Author | summer
Source | Boy Pie (boy666dj)
Anchor | Fan Deng Reading · Xia Han
Every time friends gather, as long as I talk about children, I am the most silent one.
Because, the children of friends are either articulate, quick-witted, sweet-mouthed;
Or memorize hundreds of ancient poems, and English words come with an open mouth;
Either the piano passed the 8th grade, the painting won the grand prize, and the math test scored full;
Or be praised by the teacher and learn everything quickly.
And I looked at my son, who was only bored to eat, but I couldn't find anything worth showing off from him.
I'm not a mom who doesn't care about her kids.
I also spent a lot of thought and time forcing my son to memorize ancient poems and learn English, but my son could not remember.
I also took my son to try a lot of interest classes, dance, piano, Go, painting, drum kits...
But he wasn't interested in any of this, and after a few lessons, he yelled that he was bored and didn't want to go.
In order to improve my son's math score, I gave him problems, accompanied him to do problems, and taught him over and over again.
But my son's brain is like a paste, and he doesn't know anything.
I was very upset, very anxious, and sometimes I couldn't help but scold him and be angry at how he was so stupid.
Until recently, I watched CCTV's opening year drama "The World of Man", and I suddenly found out:
It turned out that the stupid child had come to repay the favor.
The Zhou family in "The World of Man" has three children.
The eldest son, Zhou Bingyi, has been smart and studious since childhood, and has an opinion.
Whether it is going to school or being a soldier, he is the best in the crowd.
The second daughter, Zhou Rong, is beautiful and talented, and has been a bully from childhood to adulthood.
She has firm beliefs, dreams and pursuits in her heart.
The third son, Zhou Bingkun, did not have a bright mind when he was a child, and his grades were far inferior to those of his brother and sister.
Coupled with his thick and honest personality, his brothers and sisters all think that he is "very stupid".
Usually, we may all think that excellent brothers and sisters will be the future protection and dependence of the Zhou family's parents.
But the reality is:
The eldest son, Zhou Bingyi, and the second daughter, Zhou Rong, left their hometown very early in order to pursue the life they wanted.
Only Zhou Bingkun, who looked stupid, stayed with his parents.
Especially after the resumption of the college entrance examination, my brothers and sisters will have to enter Peking University.
At this time, my mother suddenly suffered a stroke and was paralyzed in bed.
In order not to worry his father who was outside to support the construction, and his brother and sister of Kao Peking University, Zhou Bingkun took care of his sister's daughter while taking care of his mother who was paralyzed in bed.
Later, my brother was transferred from a state-owned factory to a city, and then to a central government, with unlimited scenery, but it was difficult to have time to spend with his parents.
My sister has lived in France for more than 10 years from a university professor, and it is even more difficult to meet her parents.
Although the third brother, Zhou Bingkun, has always been a small worker and has never been able to fight for face for his parents, he is kind, benevolent, industrious and generous.
When Mom and Dad are in trouble, only he can saddle up and take good care of the horse before and after running.
In the absence of his older brother and sister, he never complained.
Taking care of Mom and Dad, he also never cried tired, never stole lazy.
He did not have great pursuits and ideals, and he only wanted to take good care of his parents, wife and children, and live a simple life better and better every day.
He used his kindness and kindness to complete the wonderful life of his brothers and sisters, supported the whole family, and gave his parents a stable and happy old age.
Seeing this, suddenly there was an irrepressible sadness, or a feeling of emotion.
Let my mind continue to replay the images of criticism and belittling of my son in the past, how uncomfortable should he be?
I thought about it for a long time, and gradually I let go of his ordinary and stupidity a lot:
Yes, children with good grades and excellent grades may go to big cities in the future, or go abroad to show their ambitions.
And children who don't get good grades and aren't good enough will stay with us, take care of us, and let us really enjoy the fun of parenthood.
During the Spring Festival, the elders of the family told me one thing, which made me very emotional.
The younger son of his cousin's family has been a bully since he was a child.
After graduating from university, he took a full scholarship to go to Canada to study for a master's degree and a doctorate. Since then, he has been working in Canada.
So far, he has been abroad for 11 years, but he has only returned twice, and each time he is in a hurry.
The year before, my cousin's aunt was diagnosed with uterine cancer.
My cousin called him several times, and he said he was busy at work and there was no way to come back. He then gave his cousin $30,000.
Before the Spring Festival this year, my cousin's mother's condition deteriorated and unfortunately passed away.
His cousin called him, but he was still too busy to come back to mourn.
Then, I gave my cousin $50,000.
When my cousin received the money, he not only did not get comfort, but he was even more upset.
He said bitterly to the elders of the family:
"In fact, it is not a good thing to raise children too well.
As the old saying goes, dragons are not willing to be in shallow water.
Children have come out, their wings are hardened, and they will most likely leave their parents behind and go out to pursue a broader stage.
We cannot stop them from pursuing their own development.
However, we want to see them can't see, there is a headache and brain fever, they can't count on it, and their hearts are not very bad. ”
I remembered a video I saw on the Internet not long ago.
An 80-year-old man living alone, because of his physical discomfort, took a short video to talk about his heart:
"I'm so lonely, alone.
My children are not with me.
I have worked hard all my life, worked on the education front all my life, more than 50 years of teaching experience, but I am now alone, so lonely.
I don't know how to get by, and I don't bother to cook three meals a day.
