Text/Little Snow Mom
Some people say that the child's personality is innate, and some people say that the child's personality can be changed the day after tomorrow, but in my opinion, the innate knowledge accounts for a part, and the acquired family environment also accounts for a large part of the reasons.
Just like my sister's daughter, who grew up educated by my father and my mother, my niece at home was very obedient, playing with her mobile phone for an hour, and my father would educate when he saw it: "Put down the mobile phone, rest for an hour!" ”
For Grandpa's order, the niece did not say a word on the mobile phone on the table, she was ready to turn on the TV to watch, Grandpa took the remote control down again, I thought about the New Year to let the child play casually, but did not expect the niece obediently ran to the kitchen to watch Grandma cook.
My father was very satisfied with this, saying that he had cultivated the rules of his children since he was a child, and he was very obedient when he should be obedient, and he never talked back to you, unlike your cousin's daughter, who did not worry at all.
Speaking of the cousin's daughter, it is really a headache of existence, saying a "wild girl" is not too much, the New Year to go to the cousin's house to go to relatives, adults play mahjong together, cousin daughter has been playing mobile phones, cousins shouted daughters put down the mobile phone to rest the eyes.
I didn't expect my cousin's daughter to be unmoved, and even in front of so many people, she said: The big New Year's Happy You play cards, don't like me to play mobile phones, we play each other without disturbing each other, and grandparents said that they would let go of the holidays.
After listening to the words of the cousin's daughter, we all laughed together, but the cousin was very upset about it, and even said that the child did not know what was wrong, said that he was used to talking back, and felt that if it went on like this, the education would not move, and the family did not have her to say.
Children who do not talk back after being yelled at are usually divided into two personality reactions
First, the parent's temper suppresses the child's personality
Some parents have a more irritable personality, can not see the child restless, often yell at the child, for a long time so that the child naturally does not dare to resist, but this also caused the child's personality cowardice, lack of self-confidence, no own opinion.
Just like I have a colleague's brother, from childhood by his father beat a lot, when going to school will also often be bullied by classmates, every time the clothes are dirty home, parents not only do not comfort, but scold the child is not angry a little bit like a man, beaten and do not know how to beat back, go out to lose the face of parents.
The bullying of the school coupled with the lack of love of his parents, and the brother's extreme insecurity in his heart, finally chose to run away from home and run out to work, but in the end he was chased back by his family.
From this experience, we can see that part of the child's personality is affected by innate factors, but the impact of the family environment is also very large, parents must often reflect on themselves, treat the child in a proper way, to avoid destroying the child's character development.
Second, reasonable restraints help children better shape their personality
Just like my niece, brought up by his grandparents since childhood, although the old couple also loves their children, they will not be vague when they are educated. Parents "have a voice is not loud, but in convincing the child", just like the child plays with the mobile phone for a long time, you have to restrain the child, and you must give the child a clear provision.
The premise of reasoning for children is to let the child believe in you, not afraid of you, you care about the child and love the child, there is a great place in the child's heart, then you will listen to the child, then the child will listen, then the child is unwilling, but you have made it clear that the pros and cons are clear, and the child will be obedient.
This kind of reasonable constraint not only does not oppress the child's personality, but can help the child grow better, establish a code of conduct for the child, suppress the bad side of the child's personality, and motivate the child's good side.
Children who are yelled at and then talk back are also divided into two personality reactions
The first, a reasoned rebuttal, is regarded as having an opinion and an idea
I often see some small videos taken by parents in the northeast, children are more able to chat, even if the parents say "no", the child can also refute one, two or three, saying that the head is the Tao, so that you feel quite reasonable.
For the child's "reasoning" back, in fact, is a good performance, because the child dares to speak, dare to put forward their own ideas that they feel is not right, such a child is very assertive, but also very courageous, for this kind of child parents should be appropriately encouraged, not too high, but also not too suppressed.
The second kind, being spoiled to the point of resisting, will fall on a big heel in the future
There are also some children, from childhood by their parents or elders spoiled more severely, too accustomed to children will also be the child's personality habits, like the mouth of this thing, if the bad side of the parents at the beginning did not stop and educate, then it will only become more and more intense.
Just say "swear words", if the parents strictly stop the child at the beginning, the child will rarely say dirty words in the future; but if the parents treat it as a joke, the number of times the child says dirty words will only increase.
Therefore, the child's rebuttal is also due to family education, if the bad side of the child's personality growth lacks effective constraints, then the child's personality will only develop in the direction of "no rules and unreasonableness", and will fall big in the future.
Every child has the personality of each child, and there is no good or bad personality, but the parents' education method is very important, guiding the good child's personality growth is better, and there will be many problems in guiding the child's personality growth, so parents must pay more attention and often reflect on their own education methods.
I am Xiaoxue mom, a post-90s mother, pay attention to me, and share scientific parenting knowledge every day!