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In the TV series "The Warring States Era of Mother-in-law and Daughter-in-Law", there is such a scene:
Daughter-in-law Li Lina cheated on Hu Xiaoqiang, and her mother-in-law asked her to divorce her son, bent on sweeping her out of the house. His son was not angry, and not only did he refuse to divorce, but he also planned to borrow money to buy a house in order to keep his wife.
Here we see the humility and helplessness of a man.
It is said that TV dramas come from life and are higher than life, and it turns out that this kind of man does not only exist in the TV series, there are many men in life who give up their dignity for love and are humble to the dust.
I remember watching a news story some time ago, where a man sought help from reporters and lawyers when he had nowhere to go.
His appeal is very simple, he wants his wife to change her mind, and if she must divorce, he does not agree to her sharing half of the property.
According to his description, his wife had cheated on him several times in marriage, each time being a different object, and he chose to forgive.
Originally thought that her humility could be exchanged for the return of her wife, but she did not expect that her wife had become more intense, and now she had filed for divorce from the man, no matter how hard the man tried to keep it, it would not help.
Many men are reluctant to let go in the face of their wives' betrayal, for the sake of their children, for the sake of this family, they prefer to be complete, they think that this can save their wives, but in fact, it is just wishful thinking.
A woman's betrayal begins with the "heart"
There is such a passage in the "Peony Pavilion": "Love does not know what to do, and it goes deep, the living can die, and the dead can live." Those who are born and cannot be with death, and those who die and cannot be resurrected, are not the most emotional. ”
Yuan Hao asked in "Touch the Fish. In the "Yanqiu Ci", it is also written a touching verse that "asks the world, what is love, and only teaches life and death to promise".
The ancients believed that the word love could be better than all in the world, because this kind of feeling had appeared, and they had seen it.
It's just that this kind of defiance for love usually only happens to women, because women are natural sensualists.
Women have the courage to sacrifice for love and the determination to keep the rules for love, while men tend to be different.
Mei Ruohong in "Plum Blossom Three Alleys of Water and Clouds" obviously likes Du Qianqian, but still has a close relationship with Wang Zixuan.
He later explained his mistake this way: "I was very touched. ”
Because he can violate the morality of the program and betray the love vows, it is obvious that the excuse he made is very lame.
But he really likes Du Qianqian, at least that's the way the book is for him.
It's just that while he loves Du Qianqian, it doesn't prevent him from being intimate with other women, and after the incident, he can continue to love Du Qianqian infinitely.
This may seem ridiculous, but it is very realistic.
This is the love of men, the love and desire of men are completely separate, they can be close to women who do not love, but this is difficult for women to do.
Zhen Huan once said something like this before Yongzheng's death: "It is not a secret, every contact with you since entering the palace has made me extremely disgusted." ”
The man who had made her happy and loved would one day become the object of her rejection and disgust.
These attitudes vary widely, but they depend on love or lack of love.
Women attach great importance to intimate relationships, and they abide by the fidelity of love, believing that this matter must be based on love.
Because of love, I feel happy; because I don't love, I feel disgusted.
Based on this, when a woman chooses to betray her husband, her betrayal is not only an act, but the heart is the first part to "run away".
Because of the different heart, you will fall in love with others, and because you fall in love with others, you will have an intimate relationship in the back.
The "heart" has gone away, how can people turn back
When Lu Xiaoman met Xu Zhimo, he was doomed that she and her husband Wang Geng would not come to the end.
Every time she spent time with Xu Zhimo, she felt comfortable and happy, and the handsome and talented man was Prince Charming to her.
In Xu Zhimo's heart, Lu Xiaoman is also a glorious image.
In this way, two people with families are slowly attracted to each other and fall in love.
Wang Geng loved Lu Xiaoman very much, and he also thought about saving it, but how could Lu Xiaoman, who was bent on being with Xu Zhimo, turn back?
Later, their love ended with breaking through the shackles and divorcing and reorganizing the family.
Although Xu Zhimo later died young and Lu Xiaoman was widowed in his early years, she never said the word regret.
Back then, absurdity was real, and love was true.
Women cheat, out of the heart, this is the most terrible place.
When she decides to fall in love with another man as a married woman, her heart no longer belongs to you.
She fell in love with the man, which is why she betrayed the family.
Her love can make her forget about family responsibilities, even etiquette and shame. She threw herself into it like a moth to a fire, so how could she turn back?
Women's betrayal of the family is often not a momentary confusion, but a well-thought-out.
Since she decided to go down this path, she never wanted to come back.
The sand that could not be held lifted lifted
Bill Gates once said: "Life is like a fire, and what each of us has to do is to rescue more things from the fire." ”
Rescue is a spirit, but it is also a dangerous act. You need to keep a clear head and face this matter with a selective mindset.
If you want to save your marriage, ask yourself two questions first.
The first question is, is it worth it?
Some things are worth salvaging, and some things are not as easy as burning them.
In order to save a failed marriage, you put yourself in the fire, baked by the fire, choked by the smoke, and in the end it is still easy to get nothing.
The suffering you suffer, the sins you suffer become worthless in an instant.
Those who pretend to sleep cannot wake up, and those who want to leave cannot stay.
The second question, if you refuse to let go, you won't lose?
There is a line in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: "When you clasp your hands, there is nothing in it; When you open your hands, the world is in your hands. ”
Sometimes holding your hand too tightly is not a good thing, it not only makes you tired, but it also leaves you with nothing.
When you open your hands, you feel relieved, and the feeling of walking on thin ice disappears.
Maybe you missed a small piece of your life, but from then on you have the whole world.
That being the case, it's better to choose to let go.
Don't do futile and useless work, don't bury yourself in the humble sand.
Letting go and becoming perfect is both perfecting others and perfecting oneself.
I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.