"My biggest impression of my childhood is that my parents often say: You have to fight for your parents a little, so that our family will not be looked down upon." 」
There is no madness with his friends, no ugly things that are embarrassing and embarrassing, only the little boy who struggles to write in the big room, Xiao Chen recalls that his childhood was so monotonous.
Xiao Chen was born in a backward village, and he was also the poorest family in the village, when other people lived in buildings, they still lived in dilapidated tile houses, and when other people's families drove cars, they only had a broken bicycle.
My parents had little culture, couldn't find any stable jobs, and had to make a living by collecting rags.
According to Xiao Chen's recollection, since she was a child, her mother has been pinching money to live, and she can't spend a penny wrongly, as for toys, she is already very happy to be able to get other people's children to play bad.
The more backward the place, the more despised the poor children
........
When Xiao Chen was a child, he could often hear others discuss himself and discuss his parents, the village was originally small, often quarreled because of the fields, in general, Xiao Chen's parents chose to swallow their anger, the village has a set of living rules in the village, no money, no power, just be careful.
In the face of such a life, Xiao Chen's parents have no choice but to pin their hopes on their children, thinking that when their children grow up, they will survive.
So once the family encounters any difficulties, they will say to Xiao Chen, "You have to fight for your parents, your parents have always been looked down upon".
It seems that as long as the children agree to fight for them, they still have the courage to fight against the world, and he has never told his parents that he was isolated and bullied by his classmates at school, and ridiculed as a son who was a rag and had no real friends.
For Xiao Chen, the only way out is to study well, and everything will be fine when he is admitted to college, and before going to college, Xiao Chen will go down with such a belief.
It wasn't until he went to college and saw the bigger world that Xiao Chen found that even if he survived the long first 18 years, the inferiority accumulated in those 18 years needed a lifetime to heal.
Yes, "you have to fight for your parents a little", this sentence makes Xiao Chen not have to take the road that his parents have walked, but when Xiao Chen re-examines his past life, he gets in addition to a paper admission letter that is left with the inferiority carved in his bones.
Do the children of poor families have to exchange this way for the opportunity to change their fate?
Can dignity only be measured in money?
Xiao Chen recalled that when he was a child, every New Year's Holiday, as long as he went to someone else's house as a guest, his mother would definitely repeatedly advise Xiao Chen not to talk nonsense and not to eat other people's things.
Rich people are not the same as us, the mother not only teaches Xiao Chen, the mother also does this, has not yet entered the door of the relative's house only promises, once the relative gave Xiao Chen a snack he likes, Xiao Chen ate particularly happy, after returning home was scolded by the mother, and then Xiao Chen no longer likes to go to the relative's house, even if he goes to sit there quietly, do not speak.
Xiao Chen is sometimes very envious, those children can have no sense of violation in front of adults, be happy, and even throw wild, and he can only be respectful, so that later Xiao Chen only faces the elders who are older than himself.
"If my mother had taken me to visit relatives, she would have not told me that we were inferior to others, and would have gone to play at relatives' houses normally, and perhaps I would not have unconsciously shown the inferiority state of my childhood whenever I saw someone richer than myself, and that kind of visit that degraded my dignity, so why bother?" Xiao Chen sighed.
Poor children don't deserve to be happy? "What are you going to play?" Their family is so rich, he can not study, can you? "Do you want to go out and work early?" Children who are not angry" These two sentences are whenever Xiao Chen wants to go out to play, the mother's response, can not leave the house, come back to study early, and once he breaks the rules, he will be scolded, and slowly Xiao Chen will no longer go out to play, but whenever there is a child about Xiao Chen to play, Xiao Chen has to make up some reasons to resign friends, of course, over time, the friends are gone, so Xiao Chen said that his childhood is a person, a big room.
So later, Xiao Chen did not know how to establish friendship with others, he envied the friendship of others, and he could never experience that feeling, even if he seemed to play well with his classmates, only Xiao Chen himself knew, it was pretend.
Most importantly, whenever he encounters something happy, Xiao Chen will only be happy for a moment, because the inferiority carved in his bones tells himself that he does not deserve to be so happy, and you still have a lot of things to do.
I want to be like everyone else, rebellious once.
"When I used to go to school, I was admitted to college with a heart, for my parents to be happy, for my parents to fight for my parents, and to make myself live a good life.
But when I went to college and finished my career, I didn't know who I was living for," Xiao Chen said. Xiao Chen has been very obedient since he was a child, and he has also been said by the elders to be very filial, but for Xiao Chen, who grew up, the most important thing he wants to do is to rebel for himself once, and he used to live for his parents.
But he didn't know what his meaning was, what he wanted to do, and when all his classmates had a plan, he knew that his filial piety had long since become an accessory to his parents, and he knew that his parents loved him very much, but this love made him more and more breathless.
There is a famous saying on the Internet that "happy people use childhood to heal a lifetime, and unfortunate people use a lifetime to heal childhood",
All parents want to have a sensible child, a child who fights for himself, but behind the understanding of the loss of themselves, no matter what class we live in, rich or not, do not let the sensible children to bear the inferiority of poverty, because it is good to be distressed.
Finally, the most terrible thing about poverty is not the lack of money, but the self-esteem that has been crushed from generation to generation.
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