Psychological knowledge related to love

1, the Matthew effect in love: the more people who invest in it, the less likely they are to be cherished, and the more self-interested people are attractive, the higher the Matthew effect is manifested in love: the stronger the stronger, the weaker the weak. When you are willing to pay more for yourself and constantly improve yourself, your personal charm is enhanced, thereby improving your personal attractiveness; and when you blindly please each other, you will let the other party be pampered and proud, you continue to "depreciate" in the process of investment, but the other party continues to "add value" in the process of investment.

2, the "Murphy's Law" in love: the more you care about him, the easier it is to behave badly, you will find that when you care more about a person, your gain and loss will become heavier. The more you love him, the harder it is to control yourself and the easier it is to lead to performance diminishment. And when you hold a normal heart and play normally, your personal charm will be displayed to the fullest, and it is easier to get the favor of the other party.

It is not difficult to explain why "like is always fragmented, but playing is full of witty words".

3, intermittent reinforcement: the smartest "tame" method, let him always be addicted to you the first to discover this concept, is the psychologist Skinner. He did an experiment in which three cats were placed in three different devices, and the first cat gave cat food when it touched the button; the second cat randomly gave cat food even if the button was touched; and the third cat did not give cat food when it touched the button. Experiments found that the second cat touched the button the most frequently. In the relationship, this kind of "random reward" is also applicable: every time he asks you out, you have every request, and after a long time, he will naturally feel that it is not challenging to meet you, resulting in slackness; but every time you do not agree, he will feel that there is no room for it, it is easy to give up directly; only "random" promise will make the other party guess and touch, and every time he holds a foolish temptation to ask you out, the freshness will always exist, and he can't stop wanting you.

4, Romeo and Juliet effect: the more obstacles, the deeper the feelings When the emotional basis for each other is the same, the more external resistance, the deeper they love each other.

5, the first cause effect: the feeling of the first side, directly determines the overall impression of the other party on you, when the man and woman meet for the first time, the impression "aftermath" is the most profound. Carefully dressed, you will convey to the other party an impression of "she is a delicate person"; even if you don't dress up often in the future, this stereotype is difficult to wave in the other party's mind.

6, the recency effect: "peaceful breakup" is the last opportunity to establish a good impression on the other party With the long-term relationship between the two sides, the "proximate cause effect" replaces the "first cause effect" and the latecomers come first. The "recency effect" means that as multiple stimuli appear, our impression formation depends primarily on the latest stimulus. It is not difficult to explain why the "peaceful breakup" brings better memories to both parties; and the two people who tear their faces apart will grit their teeth in the future when they think of each other.

7, projection effect: why you always ask others to "understand you" projection effect refers to: a person is easy to impose their own characteristics on others, thinking that the other party also has the same feelings, will, characteristics as themselves. For example, you never refuse to treat others' overtures, so you will suspect that your lover is also "not active, not rejected, and not responsible" outside, so that according to your own conjecture, you will continue to look for clues to confirm your conjecture.

8, suspension bridge effect: "heartbeat" does not mean "like" Perhaps you often have such a feeling: a certain moment, in a certain scene, will suddenly be moved by a person who has no feelings in the usual days, so you think that you like each other, and then make countless behaviors to cater to your own assumptions. In fact, this is the typical "suspension bridge effect": the environmental scene at that time caused you to be physiologically nervous and your heart beat faster, so you would attribute this situation to the heart of the people around you.

9, the multi-look effect: the psychology of long-term love is based on the psychologist Charongtz did an experiment: he showed the participants photos of the opposite sex, based on the premise of 20, 10, and 1 time, respectively, and then asked the participants to evaluate their love for the people in the photos. Experimental results show that the photos with the most appearances have the highest popularity. That is, the number of views increases the degree of liking.

10, the uplifting effect: the right lover will make you better

The more Xiu is obsessed with the person you love, the more you want to be better for him. In response to Zhu Yin's words: If you see yourself getting better and better in the mirror, congratulations, you have found the right person.

11, reverse effect: the deeper the love, the deeper the hate, the more the person who pays in the relationship, the easier it is to "blacken" when it comes to parting ways; or in the process of pursuit, the other party's love is not successful, it is easy to turn against each other, from love to hate. This is called the "reverse transformation" of love.

12. The Guridge Effect: Why Do Human Beings Like the New and Hate the Old?

In psychology, the situation of human beings (especially men) seeing different thoughts is attributed to the "Gurig effect". This effect is reflected in many mammals, and humans, as higher mammals, also inevitably retain this trace.

Therefore, personal self-discipline and sense of responsibility are particularly important at this time.

13, the shooting effect: when quarrelling, why will it be noisier

The fiercer? As the name suggests, when you shoot the ball hard, the more pressure the sphere is subjected to, the higher it bounces. In the quarrel, you attack each other without stopping, so that the pressure on people becomes greater, and the greater the potential; on the contrary, if one party proposes to be calm in the middle, it is equivalent to him giving up the act of continuing to "shoot the ball" hard, and the result will be much better.

14, love compensation effect: people always pay attention to those first

A considerable part of the group of people who like themselves to "enjoy each other" is due to the "love compensation effect". Humans are always interested in people who have a crush on themselves. When a person shows a tendency to like you, as long as his own value is still passable, you will unconsciously look for the strengths of the other party, and unconsciously it is easy to like the other party.

15, Zeignick effect: what is not obtained is always in turmoil

"Wanting to get away with it" is a classic routine to attract the opposite sex, and the reason behind it may be known: what you don't get is always in turmoil.

At a psychological level, this is a memory effect:

It refers to the fact that people are more impressed by what has not yet been dealt with than what has been completed.