Marriage is the fruit of love, but married life is not always beautiful, and there will often be quarrels and contradictions. If you think about it, is that your marital status the same?
Some consultants have asked why they always quarrel with their husbands after marriage. I haven't had much quarrel before marriage, do you think that two people spend a lot less time together before marriage than after marriage? At that time, I was tired of being together every day, and I was reluctant to take the time to quarrel, unless I really couldn't help it. After marriage, two people live together, face to face every day, naturally the shortcomings of the other party will continue to be magnified, and you will find a lot of details that you usually do not notice. For example, you like to change a pair of socks a day, and he is used to changing a pair every two days, and for example, a toothbrush, you like to squeeze from the bottom, and he likes to squeeze toothpaste directly from the middle.
These are likely to be discovered after you get married, and these seemingly small problems, but if not handled properly, will also become a hidden danger in married life. One of my counselors, she and her husband are both very enterprising people, so they rarely cook at home. Once when they were shopping, my husband took a fancy to a set of utensils, suggested that our family tableware is too small, buy this set of tableware back, and then when friends come to the family, it can come in handy. But the girl is not happy, feel that there is enough tableware at home, do not often eat at home, there is no need to waste money to buy tableware, men have to give up.
After a while, some relatives and friends came to the house as guests, and the tableware at home was really not enough. At this time, the man complained, you didn't let me buy it at the beginning, now it's trouble, right? On that day, due to the presence of friends, the couple did not have an obvious quarrel, but since then, the frequency of the two people arguing has increased significantly. In order to avoid future contradictions, in the stage when the two begin to marry and live, we must pay attention to the handling of these small problems. Today I'm going to talk about a few small ways that are effective and applicable at all stages of marriage. Method one, marriage should learn to divide labor, there are scientific research to prove ah, husband and wife to bear the housework, for the quality of marriage is very effective. In the same way, everything in life can be used in this way, such as traveling together, daily gatherings, booking hotels, making routes, if this kind of thing is handed over to him, you just have to act as a road fool, you have to believe that he will take you to the destination. In reality, when men are a little unclear about the route, many women can't help but blame their husbands, and as a result, the road is not understood, and finally there is a big fight, although the first time they laughed.
Fast is nothing, but over time, when the quantitative change causes qualitative change, it is difficult to control, and the division of labor does not mean that it is not completely involved. If the other party really can't find the way and makes a request to you, it is not only your opinion that will be listened to, but also make the two people get along more harmoniously. Similarly, when encountering other problems, you can also solve the problem in this way, and learn to be lazy in marriage. Laziness is not necessarily a bad thing for daily emotional life, on the contrary, the wisdom of laziness can have a big role in emotional life. For example, if you ask him to wash his clothes, you don't ask him to dry his clothes to be neat, if he is cooking, you don't complain that he messed up the stove, trust me, if so.
At this time, you have to give him an appreciation, honey, you are awesome, he will take the initiative to do these things that you don't like better. Then the reverse is the same, if he asks you to do something, you have to do it yourself, let him steal lazy. So be sure to remember not to use your own criteria to demand the other side. If you think you clean better than the other person, he doesn't let the other person do it, and if the other person does, then don't blame him for not doing it well.
The third method is to learn to shut up in marriage. I have handled such a case before, the husband of the trainee will come home drunk because of work, she will often quarrel with her husband, he said that he also understands that his husband is really because of work. In order to earn money to support the family, but he just can't help complaining that her husband is often drunk and late, the college asked me what to do, I gave her such a suggestion, and then the husband was drunk and returned late, he drank a mouthful of water in his mouth, and sure enough, there was no quarrel, and his inner irritability slowly calmed down, but the ordinary water egg in the mouth could not speak, let alone quarrel. A few sweet tips after marriage to avoid various quarrels during marriage
So, in some cases, learning to shut up is to be a wise woman, and you must understand that when the other person is doing something, it is best not to disturb him, unless your matter is really urgent. In the final analysis, if you want the happiness and stability of your marriage, you must learn to communicate with each other with high emotional intelligence, and learn to communicate and communicate effectively, so as to avoid most of the problems in marriage.
Well, that's it for today!