Yesterday evening, I took my baby to the small square downstairs to play, and met two five- or six-year-old boys learning roller skating together.
One child is a grandmother belt, one child is a father belt, and the two present two completely different painting styles.
This child brought by grandma, the one who was taken care of was called a meticulous, grandma helped to change shoes, and grandma helped to walk slowly.
After a while, the child fell, and the grandmother's cry immediately broke through the sky, "Oh, oh, I see, it's all right!" ”
The child was not how to do it originally, but when he heard the grandmother's words, he immediately looked aggrieved. Soon, he sat back on the stool with grandma's support and changed his roller skates.
What about this kid that Dad brought? Dad threw the roller skates on the ground and didn't care, the child took a long time to change into shoes, and then slowly walked on the stool little by little, and after a while, he began to slide into the distance.
After a while, he also fell, and Dad asked with concern, "Can I get up?" "Say it's a concern, but the ass has no intention of moving up, and then the child climbs up with both hands and feet and continues to slide."
Later, he fell a few more times, but his proficiency improved a lot to the naked eye.
I can't help but sigh with Dad C: Look, with children will be lazy, the more lazy, the more the children are out of breath.
C Dad is very interesting: you don't have to lay the mat, today I take the baby, you don't have to care about anything.
It's really not that I want to be lazy.
In the past few years, I have been in the parenting circle, and the most listened to sentence is: Raising children is really tired.
When we were born, we had to wait every day to eat and drink Lasa, and we thought, "It would be better to be bigger."
Finally stayed up until the age of three or four to send kindergarten, we had to change the law to play with, just think, go to primary school.
Finally sent to elementary school, we have to be hard to accompany the school...
When will I be able to relax a little? Maybe it's time for your kids to go to college.
But after graduating from college, it is very likely that you will have to bring grandchildren again.
In fact, this matter of sneaking around in a busy way cannot wait, and you can only grasp the moment and enjoy it.
Moreover, as long as it is good to be lazy and steal, the child can still do everything well and learn without trouble.
Parents will be lazy, and children will have the opportunity to fly higher than you!
A few days ago, a friend joked: "My child is particularly disobedient, I don't care how he doesn't listen, every day he is angry to death!" Can you ask Dad C about the problem of heart stents? ”
In fact, I talked about this problem in the video.
Let's look at it from another angle, are you satisfied with your own life?
Our life may be able to get sixty or seventy points, we have a lot of dissatisfaction, let the child listen to us, live in our way, then he will be sixty or seventy points at the highest.
An obedient child will never surpass his parents. Even if you have 90 points yourself, you can't delay your child's running 120?
If we compare our parents to a giant tree, our meaning is not to stop the child from growing up in his own shade, but to let him stand in our canopy and receive more and wider sunlight.
So, why should you fight with him, make sure to make him obedient!
The child does not want to go to the interest class, really is not interested, just give him a right to give up.
If a child wants to buy an Ultraman toy, you have to say "useless", but what are the criteria for usefulness?
If a child wants to keep an earthworm as a pet, and he takes care of himself, why should we intervene!
The child refuses to wear a coat, so it is useless to say that it is useless, so let him go outside and freeze for a circle! I know that the next sentence will be scolded, but isn't the big deal that I have one more cold experience in my life?
A 40-year-long survey by the American Psychological Association found that children who did not follow the rules and always disobeyed their parents' wishes as children as children often had very high incomes and academic qualifications as adults.
There is a proverb in the West that if you want your child to go farther than you and fly higher than you, don't always think of using your gardener's hands to modify the soul of God.
Every child is a masterpiece of God who has his own unique characteristics and will always find the way of life that best matches him.
We should not change him by our own standards, let alone interfere with his life and manipulate decisions.
Parents are lazy, and children have more room to grow
What happens to the three-inch-long tropical fish in the fish tank after two months when it is placed in a fountain of water? It can grow up to a foot long!
This is the law of the fish tank. The thoughtfulness and care of parents is like a fish tank, and it is difficult for children to grow into big fish in their parents' fish tank.
On the contrary, parents give their children enough free space for him to grow up quickly.
Recently, many children have taken online classes at home, and a new round of running and rummaging roads for parents has begun. Many parents have begun to wear several jobs: cook (three meals a day), nanny (eating and drinking Lasa), technical support (data download and printing, network debugging), service guarantee (serving tea and pouring water, prop preparation)...
My girlfriend complained to me:
"The children are in the third grade, and every night they have to help him check his homework, and every time he either forgets to write this or the other writes wrong.
