Text/Shadow
Figure/Source network
De Erfe once said, "The value of a thing lies in whether it is needed or not." ”
This principle applies not only to objects, but also to people.
Some people spend tens of millions of dowries to marry their beloved girl because he needs her, and she must; others are distressed because of the dowry of tens of thousands of dollars, and scold the woman's family for selling her daughter, because although he wants to marry a wife, he does not necessarily have to marry her.
So the two have different attitudes.
The former feels that everything is worth it because of need; the latter only wants to complete the task, so does not want to have too much to give.
He would make comparisons, envying men who could marry their wives without a bride price, so as to give a "gold worship" hat to the woman who wanted the bride price.
But once he meets a beloved woman, even if the other party does not mention it, he will do all the etiquette thoroughly, for fear of wronging her.
It is often said that contemporary men are so rejective of the bride price that when they mention the bride price, they are indignant, but this sentence is not correct.
A man's attitude toward the bride price depends largely on the woman across from him.
If it is love, why not spend a thousand dollars? If you don't love, a dime is the norm.
They are not rejecting the bride price, what they really reject is marrying a woman they don't love and paying the bride price.
Men pay and pay attention to value for money
In that year, Cai Wenji married the Xiongnu and lived a miserable life, but fortunately Cao Cao spent a lot of money to redeem her back to the Central Plains.
And the so-called heavy gold, that is, gold thousand two, white bi a pair.
This number was also appalling at the time.
The reason why Cao Cao was willing to spend a thousand dollars was because he felt that she was worth it.
Cai Wenji's father was Cao Cao's teacher, and the last thing he could let go of before his death was the daughter who married the Xiongnu, Cao Cao lamented that there was no successor to the teacher, so he spent a lot of money to redeem Cai Wenji.
Men are willing to spend money for women, even if they spend thousands of dollars, as long as he feels it is worth it, everything is out of the question.
As a woman, Du Shiniang was not so lucky, and the poor scholar Li Jia sold her to Sun Fu for 1,000 taels of silver, just to return to her hometown.
What he didn't expect was that Du Shiniang, who was single-mindedly willing to follow him, actually carried a treasure chest, and the money was enough for them to spend two lifetimes.
Frustrated, Du Shiniang took out a treasure chest to show to everyone during the transaction, and then threw it in the water, and jumped into the river herself.
Obviously, Li Jia did not love her, so he was willing to sell her to someone else.
He knew that his name was very humiliating, and he could only be looked up to a few times if he returned with money, and he chose face between face and Du Shiniang.
Men tend to behave in front of women who think they are not worthy, even if it costs a penny, it will make him sad, and they hate women to stick to them.
Li Jia was like this, not only did he not pay, but he also wanted to exchange Du Shiniang for money, and his heart was reprehensible.
A man's efforts are value-oriented, he feels that you are worth it, even if it is a thousand dollars; if he thinks you are not worth it, even if he spends 10 yuan for you, it is a waste.
The reality is harsh, but that's the reality.
People have no heights, but love has a length
Xu Zhimo had two wives in his life, the first wife was Zhang Youyi, who obeyed the orders of his parents and married home according to the words of the matchmaker, and the second wife was Lu Xiaoman, who let him love to death and live.
Xu Zhimo does not love Zhang Youyi because he pursues free love, and he only feels rejection of the traditional marriage of binding.
So he never gave Zhang Youyi a good look, and when she was pregnant, he also said very coldly: Fight it!
Zhang Youyi is a very virtuous woman, as a famous bridesmaid, and deeply influenced by traditional culture, she naturally knows how to serve her in-laws and take care of her husband.
But even if she didn't ask for anything, Xu Zhimo didn't give anything, she still didn't get his love.
Xu Zhimo's attitude towards Lu Xiaoman is diametrically opposite, knowing that she has a husband, but they still love passionately.
Later, he did not hesitate to betray and divorce her, and was insulted by the world to marry her.
After getting married, he traveled around to make money to meet Lu Xiaoman's high consumption, and finally stayed on the plane forever.
Compared with Lu Xiaoman, Zhang Youyi has their own strengths, the same famous family, the same is the same big girl, but they have a completely different personality.
From a man's point of view, Zhang Youyi, who is gentle and virtuous and knows how to run a family, and is good at making money in business, is the best candidate for his wife, but Xu Zhimo does not love her, he prefers Lu Xiaoman, a talented woman who is not virtuous and likes to spend money.
He was willing to give everything he wanted for her, even running all the way to making money.
Zhang Youyi and Lu Xiaoman have no distinction between high and low, they are both very outstanding women at that time, and it is Xu Zhimo's love that divides them differently.
A man is like this, as long as he loves you, no matter how much he pays for you, it is worth it; but if he doesn't love you, even if you are good, he thinks you are worthless.
The difference between loving and not loving is still very big.
Love or no love, "money" is the touchstone
Someone said, "Men who spend money for you don't necessarily love you, but men who aren't willing to spend money for you don't love you." ”
After careful consideration, everyone will find that there is indeed some truth in this statement.
Suddenly remembering the much-discussed news some time ago, a man submitted a financial liquidation form to his girlfriend when he broke up with his girlfriend, and wanted to get back all the money spent on his girlfriend over the years.
But he calculated that the total amount was only more than 1,000, and the most unexpected thing was that he actually converted the dumplings wrapped by his mother into money.
The girl went to his house for a meal, and he actually collected money, which was surprising.
Think again about the man who was willing to smash pots and sell iron in order to save his girlfriend with leukemia, and worked several jobs a day.
The contrast is immediate, and the difference is mainly between love and non-love.
Men's calculations are often only aimed at women he does not love, and once he meets the person he loves, even if he smashes the pot and sells iron, he is willing to eat it.
Men value money because they know it's the foundation of life.
Therefore, money is a measure of the size of a man's love.
Don't argue online all day about whether the bride price should be given or not, these arguments are meaningless, because it is not a dowry thing at all.
Excluding the sky-high bride price, the man who loves you will definitely give you the attitude that you should have, and he will think that this is what he should do.
A man who does not love you, even if the bride price of tens of thousands of dollars can kill his entire family, he will only accuse you of worshiping gold and saying that your parents sold their daughters.
Love or no love, you can see through at a glance.
Love in the heart, love in action, no need to argue.
I am Shadow, an original author who focuses on the field of emotion.