The Gu family is not a large family, but the previous generations are also readers, which can be called a small half of the book.
Mrs. Gu raised three children in her life, the eldest son Gu Shihai went to the countryside in his early years, went to Heilongjiang, and returned to Shanghai at half a hundred years; the second son, Gu Shihong, was once a middle school teacher, generous and kind; the younger daughter Gu Shilian once had a relatively generous life, but because of a serious illness and for her daughter to study abroad, she almost emptied the family foundation.
The second generation of the Gu family is the life of ordinary people, and it is not on the side of the rich, but it is not a downfall.
In the third generation, the Gu family once ushered in a short period of glory.
Gu Shihai's only son, Gu Xin, was intelligent and erudite, a good seedling from an early age, with excellent academic performance, entered a prestigious university, and was easily admitted to the civil service after graduation and married the daughter of the director.
Gu Shihong's pair of dragon and phoenix fetuses, Gu Lei married a beautiful and clever wife Feng Xiaoqin; Gu Qingyu earns millions of dollars a year and is a real high-class person.
Gu Shilian's daughter Gao Duoduo was sent abroad to study, and her future is also very good.
However, with the unexpected death of Gu Lei, the situation of the Gu family took a sharp turn for the worse, and then Gu Qingyu flashed away from marriage, Gu Xin was imprisoned, Gao Duoduo did not want to return to China, and the end of several juniors tore apart the unknown side of the Gu family.
Mrs. Gu, who has had a big ups and downs in her life, has experienced widowhood and grandson, her son Gu Shihong has become a widower, her daughter Gu Shilian has cancer, and a big chicken flies and dogs jump, but Mrs. Gu has lived to more than ninety years old with a good attitude and health.
Mrs. Gu's longevity secret book, before she died, taught to her daughter Gu Shilian, Mrs. Gu said:
"Your father has a heavy heart, and the problem is covered by himself." A little windy, he was nervous, worried that he would not be able to live. I told him, no matter what, life must be lived, China has hundreds of millions of people, don't people live the same life? Think too much and suffer yourself. ”
Character determines fate, relax your heart, less thinking, in order to be physically and mentally comfortable, live happily.
No matter what kind of changes her children and grandchildren encountered, Mrs. Gu was as stable as Mount Tai and was not moved. Thinking carefully about her actions, I realized that her attitude towards life was both wisdom and selfishness.
silent
Mrs. Gu has lived with her second son Gu Shihong for a long time, because Gu Shihong has the best temper.
After Feng Xiaoqin married Gu Lei, she became a housewife and waited for Gu Lei's family to eat and drink Lasa, and Gu Xiaoqin was not satisfied with this granddaughter-in-law, because Feng Xiaoqin was shrewd, and the stupid Gu Lei was not her opponent.
Feng Xiaoqin and Gu Lei have incompatible personalities, three days a small quarrel and five days of a big quarrel, the family did not stop at the time; but Feng Xiaoqin served Mrs. Gu with an eyebrow and a smile, because Feng Xiaoqin burned authentic Shanghainese cuisine in order to become a real Shanghainese, and the original work of "Heart Residence" wrote:
"Feng Xiaoqin has been in Shanghai for a long time, and a few small dishes such as grilled crucian carp with green onions, fried shrimp in oil, and sweet and sour ribs, have been very hot. Even Mrs. Gu's picky mouth (including taste and content of speech) pops up a few words of praise from time to time. ”
In Mrs. Gu's heart, she doesn't worry about how the life of her grandson and granddaughter-in-law becomes, her children and grandchildren have their own children and grandchildren' well-being, and she only cares about whether the daily meals are salty and light, whether it is in line with her appetite.
Gu Shihai and Su Wangdi, two sons, worried about buying a wedding house for their son Gu Xin, could not make up money, Gu Old Lady was silent, happily nibbling on chicken legs, she had savings, but she was unwilling to take it out, as if she was watching other people's affairs.
After her daughter Gu Shilian suffered from cancer, she collapsed and cried, and Mrs. Gu only gently patted her back and reassured: "Okay." ”
As soon as there was movement in the family, Mrs. Gu pretended to be behind her ears and ignored those bad things, and Mrs. Gu felt that whether it was interfering in the affairs between the husbands and wives of the juniors, or disciplining the grandchildren or even the heavy grandchildren, it was laborious and unflattering, and if it was not good, it was not a person inside and outside.