Patiently point out his mistakes, and he still looks indifferent. Looking at him like that, I'm going to die of anger. ”
I gave her a piece of advice: Leave him alone?
Whatever he will do? I forgot to write my homework and was scolded by the teacher. Next time, will he forget?
Write wrong, get hit by the teacher with a big fork. He revised it himself, will he check it out next time?
A few days ago, I wrote an article about the boundary between parents and children, we don't want to cross borders, what the child does is to let the child do it himself, he is responsible, which will make the child learn to be conscious.
When parents should stand outside the boundaries, don't rush to find anger, and learn to be lazy. This principle also applies to:
● Wake up your child in the morning, he can't get up, let him be late once or twice.
● It's time to write homework, but the child has been procrastinating, so cancel his time to play downstairs.
● When it's time to eat at night, let him try to feel hungry, and let him feel the consequences.
We rush into the child's world, set a protective frame for him, and the child will never grow up.
It is better to let him accept the impact of the water on his own.
Parents lie flat, and children have high self-care ability
There is a saying in the old life: "Lazy mother raises a fast child", and I am deeply touched by this sentence.
But now many people are willing to take good care of their children.
I still remember the kindergarten director before CC shared with me that the children who are most likely to adapt to kindergarten have one ability, that is, the ability to take care of themselves!
In kindergarten, he can complete the things that the child needs to complete, after going to the toilet, he can lift his pants, wash his hands, get up from lunch break to dress himself; use the painting tools and put them back in place...
She feels that she can do anything, she doesn't hit a wall or pressure, she naturally doesn't resist kindergarten, and the teacher will like this kind of child.
When I got to elementary school, this matter was actually more important, that day I went to pick up CC, and I saw several children complaining that a classmate would not tie his shoelaces, "The shoelaces were opened, he has been throwing around like this, that is, not tying the shoelaces, their class because he is not standard, and he was deducted points." ”
The child's world is big and small, sometimes the self-care ability is poor, and some small things will lead to the inability to win respect among the small partners and the inability to build self-confidence.
At home, can you open your mouth and reach out and go out?
So some small things in life that can be done by children themselves. You don't want your child to call his mother after he is thirty or fifty years old.
The right distance makes the parent-child more harmonious
There is a "twenty-yard principle" in the Western educational concept, on the one hand, parents do not have to revolve around the child everywhere, but to stand twenty yards away, leaving enough space for the child, adults are happy and idle, and children can grow freely.
Parents, on the other hand, should keep an eye on their children and be ready to cut in, not run two hundred yards away.
We are lazy, not doing nothing, which will give children the illusion of "no one loves".
We are lazy, lazy to stalk, lazy to nag, never to ignore the child, and then fantasize that he can automatically spontaneously and self-consciously.
For example, in the matter of learning, children have no motivation to learn, there is a problem with learning methods, and we should shoot it.
Homework procrastination is not a time awareness is not established, we can help the child analyze the homework completion time, give him a timing reminder.
Explain and demonstrate the operation skills and precautions to the child to improve the success rate of the child.
The child tried and succeeded, and we came in time for a round of rainbow farts to encourage it. He is doing it, and we are not completely liberated?
Children of every age have what they can do, and the original intention of laziness is to return the management of the child's own affairs to the child.
Parents still have to perform the duties of supervision, reminder and help.
Grasp the scale, we are not the undertakers, nor the slave masters, we are the helpers, both to give the child enough space, but also to appear at any time when the child needs help.
You really don't have to worry too much, because you are not well managed, and your child will encounter difficulties because of this.
He really wouldn't! You're really worried.
My girlfriend dug her heart out with me a few days ago, she has been a particularly soft person since she was a child, especially thoughtful to care about the feelings of others, and as a result, her daughter has been particularly prickly since she was a child, has a big temper, and does not know how to understand people, let alone say anything to observe.
She always felt that this would not be liked by children, and as a result, children from kindergarten to primary school, there were no fewer friends.
The point of her epiphany is that the interpersonal harmony she has pursued for half a lifetime, avoiding conflict, striving to be a sociable person, and trying to show a good temper are all nonsense. In fact, there is no need to do this, and it will be liked by people.
Pet owners know that people who like cats are willing to be cat slaves precisely because of their arrogance; people who like dogs can become dog owners precisely because of their loyalty.
What kind of aura a child is, he can naturally attract people who match him.
The child's growth process is a process of self-doubt, self-confirmation, and then self-perception, and he needs to explore alone in the process of "what can I do", "what will be the consequences of doing this", and "what should I do".
The more self-aware, the more self-driven.
The freer you explore, the more you live out your personality.
Without such an experience, children will not be able to grow.