xiao Chen could not determine the identity of this man, nor did he dare to rush to determine that the man and his wife had any relationship, so he quietly came back and tossed and turned one night. In order to find out the truth of the matter, Xiao Chen contacted the emotional mediator of the radio station and asked the mediator to contact Yali for him, and after Yali received the mediator's call, she understood that her husband entrusted her to find her, so she agreed to meet and negotiate.
An hour later, Yali returned home with her two daughters, the eldest daughter held her infant sister, and after seeing Xiao Chen, she went straight back to her house, appearing cold and strange, obviously, the mother and daughter have been deliberately avoiding Xiao Chen for two years. After Xiao Chen saw Yali, he asked, "Haven't you been deliberately hiding from me in the past two years?" Yali said without anger, I am deliberately hiding from you, what's wrong? Xiao Chen also asked his wife who was the man who went in and out of this room with her, and Yali immediately took out the mobile phone surveillance video to show Xiao Chen to prove his innocence.
It turned out that the man was a distant relative of Yali, after Yali moved here, she didn't know which neighbor she had offended, the door was painted with paint, the wife couldn't clean it herself, just that day she specially called a relative to help her clean the door of the house, after cleaning up, the wife invited this relative to eat a meal, and she didn't want to be seen by Xiao Chen, who happened to be tracked. At the same time, Yali also said that the mediator did not understand the situation, that night, Xiao Chen reported to the police, the wife had no choice but to hide out again, that is, did not want her husband to suspect himself. After knowing the truth of the matter, Xiao Chen felt a little ashamed.
Two years ago, why did Yali, who was still in confinement, run away from home with her children? According to Yali, when she and her husband quarreled a few times, his husband unplugged all the wires in the house and did not let her use electricity. Yali had just given birth to her second daughter less than two months ago, was still confinement, and needed electricity and hot water everywhere, so when she saw her husband's behavior, she took the child away from home in a huff. Obviously, such a little thing leads to a couple making a fuss, and there must be hidden feelings behind it.
It turned out that Yali was married for the second time, and Xiao Chen was the first marriage, and when Yali married Xiao Chen, she also brought a daughter, that is, the eldest daughter who had a cold attitude after seeing Xiao Chen. In the days since the beginning of marriage, Xiao Chen and Yali have a good relationship, but the more they get to the end, the more Xiao Chen is wary of Yali, in Yali's words, it is to be wary of everywhere and calculate everywhere, so that you feel tired, and you don't know what the meaning of this life is. What makes Yali even more unbearable is that after the eldest daughter joined the work, Xiao Chen actually put forward a request for rent collection for her stepdaughter, charging 500 yuan per month according to the single room where she lived, because the eldest daughter's salary had not yet been paid at that time, so it was Yali who helped her daughter pay the rent.
The husband actually managed the stepdaughter brought by his wife to ask for rent, although Yali and her daughter finally made concessions, but this matter was like a fish in the throat, which made Yali and the eldest daughter feel very uncomfortable. The mediator was stunned when he heard it, and asked Xiao Chen, even if the eldest daughter is only a stepdaughter, it is still a family, and you actually manage the stepdaughter brought by your wife to collect the rent? Xiao Chen quickly defended that at that time, he had no income, and the economic pressure was great. Yali disdained her husband's explanation, after all, this kind of preoccupied thing is not once or twice, since she married into the Chen family, she feels that she is always looked down upon by her husband's family, for example, when she first got married, the in-laws did not give a bride price on the grounds that she was a second marriage.
Yali held her breath in her heart, but she thought about it, Xiao Chen was chosen by herself, the certificate was also received by herself, and the road she chose had to grit her teeth and go on, so in the end she did not ask for a bride price, nor did she hold a wedding, saving Xiao Chen a sum of money fiercely, and also came to work in the field with Xiao Chen, hoping to change the family situation with struggle. Unexpectedly, Xiao Chen was wary of Yali everywhere, especially on the issue of money, and he was even more calculating, wanting to cut some money out of her husband's hand, which was similar to begging.
Xiao Chen proposed the AA system, Yali did not say anything, she still had a little savings before working, but after she gave birth to her second child, she did not have income savings and quickly spent them, and it was normal for her husband to live, and guess how much Xiao Chen gave? 50 yuan. For the sake of money, Yali often quarrels with Xiao Chen, quarreling to the point of excitement, Yali always puts the word "divorce" on her lips, the result is even heavier Xiao Chen's defensiveness, Xiao Chen always feels that she wants to give Yali money, what should she do if she runs away with the money? So it will not give her money and let the relationship between the two fall into a vicious circle.
How can it be comfortable to marry into a family that is not honest with oneself, to marry a husband who cuts the door? Yali felt only two words in her heart: nest. After giving birth to her second daughter, Yali could no longer stand her husband's attitude, and after a quarrel, she moved out with her two daughters, and during the two years of moving out, Xiao Chen only gave her 1,000 yuan in living expenses once, and never gave her an extra dollar. You know, the little daughter that Yali took away is Xiao Chen's own flesh and blood, don't you need money? Even if the two divorce, the alimony during the two-year period is more than 1,000 yuan, right? Yali simply ignored her husband.
