The other day I saw a blogger share such a thing:
XiaoLin (pseudonym) when she was in college, there was a girlfriend named Xiao Ran (pseudonym), although Xiao Ran's family conditions were not good, but she was very backbone, she was very hard at school, she was a postdoctoral fellow in computer science, and later went overseas to work hard, and was ready to return to China for development some time ago.
It just so happened that some students organized a college reunion, and Xiao Lin and Xiao Ran both chose to sign up.
After many years of not seeing, Xiao Lin thought that it should be a scene of deep sisterly affection and harmony, but who became a bear child who wanted to return to the girlfriend's house caused "public anger".
Before the party started, there was a piano in the restaurant, so the children performed their talents, and Xiao Ran's children grabbed the fries in one hand and played the piano with the other, treating the waiter's reminder with a brutal attitude, yelling "You care about me"! After that, several children were reluctant to play, saying that "there is oil on the piano", and the picture was very embarrassing.
After the meal, Xiao Ran's children first circled the dishes one by one, tasted the dishes again, and then put a plate of fried hemp balls all onto their plates, while Xiao Ran just pretended not to see.
This child always brought his favorite dishes to himself during the meal, and a little girl couldn't look at it and said anxiously, "You take all the dishes to you, what do others eat?" And no upbringing"?
This time "fried the pot", Xiao Ran and the parents of the little girl, the two college classmates quarreled with the blushing neck, and finally the little girl's parents simply withdrew early.
After the party, Xiao Ran pulled Xiao Lin to cry and complained, saying that she had been divorced for several years, the child had been brought by her grandmother, and the two of them had a hard life, and they were bullied when they came out of the party.
Xiao Lin originally wanted to persuade her girlfriend to say a few words, but when she heard the other party say this, she was so angry that she couldn't speak, and she coped with a few words and turned around and went home.
Not long after, Xiao Ran went abroad again, and before getting on the plane, he sent a message: "Things are not human, and human feelings are weak!" Xiao Lin was so angry this time that she directly blacked out her former girlfriend.
Academic qualifications and parenting are two different things, and parents should distinguish clearly
Speaking of bear children, I believe that what comes to everyone's mind is the image of disobedience, uncultured, and always troublesome, and the reason why children will behave like this is ultimately due to parents.
"Little children, don't be general."
"The child is still young and doesn't understand things, you just have to put up with it."
In life, we can often hear some similar conversations, in the eyes of some parents, their children will not make mistakes, even if there are real mistakes, others should be more inclusive, after all, "he is just a child"
Just like Xiao Ran above, as a highly educated intellectual, her parenting of her children is really speechless, the children are naughty and troublesome at the party, causing disgust among the people, but in her opinion, it is her own "mother and wife have been bullied", the children are not educated and the old people "carry the pot", do not know that the child is a mirror of the parents, is her way of educating the baby is a big problem.
Colleague Xiao Li is the list of pro-dad, but his daughter is very well-behaved and sensible, although just went to kindergarten, but know that public occasions can not be loud noise, when eating to wait for the elders to move chopsticks and other basic etiquette, once the little girl with Xiao Li to participate in the company dinner, but also took the initiative to help the waiter clean up the garbage, was praised by everyone.
It can be seen that the key to whether the child is educated or not lies in the parents, even if the child is cared for by the elderly, the parents should not be absent in the child's education.
Especially now many highly educated young parents, themselves are full of superiority, often feel that their children are also superior, others should let him, but do not know that academic qualifications and parenting are two different things, do not say that they are postdocs, even if his children read postdocs in the future, can not prove that his children must be excellent, no parenting is ultimately uncultured.
How to avoid "uncultured" children?
1. Establish a sense of rules for your child
Cultivating good habits for children should start as early as possible, and building a sense of rules is no exception.
When children begin to contact public places and have certain cognitive abilities, we should pay attention to guiding them and let children understand basic social etiquette.
For example, when taking the baby to the supermarket, some children may be very curious about some things, taking advantage of the adults do not pay attention, the small hand forcefully cut open the package, at this time we can teach the child to understand the basic rules of supermarket shopping, let the child realize that there is no payment, things do not belong to themselves, for other people's items, can not be destroyed at will, take advantage of such an opportunity, and gradually guide the child to establish a sense of rules.
2. Teach by example
In the "New Language of the World", it is mentioned that Lady Xie taught her children and asked Taifu, "Then you must not see Junjiao'er at the beginning?" He replied, "I always teach myself." ”
It means that The wife of Taifu Xie'an asked him, "How come I have never seen you teach your children"? Xie An replied, "I often teach him in my own words and deeds."
Behind every bear child there is a bear parent, just like The "parenting method" of Taifu Xie'an, teaching the child with his own words and deeds is the best way of education, and the parents lead by example, and the child can naturally hear and have a good family upbringing.
3. Correct your child's mistakes in a timely manner
When some parents encounter children making mistakes, they will always try their best to shield their children and push their faults onto others, making it difficult for children to recognize their own mistakes and invisibly "bringing bad" to their children.
It is inevitable that children will make mistakes, parents should choose to correct them in time, rather than "protecting shortcomings", only by letting children realize their own mistakes can they "know their mistakes and change them", otherwise they will only go farther and farther on the road of bear children.
epilogue:
What is more terrifying than the "bear child" is the "bear parent" behind it, and what is more frightening is that the bear child is likely to become the "bear parent", and then evolve into the "bear family", which is passed down from generation to generation.
When we educate children, we must pay attention to leading by example, guide children to establish a sense of rules, and do not let the baby become a "bear child" that everyone hates.
Today's topic: Do you have similar bear children around you?