When we first entered the marriage hall with the person we chose, we never thought that one day we would divorce.
At that time, we were full of thoughts about going well with the people around us, and we must create a happy future exclusive to each other.
However, what the future things will look like, none of us know, we originally thought that each other will always be together, and we did not expect that one day we would become the most familiar strangers.
All parting is not sudden, the key to determining the success or failure of marriage lies in those devilish details, the so-called details determine success or failure, do not care about the details, marriage will not be so easy to get happiness.
Therefore, parting stays on the small things that we don't care about, and then accumulates over time, and gradually becomes a rift that can no longer be closed.
In a relationship between the sexes, how to judge whether a couple will divorce or not? 3 details to help you judge.
In the face of arguments, hysterical or calm
Quarrel is a process that must be experienced in many emotions, and only after running-in can feelings be stable and smooth.
Anyway, some people will quarrel, marriages are getting better and better, some people will not quarrel, marriages are getting worse and worse.
The fundamental reason is whether they understand that the essence of quarrel lies in "we" vs. "problem", not "me" vs. "you".
When we argue with each other and are always hysterical, when we always let emotions control ourselves in the face of contradictions, then we will say a lot of inappropriate things because we are controlled by emotions.
Shakespeare said, "The power of love is peace, never regardless of reason, convention, and honor and disgrace, it can make all fear, shock, and pain sweet when suffered." ”
Smart people always understand that in a relationship, winning or losing is not so important, what is important is how to deal with these barriers and avoid affecting each other's feelings.
When we can understand this truth, the factors that can lead to unhappiness in marriage will naturally not arise, and then we will be closer and closer to happiness.
After an argument, whether it is cold violence or patient communication
We feel that the reason why the feelings between husband and wife become disharmonious is because two people always quarrel, and if one day, two people will never quarrel again, then the relationship will naturally be stable as before.
Therefore, everyone feels that the feelings of husband and wife who do not quarrel will be long-lasting, in fact, the marriage of quarrel can still be saved, and the marriage that does not quarrel is the real terrible place.
Because quarrelling means that your heart is still worried about the other party, so the other party's every move will affect your emotions.
If you are too lazy to argue, it reflects from the side that the feelings between husband and wife have become numb.
About 69% of conflicts in a marriage are permanent.
Most of these conflicts cannot be resolved, whether it is a happy marriage or a broken marriage, because the two people in the marriage are essentially two independent individuals, and there are bound to be differences.
At this time, the quarrel is not a terrible thing, the key is how the two people deal with it after the quarrel.
If it is patient communication, then it shows that each other still want to cherish this relationship and want to deal with it well;
If it is cold violence, no one pays attention to anyone, and adopts the Cold War approach, then it means that marriage is insignificant for two people, and divorce is only a matter of time.
In the face of each other's imperfections, whether to dislike or choose to tolerate
When Lin Huiyin faded the aura of the goddess, he was also an ordinary person, grumpy, occasionally making unreasonable trouble, and would also be very narcissistic to ask Liang Sicheng if he looked good.
But even so, Liang Sicheng still spent a lifetime to fulfill the promise made when the two people entered the palace.
As a result, the feelings of the two of them will become a rare couple in the Republic of China era.
In real life, there is no absolutely perfect lover, and there is no absolutely heavenly person, and the person who originally felt like a god's mansion may become grumpy, sloppy, and untrimmed with time.
But this is the original appearance of love?
Time will slowly fade the filter that was once placed on the other person, and then let us see the person as it is, and it will also let us reveal our truest appearance.
If we feel that we can't accept all this truth, and feel that this person has become different from before, our hearts are full of disgust.
Then, naturally, our marriage will get bad under such negative emotions.
Murong Xi said: "Marriage is not only two people facing each other from now on, marriage should be two people holding hands and facing the world together." ”
The beautiful and the not beautiful can form a complete individual, and we love a person, in addition to accepting his (her) perfect side, but also to tolerate his (her) imperfect side. In this way, marriage can last.