Last winter, on the playground of a prestigious school in Beijing, a 4th grader suddenly collapsed while running.
It turned out that the temperature that day reached minus ten degrees, and the student actually took off his coat and wore only one underwear to run in order to achieve good results in the 50-meter race. As a result, during the race, the student suddenly had a cardiac arrest, and the tragedy occurred because no one around at the time had first aid measures.
Later, it was learned that the parents of this student were high intellectuals, and in order to cultivate their children, they did not hesitate to send them to a prestigious school, and they also asked for personal training for their children at home.
However, although parents have cultivated a child with good character and excellent learning, they have not taught their children the ability to live independently, so that children will not protect their bodies in extremely cold weather, and sacrifice their precious lives in vain.
In today's society, high-quality academic hegemons emerge in an endless stream, and many parents do not hesitate to use their whole family to create a good learning environment for their children in order for their children to go to a good university.
But everything is too late, too much concern about the child's academic performance, and ignore the cultivation of the child's independent ability, it is very undesirable.
Smart parents know that cultivating their children's independent ability is a favorable guarantee for children to face the cruel tests of society.
01 Don't do it, let the child do what they can
Today's families, there are more and more only children. Many parents treat their precious children with fear of melting in their mouths and afraid of falling in their hands.
Therefore, in some small things in life, parents can do it themselves and never let their children interfere, which leads to many children until they go to college, they are in a pampered state of "two hands without touching the spring water".
Parents also call it "I love my children, I am for the good of my children." ”
However, everything for the child, so that the child grows into a generation of giant babies, is it really for the child's good?
Not really. Every child longs for independence from the bone, they long to breathe the air of freedom, but the parents do not allow it, and they are deprived of the opportunity to grow independently.
Therefore, if you want to cultivate your child's ability to be independent, parents should learn to let go and let their children do what they can.
For example, when the child is young, you can let them learn to dress themselves, eat by themselves, go to the toilet by themselves, tie their own shoelaces, and pack their own things...
These are the habits that a child should have in elementary school, and children are also eager to learn, and from the little learning of life, they will feel the joy of doing their own work, which is beneficial to their hands-on ability and interpersonal skills.
When the child grows up, parents should give their children trust, do not take care of everything for the child, let the child do more things they can do, such as going to and from school, cooking by themselves, washing their own clothes, cleaning themselves, and so on.
Only in this way will children stimulate the dedication in their nature in this free-range mode, and do more for the family and for themselves.
And with a child who can be self-sufficient, why not enjoy it?
02 Do not interfere, let the child free time
In the circle of friends, many parents write homework for their children, which is simply heartbroken, under various threats and inducements, children always delay the homework until the last moment to complete it hastily.
The process of children writing homework not only pains parents, but also drives children crazy.
However, there are also many wise parents who know not to interfere with their children's freedom, and their children will naturally be more worry-free when doing homework.
A friend of mine, she has a lovely daughter who is now in the third grade of elementary school. Every time she comes home from school and eats, her friend will say to her daughter: Now there are 3 hours to go to bed at night, do your homework, watch TV, or play, you arrange it yourself!
And each time her daughter was overjoyed and excited to start planning her time, for example, watching TV for half an hour, then going downstairs to play for a while, and then going home to do her homework.
And every now and then, the friend is also happy to relax, compared with the parents of those laborious chicken babies, the status of the friend is simply falling into heaven!
It can be seen that each child has their own rhythm, and parents should not bother to arrange everything for their children, but should be a little bigger, give their children free space, and let them play independently.
Over time, children will learn the self-control and endurance needed to live independently, which is a very important quality for children's growth.
Smart parents understand that not interfering with their children's freedom is actually giving them a pair of wings that soar freely, and they will fly higher and farther under all kinds of storms.
03 Don't worry, let the child solve the problem by himself
When wandering around the community, you can always see groups of children playing and playing together, and there are always some parents who are not at ease with their children, closely following behind their children, afraid that their children will be bullied by other children.
What's more, some children are pushed by other children, and these parents immediately rush up, either taking their own children away or chattering.
As everyone knows, children and peers playing together, it is inevitable to fight for a while, and if every time at this time, parents are out for it, children in interpersonal communication, will appear more and more timid, over time, children every time they encounter problems, will decisively seek the help of their parents.
This is extremely detrimental to the growth of the child.
If a child wants to grow into an independent social person, the ability to solve problems independently is essential. Parents can protect their children for a while, but they can't protect their children for a lifetime.
Therefore, many times, when the child is playing, the parents only need to ensure his safety and silently be a spectator outside the field.
Even if the child is bullied by a child of the same age once or twice, it is not a big problem. Because under this lesson or two, the child will learn how to communicate better with people, how to better control the situation, and how to better put themselves in the initiative.
Gradually, children will learn the interpersonal processing skills and coordination skills needed for independent living in this state of not being overly worried by their parents. This is crucial for the future of the child.
Write at the end:
Montessori once said that whoever cannot be independent cannot speak of freedom.
Freedom is never a temporary pleasure on the material level, but a lasting peace of mind on the spiritual level.
A free person must be a happy person, and he must be a person with independent ability.
Therefore, raising a child who can be independent is the most precious gift that parents give to their children.