Mrs. Gu was confused in appearance, and her heart was like a mirror, she understood the temperament of everyone in the family, and only when she really couldn't look at it, she would use a sentence or two to point a little.
After Gu Lei's death, Feng Xiaoqin put her energy on her son Xiaohu and forced him to study hard, and Mrs. Gu saw that her grandson was tossed by Feng Xiaoqin at such a young age, and specially reminded Feng Xiaoqin, Feng Xiaoqin did not listen, and Mrs. Gu said:
"The little tiger's surname is Gu, and in the future, he will rely on him to pass on the generations." Gu Lei is gone, whether he is evil or soft, it is best to live well. ”
As soon as Mrs. Gu opened her mouth, she poked Feng Xiaoqin's sore spot. Feng Xiaoqin had no more reason to return the favor. It can be seen that Mrs. Gu is not concerned about the family, not that she is incompetent, but that she is not willing to take action at all.
Mrs. Gu was lying on the hospital bed, knowing that time was short and the limit was approaching, and she specially said to her daughter Gu Shilian:
"Tell Ah Hai that it is better to be a person, he is not happy, and the people next to him are uncomfortable to watch." Ah Hong don't want to learn from his father, a serious and comprehensive book, hard work, and no meaning. The three children have their own good, the fingers stick out and the length is short, the old woman is old, the brain is confused, there are places that cannot be done, you are more responsible. ”
Mrs. Gu actually saw the problems of the three children clearly, but she did not point out the children, she looked at Gu Shihai coldly, Gu Shihong was embarrassed when the old and good people were left and right, Gu Shilian was hard and soft, and suffered the most grievances.
Gu Shihai lost his Shanghai hukou because of the countryside in his early years, and also missed the demolition of his home, he was cynical and complained about it, and Mrs. Gu did not dismiss this eldest son, allowing Gu Shihai to complain.
Gu Shihai even pushed the responsibility of filial piety to his wife Su Wangdi, but Mrs. Gu said: "She is a hard worker." Mother and son enjoyed Su Wangdi's dedication with peace of mind.
Gu Shihai's negative emotions were passed on to his son Gu Xin, who eventually went astray and had a lot to do with Gu Shihai's attitude towards life.
Gu Shihong has a gentle nature, no temper, and often suffers losses because of this, watching his daughter-in-law Feng Xiaoqin bring his sister Feng Xixi into the Gu family, living for several years, relying on not leaving, Gu Shihong still regards Feng Xixi as a guest.
The better Gu Shihong is, the easier it is to be taken advantage of. His son Gu Lei was raised by him to be cowardly and unassertioned, and became a victim of family struggles, which Mrs. Gu could see.
Knowing that the children were caught in their own strange circles, Mrs. Gu chose to be silent, because the words were heavy, no one was willing to listen, and she still expected the children to give her a pension, not willing to provoke those unpleasant.
Until the end of her life, Mrs. Gu still did not dare to face the shortcomings of her two sons, but entrusted her daughter to convey it, and Gu Shilian was still used by Mrs. Gu until the end.
The lives of the children are not as important as Mrs. Gu's old age, and Mrs. Gu, who only seeks self-preservation, her selfishness and thin affection are doomed to the gu family's decline.
mud
After Gu Shihai went to the countryside that year, the old house of the Gu family was demolished and divided into two sets, one large and one small, gu Shihai because he did not have a Shanghai household registration, naturally had no connection with the house.
Gu Shihong took his old mother to live in the big set, Gu Shilian got the small set, Gu Shihai was unbalanced in his heart, and felt that the whole family was sorry for him.
Mrs. Gu had no tricks to win, she did nothing, but successfully resolved this family crisis, because she ate Gu Shilian's kindness, and sure enough, as Mrs. Gu expected, Gu Shilian was distressed that her eldest brother Gu Shihai was suffering, and took the initiative to transfer the house to her nephew Gu Xin, so that Gu Shihai also had a place to stay in Shanghai.
Gu Shilian gave the house to Gu Shihai out of affection, and even the neighbors advised Gu Shilian that he should not give such a valuable thing to him casually, but Mrs. Gu acquiesced to her daughter's approach.