Hearing that Xiao Chen treated his wife and daughter in this way, the mediator could not see it, and criticized Xiao Chen on the spot: Yali did not look at whether you gave money or not, but wanted you to have an attitude, but your miserly attitude has already chilled her heart, which woman is willing to live with someone like you? Originally, since you entered a door, you still have to guard against your wife like a thief, this is not a marriage, but a palace fight. Xiao Chen thought about it and realized his mistake, he still cared about this marriage, otherwise he would not look for a wife, if he wanted to save the marriage, he must take a position.
Xiao Chen took out a salary card and bank card, directly into Yali's hands, as his "name", Yali did not want, but the tone was much softer, she said that first live like this, Xiao Chen wants to see the child at any time. While Xiao Chen went out to buy snacks for her daughter, the mediator also did Yali's job: Your first marriage failed, let the eldest daughter grow up in a single-parent family, and now you want the second daughter to grow up in a single-parent family? The mediator's words were realistic and hit Yali's weakness, and she said that she would not divorce first to see the aftermath.
Xiao Chen's marriage was temporarily saved, but the life is really not so lively, frugality can be, slamming the door is not OK, how much money is willing to pay for his wife, it represents a real attitude. It can be seen that Xiao Chen is a frugal person, frugality is conducive to running a family life, but home is a place to talk about feelings, once frugal to the point of miserliness, is there only money left to talk about life? How else?
Although Yali is married for the second time, but Xiao Chen marries Yali, equal to empty gloves white wolf, the money that should be spent should not be spent, basically did not spend, how many wives can save money for their husbands like this? Bride price Qian Yali did not want, the wedding money did not want, the living standard after the door was basically maintained at the level of not being hungry and not freezing, wanting to be a little extravagant could not be done, changing a woman early frying pan, but Yali still saved the money for Xiao Chen. Even in the two years since he ran away from home, the money for raising his daughter is basically from Yali, is Xiao Chen too worry-free? Marrying such a money-saving wife, Xiao Chen is actually not satisfied, and continues to be wary of the other party, does he really want to live a good life? I can't judge that such a day will certainly not be good. Yali is a second marriage, which should not be her identity to be wary of or discriminated against, and the basis of marriage is feelings, not the first marriage and the second marriage.
The reason why Xiao Chen and his family are wary of Yali everywhere is that she is married twice, in their family's concept, the people who are married for the second time are not pure, this concept itself is wrong, is the feeling of the first marriage must be solid? How can a second marriage really be reliable? Even Yali herself acquiesced to the Chen family's prejudice against the second marriage, otherwise why wouldn't she fight for the bride price for herself? Why give up the wedding ceremony? Second-married people have richer emotional experience than first-married people, there is no doubt, but this does not mean that second-married people do not pursue good love, otherwise where do people who have been hurt have the courage to start a family again?
In many people's minds, the second marriage is always associated with no feelings, and this prejudice invisibly degrades the meaning of the existence of the second marriage. When Yali married Xiao Chen, she was branded by prejudice as an original sin, so Xiao Chen dared to be unscrupulous against her, indicating that in his heart, he was also discriminating against Yali's identity as a second marriage. The second marriage and the first marriage are marriages, why did you choose Yali in the first place? This in itself is a contradiction.
The basis of marriage is feelings, money is only a glue, no money marriage hurts feelings, everywhere to talk about money marriage hurts feelings, if you want to maintain a good marriage, you must grasp this degree. Why do people get married? It can be said that for the sake of feelings, it can also be said that in order to live a life, a marriage without money will empty the soul, and a marriage without feelings is more like a walking dead, and both are indispensable.
Obviously, Xiao Chen did not understand this truth, he did not want to lose his wife, but also watched out for his wife everywhere, this kind of vigilance was too late, and finally lost his wife. Because he has always conveyed a wrong concept to Yali, his wife is not as important as money, and even only worth 50 yuan of living expenses.
When he manages his stepdaughter to collect 500 yuan per month for rent, he is stunned to turn the relationship between relatives into a relationship between landlord and tenant, and these bits and pieces of practical actions are betraying his true thoughts and hurting his wife's heart. Therefore, Yali finally ran away not out of Xiao Chen's fear of insincerity, but because Xiao Chen himself did something improper, and the insincerity of the heart is obviously himself, what reason is there to ask Yali to be sincere to himself? Sincerity is mutual, and how much you give is how much you get.
Yali did not completely close the door for Xiao Chen to go home, and if Xiao Chen wanted to maintain his marriage, he must change from the heart. Temporarily handing over the salary card and bank card, we can see the sincerity of Xiao Chen's change, but his change out of sincerity is still only a delaying tactic, which remains to be seen. I advise Xiao Chen that there is no turning back when opening the bow, and if you want to maintain the marriage, you can no longer be as stingy as before, after all, behind your miserliness is the vigilance of your wife. If your statement to your wife is just a delaying tactic, then there will really be no chance in the future, and when the time comes, the money you save cannot build a home, and you can only keep moldy.
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