Fu Seoul also can't get the adolescent child, don't be afraid, these 5 tricks can help you upgrade to a childcare expert

Recently, Fu Seoul said on a variety show that he also encountered parenting problems.

Here's the thing, it's her son's birthday, and the child sent a circle of friends to thank many good friends, but only to the parents without mentioning it.

Her first instinct when she found out was: Am I not worthy of thanks?

Fu Seoul, who thinks that she has a good parenting, is very hurt by this, but what makes her even more sad is that her son's circle of friends has blocked herself. The news of this birthday circle of friends was also what she learned from another friend.

Knowing this moment, she was very shocked and shocked, usually whether it was in the debate tournament or the parenting program, when it came to parenting methods, she was a set of parenting methods, and she did not expect that she also had a Time of Waterloo.

She could only silently ask herself: Am I not a good mother?

At this time, Zhang Wei on the side said: The child has entered the rebellious period, don't make a fuss, the rebellious period is like a cold, and it will pass quickly.

But is this really the case, many people think that adolescence is the time from junior high school to high school, gritting their teeth, surviving, and the child will naturally become mature, sensible, and become back to the well-behaved child you are familiar with.

But modern medicine has confirmed that the current child's puberty can begin as early as 9 years old, and late to 24 years old may not end, up to 15 years of time, do you really plan to survive? And do you think that even if you don't say, don't do, or communicate, your child will digest it on his own as he gets older?

The answer can be imagined, none of them, if you do not correctly deal with the various problems of adolescent and rebellious children, your parent-child relationship, children's academic performance, and even their personality, there may be a 180 ° change, so please give enough attention to adolescent children.

Every child enters puberty at exactly the same time, so how do we tell if they have entered?

A common phenomenon in adolescent children

1. Appearance anxiety

When you suddenly find that your child has become fond of dressing up, even for a pimple on his face, tossing in front of the mirror for more than an hour and not wanting to go out, you know that his puberty has arrived.

Children at this stage are prone to appearance anxiety, they care about their own clothing, dress, hairstyle, acne on the face, and even the style of school bags, accessories, and the shape of mobile phone cases.

2. Emotional

Adolescent children suddenly seem to have changed as a person, they will shut themselves in the room all day, do not want to talk to you, do not want to give you a good look, and do not want to be close to you.

If you say two words to him, maybe he will react very fiercely, will choose to argue with you, and may also slam the door and even run away from home.

You will be very upset about what happened to your once well-behaved child.

3. Love the Internet

They like to go online, browse all kinds of websites that you feel inexplicable, like some stars that you can't understand at all, they will hold their mobile phones all day long, they will not let go for a moment, if you want to forcibly confiscate his mobile phone or do not give him Internet access, he will react very fiercely, and even pay for his own money to go to the Internet café.

The above is a very common phenomenon of puberty, no matter which one is enough to make parents headaches, then what to do, in order to get along with adolescent children.

How to communicate with adolescent children

1. Describe things

Many children feel that their parents are annoyed, mainly because they feel that they are too wordy, things are repeated again and again, and finally at this stage, they can't stand it, and they will rebel against you.

One way we can change communication is to be concise, describe things, not wordy, and have clear instructions.

If you find that your child sleeps every night this week because he plays on the computer more than 12 o'clock, you can't just say to your child: play less computer. There is no point in saying this, saying that more children will feel annoyed by you, saying less you will think that children will not change.

We describe it based on the facts themselves, such as "you've been going to bed at more than 12 o'clock 4 nights this week, and 3 of them are late for school".

Only by simply quantifying things, the child knows the specific situation of the matter, which is much more effective than you nagging him every day to "how do you play the computer every night", and can also avoid a lot of critical emotions and reduce the probability of quarrels.

2. Express feelings

After describing the matter, we can express our own views and feelings about this matter, or use the child playing on the computer at night as an example, you can say to the child, "If this continues, I will worry that you will not have the energy in the morning class, which will affect your academic performance." "

3. Clear requirements

You can tell your child what you're asking, such as "I want you to sleep no later than 11 p.m." You can also set the alarm or remind your child once at 10:45 a.m. That's a lot more effective than if you nagged him from 11 to 12.

4. Encourage children

Adolescent rebellious children are often criticized by their parents, teachers or elders in life, but they also want to be encouraged and recognized by others.

So as long as you agree on something with your child, such as going to bed at 11 o'clock every night, although he can't meet this requirement 5 days a week, but after your communication, he will be able to meet your requirements for 3 days next week, and you will praise and encourage him.

"Last week you had 5 days to sleep more than 12 o'clock, this week you had 3 days to fall asleep before 11 o'clock, a lot of progress than last week, I feel very happy", in addition to you praise the child, you can also tell your partner or family about the progress of the child, although they will not seem to care, but in fact, their hearts to get you must be very happy, at least they will not easily conflict with you.

Of course, if the child has progress in other things, you can also change the pattern of praise and encouragement of the child, so that he will know that you have seen his progress and efforts.

5. Mutual consultation

When solving different problems, we can't be one-size-fits-all, but we all rely on your own ideas to ask the child, so that the child will feel, why I want to listen to you, why is it up to you, they don't want to be dominated by you.

At this time, we can negotiate with the child according to specific things, or just the example, if you suddenly let the child turn off the computer every night at 10 o'clock, go to bed, the probability that they will not agree, then we can negotiate with them a time that is acceptable to both parties, such as 11 o'clock, so that the goal set by the consultation, the child is more willing to comply.

Also let the child feel that you are the one who will respect his opinion, with this attitude of negotiation, many things can be handled more gently in the future, not just a word, everything is up to you.

Of course, there are many forms of expression and different ways of dealing with adolescence, not three words and two eyes can be said thoroughly, and the situation of adolescent boys and girls is not the same, if your children have some of the above situations that have not been mentioned above, it is recommended to go to see this set of books "The Secret Book of Adolescent Boys" and "The Private Book of Adolescent Girls".

It involves the physical, psychological, emotional, academic, dating, dreams and sexual topics of boys and girls in adolescence, which are all topics that children will encounter during adolescence, but do not know how to talk to their parents, do not know how to deal with and solve.

That set of books is to help you understand adolescent children, but also to help children know more about themselves, it can say a lot of things for many parents but are embarrassed to say, to solve a lot of children want to ask and embarrassed to ask questions, with it, the family can reduce a lot of contradictions and quarrels.

summary

Parents should no longer think that the problems of adolescent children can be passed by staying up, if they can't get the right education at this stage, then they may learn from some bad websites or fox friends, and the consequences will be unimaginable.

In order to make children pass through puberty more smoothly, parents must shoulder this responsibility, spend more time and patience to accompany and understand them, although the process will be very painful, but if not taught, the consequences will be more painful.