The daughter went to Tsinghua University, the son went to Peking University, and the parent's education method is simply amazing!

On the train to Beijing, my neighbor sat the father of two college students in his family, who proudly told me that his daughter went to Tsinghua university three years ago and his son went to Peking University this year.

I asked the peasant father, "You sent both of your children to prestigious universities. The peasant father's answer was unexpected, "I don't have any culture, in fact, I don't have any tricks - I just let the children teach me!" ”

The peasant father told me that when he was a child, his family was poor and did not read, naturally there was no culture to teach children, but he could not be fooled by children, so he came up with a method: every day when the children came home from school, he would let the children tell the school teachers what they said; the child did homework, he himself followed alongside to read the children's textbooks, and asked the children where they did not understand, and if the children could not understand, they asked the teacher the next day. In this way, the child is both a student and a "sir", and the momentum of learning is not much! Even if other people's children are playing outside, his children are not moved, so the children's academic performance climbs all the way from primary school to high school, until they are admitted to key universities...

Many parents must have wanted to say when they heard this: Where do I have that time? Working every day to earn money to support the family is too tired to die. I still have to listen to my children to give me lectures, where is the dignity of being a parent? Don't worry, let's take a look at the inspiration this story brings us.

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Inspiration 1: Let children turn over and "become" teachers and fall in love with "learning"

What is the purpose of having a child "become" a teacher? High scores, competing for places? NO！ Why? Because... Someone once used carrots and rabbits as a metaphor for children's learning.

Reaching out and placing the carrot in front of the rabbit, the rabbit kept running forward. For example, parents say to their children, "Why should you study hard?" Because only in this way can we enter key schools and have good jobs and good incomes in the future. This is only the primary realm of learning, that is, learning and competing with others for survival and interests, and the object of reference is social rules and others.

Better yet, without carrots, rabbits would run forward. Why? Because this rabbit loves to run! It feels that it has a lot of sense of accomplishment in running, and whether carrots or other external triggers exist or not, it will automatically and spontaneously run forward. This is the best way to learn. I learn because I can feel the joy of learning new knowledge!

Therefore, the ultimate goal of letting children "become" teachers is to make children truly love "learning" and focus learning on the sense of achievement of learning. If parents can achieve this goal, children will not pay special attention to comparing with others, but should only compare with themselves, learn more knowledge, and make progress on their own, of course, it is worth being happy. In this way, children can get great satisfaction and achievement from the knowledge they have gained. In doing so, you will cultivate rabbits who love to run.

Moreover, by cultivating the child's heartfelt enthusiasm for learning, the child can enjoy learning and exert his potential, and truly achieve the level of learning he deserves.

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Inspiration two: let the child bask in the sunshine of appreciation

By lecturing to the father, the child consolidates the main points of knowledge on the one hand, and gains confidence and motivation on the other hand, and gets a sense of being valued from the father. Appreciation is the true meaning of education and the need for children's mental health development.

When the famous opera singer Enrigo Carosso was 10 years old, his music teacher said, "You don't have five tones, you can't sing." Your song is like the wind blowing on the shutters. When she got home, Carosso was sad and cried to her mother. At that time, his mother affirmatively said: "Child, you actually have a lot of musical talent." Listen to it, you sang today much better than yesterday, and Mom believes you will become a great singer! Later, Carosso recalled his path to success: "It was my mother's words of affirmation that gave me today's results." ”

When a child achieves results, he is full of pride and confidence in his heart, and they especially need someone to share the happiness and share the success. Therefore, parents may wish to find the right time, create a situation, and properly appreciate their children.

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Inspiration 3: Enhance children's self-care and independence

Nowadays, many parents have the ability and put practical actions to help their children with homework, and after a long time, the children may encounter slightly difficult problems, so they directly ask their parents for help. In fact, sometimes it's not good to do so.

One mother wrote about this educational experience in her blog: "The process of educating children has touched me deeply and summed up some lessons. I was just too 'conscientious and responsible', and over time, the child used me as a crutch in his studies. For a while, when I first started studying, I called my mother, and I couldn't leave me. Now I will slowly let go of him, gradually let the child throw away his crutches, and enhance his self-care ability. ”

The parenting of peasant fathers implies similar themes. Due to the limitations of the father's own knowledge, he is unable to tutor his children in learning. On the surface, this is a bad thing, but why not a good thing from another angle? It is precisely because of the limitations of his father's knowledge that his children can only be independent of the influence of their parents, think independently on their own, and find ways to solve learning problems. Perhaps the child will spend more time and energy because of this, but it invisibly cultivates the child's self-care and independence ability.

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Inspiration Four: Listen to your child's voice and respond sincerely

There is no doubt that listening is a prerequisite for communication. I believe that every parent understands this truth, but perhaps you have overlooked some details, such as the behavior after listening. Let's hear a story first.

Li Yanfang (mother) has been busy for a day, and when she returns home, she still has to drag her tired body to cook, but her five-year-old daughter has a way of arithmetic problems that can't be done, so she comes to her mother for help. Li Yanfang was very annoyed in her heart, but suppressed the anger and said to her: "Sweet, my mother is busy dying now, I will do my homework later, I will forgive my mother!" As a result, her daughter went to see the cartoon, and Li Yanfang later forgot about it.

When she woke up the next morning, she found that her homework had not been finished... Parents often neglect to listen to their children's opinions because they "think the things that are important" in front of them, or in many cases do not have the patience to analyze and solve the extremely simple problems raised by their children. Moreover, many parents feel that this is a small matter, but for the growth of children, the attitude of parents in a specific period is likely to affect the child's future behavior patterns and habits of dealing with problems, and improper response will cause adverse consequences. Therefore, the meal can be done later, but listening to and absorbing the child's opinions, understanding the needs of the child, and helping the child develop good habits is crucial and cannot be taken lightly.

In addition, "body language" can not be ignored, American anthropologists concluded that of all the influence, language accounts for 7%, tone accounts for 23%, expression and body movements account for 35% each, which can be seen as its role as a communication tool.

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Inspiration 5: Put down the shelf and "talk well" to the child

Many parents lack the premise of equal communication with their children in the education process, and when they speak or do things, it is easy to unconsciously bring their own "high" tone. So the child returns from school "educated", but also has to continue to listen to the parents' "indoctrination education", do not know that the child hates the parents' education, so it is easy to "develop" into a rebellious child.

There is not a single parent who does not want to try to communicate with their children, but why is the results often unsatisfactory?

The answer is that parents are not really in a state of equal communication with their children.

Calm down and think about it, what kind of tone do you usually use to talk to your friends, and how you talk to your children, whether you are condescending, whether you shout at your children when you are angry, and gradually the volume of the shouting becomes the normal voice you speak?

Putting down the shelf and "talking nicely" with your child is sometimes more effective than a long talk, and it can make you communicate successfully with your child.

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