Because, at the age of 80, in the past, my family said that the food I made was the best.
And now, even I don't think it's delicious. ”
Image source | Short video screenshots, invasion and deletion
In fact, the old man in the video has two daughters, two sons, 8 grandchildren, and 7 great-grandchildren.
The sons and daughters are very filial, but in order to live, they work in the United States, Guangzhou, Zhuzhou, and Chaling County.
They have very little time to go home, even once a year or two.
When the old man is full of children and grandchildren, when she is unwell, there is no child around her who can always accompany her and take care of her.
Although the old man is very considerate of the child and wants to open up, the loneliness in her expression and tone makes people can't help but cry.
The true feeling of the elderly living alone has touched many people, and at the same time, many people have recognized a reality:
Excellent children, let parents be proud. But the better they are, the farther away they are from their parents.
My mother was particularly envious of her neighbors back home.
His family has a son and a daughter, and the daughter has good grades since she was a child, and was admitted to a university in Beijing, and stayed in Beijing as soon as she graduated.
My son did not love to learn since he was a child, and he reluctantly went to three books.
After graduation, the family entrusted him to find a job as a warehouse manager in the local area.
I originally thought that my mother was envious of my neighbors who had a "well-behaved" daughter.
What I didn't expect was that my mother was most envious of the fact that the neighbors in my hometown had a son who was "not out of the woods".
My mom said:
"Although the son of the neighbor in his hometown is not studying well, he has no big success or big pursuit.
But he took his wife and children home with him and greeted his parents with him.
On weekends and holidays, I take the whole family out to the park, eat a meal, or take a short trip.
No matter what happens to his parents, even if the phone card is not found, as long as a phone call, he can immediately go home and help his parents solve it.
His parents were sick and hospitalized, and he did not wear clothes and took the bed with him for more than half a month.
His thoughtful care and care for his parents makes people really feel:
It's nice to have a child who can be with you at any time, so happy, really down-to-earth. ”
I remember someone saying that every child comes with his mission.
Children who have a career will go to their faraway places for greater ambitions.
Children who are not out of the ordinary can always accompany you and bring you ordinary happiness.
A few years ago, there was an article on the Internet that touched countless parents - "My scum son, my mother believes that you are here to repay the favor".
The son of the author Fan Xiaoxi has poor grades.
Fan Xiaoxi was very anxious and did his best to contribute money and help his son to tutor his homework, but his son's grades were always at the tail of the crane.
What is even more helpless is that Fan Xiaoxi gives his son more study every day.
The child stays up too late, the pressure is too great, the immunity is reduced, and the fever and cold are two heads for three days.
Only in the fourth grade, I wore glasses, and the whole person did not look like a little lively and energetic as a teenager.
At this time, Fan Xiaoxi had to let go of his anxiety and admit that his son was indeed of average qualifications.
At the same time, he also began to rethink the meaning of learning and re-look at his son.
Finally found that there were too many shining points in her son that she had ignored: his son was industrious, sensible, kind, and knew how to filial piety to his parents.
I had a cervical spondylosis and a terrible headache, and my son would say:
"Mom, you go to rest, don't accompany me to study, I can write my homework myself."
I fell asleep groggy, and my son would quietly come up to me and cover me with a quilt.
My son loves cooking, has read all the cooking books I bought, and at the age of 10, he can already cook several decent meals.
The son is kind and helpful, when he enters the door of the building, he sees someone behind him, and he will always hold the door with his small hand and wait for the people behind him to come in.
Among his classmates, no matter who encountered difficulties, he was the first to stand up and help.
Remember that Zhou Guoping once said:
"Everything in the world is extraordinary, and in the end it must return to the ordinary, and its value must be measured by ordinary life."
Great, wonderful, successful is nothing, only the ordinary life is really good, life is complete. ”
We all want our children to get ahead and make a difference.
But we must see a cruel truth: 99% of children will eventually go to the ordinary.
We cannot measure the good and bad of children by a single standard, nor should we despise the ordinary.
Instead, we should embrace our child's imperfections and accept their children's ordinariness.
In the future, our children may not be the best among the people, and they may not be the social elite.
But as long as they are good-natured, do not violate their conscience and principles, and walk every step of life in a healthy, happy, and down-to-earth manner, in fact, it is a successful life.
Thinking about my own son at this moment, the corners of my mouth unconsciously raised a smile.
Yes, although my son does not like to talk, he always expresses his concern and love for me directly with actions.
Although his son did not have good grades, he never gave up his efforts.
My son doesn't like to memorize poetry and doesn't like math, but he likes sports and does housework.
He has a pure heart, never bullies others casually, knows how to be polite and loving.
I believe that when he grows up, he will become a down-to-earth person, a careful and considerate husband, a responsible and loving father, and a filial piety who is willing to accompany us and patiently take care of our filial piety.
Isn't that the greatest happiness for us as parents?
If your child is born outstanding, be a great parent and let him fly high.
But if your child is always unremarkable, please calm down.
Hug the seemingly stupid, not very contentious child next to you!
Maybe in the future, we will all have to thank him.
Click "Watching" and hope that more families will raise filial piety children.
Typography | Zheng to the north
Image | Some of the pictures in this article come from the stills of "The World of Man", which was invaded and deleted
Music | "E8r Piano Song" on the shores of Lake Baikal