Gu Shilian's efforts, but did not get Gu Shihai's gratitude, Gu Shihai moved into Gu Shilian's house, treating his family with no courtesy, the original book of "Heart Residence" wrote:
"Every time I came over, I sat down on the couch, watched TV and ate melon seeds, and the kitchen didn't help, it was really a guest." The eldest brother settled in Heilongjiang, suffered a lot, Mrs. Gu also greeted two small ones before, a family, can help, can be included in the inclusion. The Gu family brothers and sisters are all filial piety and unity. ”
Gu Shilian needed money for surgery after suffering from cancer, but Gu Shihai refused to take money to help his sister. Gu Shihai's desperate feelings disappointed Gu Shilian, she had grievances in her heart, Mrs. Gu did not accuse Gu Shihai of a bad word, and did not teach Gu Shihai to be grateful for her sister's efforts, until before her death, Mrs. Gu comforted Gu Shilian with her last words.
Mrs. Gu said, "Well, I know that you are not easy. The old mother's words made Gu Shilian have mixed feelings, and it turned out that she had paid so many years, and her mother knew it, but she watched her daughter suffer losses and suffer, except for the mud and mud, the paste, and did not do anything practical.
Gu Shilian said that Mrs. Gu was partial to her son, and Mrs. Gu said:
"Being a father and mother, it's that kind of year again, thinking that children can live on." One eats meat, one even if he nibbles on the bone, as long as he has a mouthful of food to eat, he can see it. If someone is hungry, it's different. At this time one child jumps out to do good, and half of the meat in the bowl is given to the other. Mom and Dad know it's unfair, but they can't help it, and they always want everyone to survive. There is food for everyone to eat. ”
"You have a grudge against me, and I know it. But you have spoken out, I stopped in front, Ah Hai will definitely complain to me, his person, usually silent, really launched a temper is scary. Your house was given to him, it was your sister's affection, and you were in a good condition at that time, even if you fell ill later, the bottom was placed there, and you would not be unable to go on.
Your wife is also a human being, and her energy is limited, I am afraid that you will not be able to get by, I am afraid that you will quarrel with each other, and I am afraid that you will quarrel with me. The older I get, the lazier I get, and if I'm forty, that's a different story. Your father is long gone, my labor insurance salary is not much, my heart is bottomless, I will rely on you in the future, you are too peaceful, I will be too peaceful. You know what? ”
In order to let her children have food to eat, Mrs. Gu had to "rob the rich and help the poor" with a fierce heart, and Gu Shilian's sacrifice was already doomed.
Gu Shilian has that kind of "dying disease", Mrs. Gu still firmly believes that her life will not go on, and Mrs. Gu's optimism is actually indifferent to her children.
Mrs. Gu will only mash up the paste and pretend to be deaf and dumb, because she is afraid of her children's conflicts, once the family is not harmonious, she will not get a peaceful life, she does not care what each child is like, only cares about whether a bowl of water can be level.
Mrs. Gu has saved a lot of savings over the years, and the money given by her children and grandchildren is her pension book, and she has not taken it out for a long time, leaving a way out for herself. Only when you have money can you have confidence, can you be welcomed by your children, and mrs. Gu is still sober when she is old.
Old Mrs. Gu was proud of her calculations and high life, and she said to Gu Shilian: "When I am gone, more than half of the banknotes will be left to you." ”
The eccentric and patriarchal Old Lady Gu, the reason why she was generous to her daughter once, was because she wanted to protect Gu Shihai, and this money was actually to offset the debt of Gu Shihai's occupation of the house.
Gu Shilian took the inheritance of the old mother, and it was doomed that she would no longer be embarrassed about Gu Shihai because of the house, and Mrs. Gu used a little money to change a house for her eldest son, which was really cost-effective than buying and selling.
Hidden trouble
In the original work of "Heart Residence", Gu Laotai, who has been widowed for 40 years and has a legacy passed on to women and not men, is a real cruel character, she uses selfishness to nourish her body and mind, and will enjoy her old age peacefully while the Gu family embarks on the road of decline.
At the time of her death, Mrs. Gu called out the nicknames of her two sons, but did not call her daughter, in her bones, she actually relied more on her two sons, but the mistake she made in the family was not just a preference for sons.
Why are the second generation of the Gu family mediocre?
It is because there is a mother like Mrs. Gu, the children at the bottom cannot be sharpened, it is normal for the five fingers to be different, but Mrs. Gu is bent on cutting the three children to the same neatness, and the rich will be allowed to squeeze the poor, only if the children eat meat, she does not have to make up for it, and she will not be poked in the spine.
