Tonight, the rain knocked on the window and drenched my thoughts, from heaven to earth, from you to me. I know that this letter cannot be sent to you, but I still want to write it to you, because I know that there is a sense of induction between father and daughter, whether life or death, the heart is always connected.
Dad left me eight years ago in the spring, and it was raining that night. Late at night, my brother called to say that Dad had a sudden heart attack in the hospital for rescue, and when I ran downstairs, my legs were so weak that I stepped on cotton, and I rushed to the hospital, but Dad closed his eyes forever. Father's love is a mountain, and at that moment, I lost my dependence, and my heart, in that moment, was in excruciating pain. Dad was in too much of a hurry, and I caressed your still warm face, I couldn't believe you were really away from me... Until now, when I hear the phone ringing suddenly ringing at night, my heart will "suddenly" jump, and this heartache has not been able to heal.
Every night, I look forward to going to sleep early and want to use a dream to see you. However, in eight years, you have not walked into my dreams many times, and I remember very clearly only a few times. In your dreams, you always look at me with a smile, and no matter what I say, you listen and never respond. I remember one time, I was in a hurry to shout, "Did you hear me?" "The loneliness of waking up made me wet my pillow with tears. I really want to hide in my dreams and not wake up, let you stay in my dreams for a while, even if it is a little while, let my daughter accompany you more familiar figures, and see your loving smile more
Dad, without your children and grandchildren, you must feel lonely, right? When you are lonely, you will go home and see, I know that you must be worried about your mother who has been with you for sixty years. Rest assured, Mom, everything is fine. After you left, my sister took her mother to her house and became her mother's all-weather personal bodyguard, taking good care of her mother. Every weekend, the children still go home as before, but the place is changed to the sister's house. Where your mother is, it is home, but there is less of you in the house.
Now every time I go back to see my mother, I still think of you a lot, especially when I see you for the last time. It was the Sunday before you left, and during dinner you gave me a dish across from my sister, and my sister jokingly said, "Dad, I'm biased towards your old girl." You gave your sister a dish with a trembling hand. When I looked up at you, I saw tears in your eyes. I ask you what's uncomfortable? You shake your head and don't speak. At the time, I thought you were having mood swings caused by illness (dad had high blood pressure, cerebral infarction), and I didn't think much about it. But when you left me, I could read your gaze. There is your reluctance to your children, and your concern for the old girl you love the most! That was the last thing we saw! Dad, the best scene of my life is the memory you have stored in my mind. When I was a child, my brother and sister often said that my father was partial to me. truly. At that time, the family conditions were not good, and my father's salary had to support a large family. In the early years, your father had stomach problems, and your mother always left fine grains for you to eat. There are many children in the family, and I can't share them, but no matter what I eat, my father always has to give them to me. When I was a child, I only knew that there were apples and pears in the fruit, and the others seemed to be rarely seen. When my father ate the apple, he always gave me half of it, and I said to my father, "I eat the skin, my father has a bad stomach, and he can't digest it." "Until now, my brothers and sisters used to joke about my eating apple peel. Dad is skillful. When I was a child, my hair was thick and thick, and my father always brushed my hair. In the morning, my mother had to work on a big family's breakfast, and she couldn't take care of me. Combing braids is a completely delicate job, when I first combed my hair, my father had a big hand, pulled my hair very painfully, I often shouted, and later, you were heavy. At first, Dad couldn't comb out any tricks, only braided a twist braid or tied two small brushes. Once my dad and I said, "Our class Xiaoyun's hair is very well combed!" Dad said, "You let her come to our house to play, I will learn." That day, my father wrapped my braids on the top of my head according to Xiao Yun's hairstyle, and tied my head with Ayako, and I ran out to the children to "show off" beautifully. Later, when I was in junior high school, short hair became popular, and my father cut my long hair with scissors, smiled and said, "When the girl is older, I will comb my hair later."
Dad did favor me, but you remember every child. I remember one year, before the founding of the People's Republic of China, all those who participated in the work increased their salaries, and the monthly nursing fee was more than 500 yuan. In the first month, when you get a paid back salary, you are about to invite your children to dinner at a restaurant. But at that time, the fourth brother was working outside, and you said that you would wait for the old son to come back. On the second day of the Chinese New Year, more than 20 children and grandchildren gathered together, and you fulfilled your wish. You were particularly happy that day, with kind eyes on every child's face...
In your last few years, your legs hurt a little, you can't walk too much, the children want to take you out on a trip, you say you can't walk, you want to take you to the hospital, you say: "It's okay, people old legs first old." "Since then, I have never taken you out of the house again, which has become an irreparable regret for my children's lives." In order not to let this regret happen to the mother, taking advantage of the fact that the mother's legs and feet are still good, the children often take her out for a walk. In the autumn of the year you left, the second brother, the second sister-in-law, and the sister took their mother to Beijing to play, and my mother was very happy, but she often thought of you, and after going out to play for more than two months, my mother said the most: "If your father is alive, you can also come here to see." "Last year, the second brother and the third brother took their mother to live in Beijing and Shandong for a while. In recent years, a few of us have driven my mother to go several times, where there are brothers and sisters who make my mother miss, as well as the old days of you and your mother. Mom always said when she saw the good scenery: "How nice it would be if your father lived!" ”
Aging parents may not say goodbye at any time, and the happiness of parents is the constant companionship of children. At the beginning of this year, the mother was hospitalized due to cerebral infarction, and the aunt in the same ward envied the mother's blessing and accompanied by children every day. On three nights, it was my turn to be on the night shift, and while taking care of my mother's living and eating, I looked at my mother, and I missed you. Dad, if you can let your daughter serve you at the hospital bed like a mother, your daughter will have a comfort in her heart! But you don't give your daughter a chance...
In recent years, I have often fallen into dreams in places where I lived between the ages of seven and seventeen. Not long ago, I made an appointment with three of my childhood friends to go there. It's changed so much there that I can't recognize it. When I was a child, I thought that the sky was high and wide, the road was lined with endless farmland, and now there were high-rise buildings in the field, and the bungalows where our family lived in the early years were demolished, only the old house of the unit you worked in was still standing in place, or the same as it was then, and a new building was built next to it. The small river that appeared countless times in the dream is also gone, but it is the paradise of our little friends, and after school, we often go there to catch fish and grass and tadpoles. The day I looked at the old house, the wind was so strong that I couldn't open my eyes. Yingfeng stood under the window that was imprinted in the depths of my childhood memories, the past was scratched by the wind, and I remembered the scene when you were on duty when I was on duty and delivered food at noon, when you saw me always pushing open the window and shouting at me: "Don't run, look at the fall!" "The sound is still there, the people are no longer there, looking at the old house, the breeze is speechless, I seem to understand why I asked my friends to come here."
Thoughts are like breathing, parting from themselves, not stopping. Long night, Dad, just ask you to give me more dreams, let me say to you in the dream: Dad, my daughter misses you!