Mrs. Gu's education model was learned by her second son, Gu Shihong.
Gu Shihong's sons and daughters, the qualifications are very different, Gu Qingyu is intelligent and talented, Gu Lei is stupid and incompetent, Gu Shihong thinks of not to urge his son to improve himself, but to let his daughter take care of his son.
Gu Shihong was an old and good man in the middle, doomed Gu Qingyu to become more and more powerful, and Gu Lei would become more and more unable to support the wall.
Gu Qingyu was only born a few hours earlier than Gu Lei, but he wanted to take over Gu Lei's life like an elder sister and meddle in Gu Lei's household affairs, and the contradiction between Gu Qingyu and Feng Xiaoqin came from this way.
Gu Shihai was emotionally negative because of the matter of going to the countryside, so Gu Laotai let the other two children tolerate him, and the whole family was affected by Gu Shihai's nature; Gu Shihai also treated Gu Xin in this way, not criticizing, not pointing, and not interfering.
It is precisely because Gu Shihai has not disciplined Gu Xin, after Gu Xin climbed to the daughter of the director, he wanted to be educated by his father-in-law's family, and there was a rough saying that was very correct: "You don't care about your children, society will manage it for you." "Gu Xin's imprisonment is Gu Shihai's current report, and it is also the fire planted by Old Lady Gu."
Seeing that Mrs. Gu was a hundred years old and looking back at her short-lived husband, I realized that there was another deep meaning. It is precisely because Mrs. Gu is indifferent to the family that her husband has to do everything and live very hard.
Mrs. Gu said, "Even if his kind of personality lasts for two more years until your eldest brother goes to Heilongjiang, he will not be able to sustain it." Things to do sooner or later. Sometimes reading a lot of books is not necessarily a good thing. ”
Gu Shilian said, "Dad did evil deeds, and it was not his turn to have a good day." This life has only suffered. ”
Old Lady Gu said, "Your father suffers losses in the wisdom of Thet, a stupid big sister like me, but a long life of a hundred years." ”
Gu Shilian said, "You are really smart, these people in the family, just count your paste and paste the best." You are making a fortune in a muffled voice. ”
In the original work of "Heart Residence", this dialogue between mother and daughter seems to be ridicule, but in fact, it hides a lot of information. Mrs. Gu did not know until her death that her husband had gone 40 years earlier than her, not at all because of his excessively worried personality, but because she did not take on her due responsibilities, and he was forced to be both a father and a mother, working hard, and having nowhere to complain.
At that time, the family was poor, the three children were waiting to be fed, and there was no next meal, and Mrs. Gu was optimistic about life, and did not worry about the chai rice oil and salt; the husband had to carefully plan for the eating and drinking of a large family, he was originally a reader, a high person, and had his pride, but he had to be low and four times to make a living, which was more painful than letting him starve and freeze.
Mrs. Gu knew that her husband was upset in his heart, but she did not dispatch him, but accused him of being sentimental and worried about the sky, and would make his life worse, and her husband was not understood and respected in marriage, and eventually ended up depressed.
Mrs. Gu mentioned her deceased husband, without the slightest guilt, but to take him as a negative teaching material, not to die early like him, to live openly, to learn selfishness, so as not to follow his old path.
This is the most tender place in Mrs. Gu's "last words".
Mrs. Gu called herself a "silly big sister", which is the calculation of the family, Gu Shilian has long seen through her essence, and will express his dissatisfaction with her in front of her mother's hospital bed.
After disguising herself as Mrs. Gu all her life, Gu Shilian mocked her for being "blessed", but as everyone knows, Mrs. Gu's blessings have consumed the good luck of three generations.
Write at the end
The writer Cai Chongda once wrote in his book: "Everyone who passes through our lives participates in us and ultimately constitutes us." ”
And the person who has the greatest influence on us is our mother. Closer, the future of each child is hidden in the three views of the mother, and farther away, a mother determines the fate of at least three generations.
A good mother should be open-minded and far-sighted, and her education of her children should have both the ability to live and take care of her family.
Mrs. Gu's practice of "tearing down the east wall to make up for the west wall" and only seeking her own comfort is doomed to the entire Gu family being dragged into the water, and the glory of the Gu family is fleeting, and it is no accident.