1, last night, my husband and I went to bed after taking a bath, when I slept confused, I suddenly felt that someone locked my neck, and it felt like a hug, and I was struggling to die

1, last night, my husband and I went to bed after taking a bath, when I slept confused, I suddenly felt that someone locked my neck, it felt like a hug, I struggled to the death, and finally woke up my husband. My husband let go of me and said that he dreamed of fighting with thieves, and I was sweating at that time, and I could still be in danger of my life this year!

2. My husband and I are college classmates, in love for four years, and married after graduation. Since I had a baby, I quit my job and was at ease working as a full-time wife at home, playing games online all day. On this day, I was playing League of Legends, and my husband suddenly said: "Honey, you change the name of the game, call it Fat Girl, call it Invincible Rice Bucket!" I nodded, "Yes! It's really cute, invincible little rice bucket. The husband said, "Not invincible!" It's bottomless, bottomless bottom! "What do I mean, do I want to hit him??"

3, Fa Xiao especially likes to play QQ Farm, and he is a vegetable stealing maniac, from 09 years ago to play to now! First of all, he unlocked all the red land, and after the red land was unlocked, the brothers found that there was still black land, so he continued to play. Just yesterday, Fa Xiao finally unlocked all the Black Shi Land and found that there was even a golden land. At that time, Fa Xiao was not calm, but it is still there

4. After eating with my buddies, suddenly I asked him a very personal question: How does it feel for your brother to kiss a girl once? Dude thought for a moment: face macro, and then burned all day! Me: Haha, I didn't expect you to be shy! The buddy sighed: Hey, it wasn't when I kissed her that my rich husband found out, and I was slapped by more than a dozen people for an afternoon!

5. The leader looked at me young and had eyesight, promoted me to secretary, and gave me a lot of meat filling and flour. I didn't understand what it meant to lead the way, so I planned to take it home and make dumplings. But my husband said he wanted to eat flapjacks, and when he came back, my son and I had already eaten dumplings. I beckoned my husband, "Wash your hands and eat." The husband asked, "Is it a flapjack?" I said, "Almost." The son shouted, "Daddy, Mommy specially wrapped some thick-skinned dumplings, I have helped to eat the dumpling stuffing, you hurry to eat the dumpling skin." ”

6. When I was in college, I fell in love with the beautiful class flowers at first sight. Our relationship has always been above friendship, to the point where love is not enough, and I don't have the courage to confess to her. Now it's been 5 years since graduation, Benja is married, and I cried all day at home without going to her wedding. At night, I couldn't help it, and sent her a V letter: Tell the person next to you, please be kind to my youth. Then, her husband came to my house and beat me up.

7, recently the boyfriend is very abnormal, every night to go to a commissary. I didn't go in for two hours and never came out, the key was that the boss was still a young and beautiful girl. I was so angry that I secretly followed him today and watched him do outside the commissary. As a result, the boy actually bought a pack of cigarettes and came out after smoking them in the commissary. For the sake of his health, after he smokes, I can only turn a blind eye, one at a time, better than smoking a pack at a time, okay?

8, the wife got the driver's license yesterday, today she is going to drive the car on the road, I am sitting in the co-pilot. When I got to the road where there were many cars, I could clearly see that she was nervous. The wife clutched the steering wheel with both hands, kept honking the horn, and her face was sweating. I said, "Don't be nervous, don't change lanes, just follow the car in front." Wife: "No, I just drank too much water before going out, and I can't hold back..."

9. With the efforts of our supervisor, we have completed a big order that the company is very interested in. So the boss will approve a day of vacation to rest. The supervisor slept in a daze at Quanjude for a morning and woke up to find the zipper of his LV bag open. The supervisor quickly turned over the bag, there is 5 mao left, call the police, what about the mobile phone? At that time, I was about to cry, and the girl next to me seemed to see something! The girl looked at the supervisor and said lightly: Handsome man, how many meanings do you mean to turn over my bag? The supervisor realized that he had taken the wrong bag: what an embarrassment!

10. Last year, my girlfriend talked about a boyfriend, and the family dug coal in Datong, and I heard that it was worth more than 100 million. I have always been envious that my girlfriend can find such a boyfriend, but recently I heard that the man's family did not agree and recently broke up. My girlfriend was a little depressed, and in order to comfort her, I tried to ask: If you really like it, fight for it! Who in their family disagrees? His dad or his mom? The girlfriend hesitated for half a day, weakly saying: His wife...

11, my girlfriend and I have been in a long-distance relationship, the day before yesterday she suddenly called and said that she was going to break up with me. I wanted to save the relationship and came to her city overnight, where I found her and asked her why. I saw the watch in her left hand show me and said, "Look at how fast the second hand moves, I don't feel a single error." I seemed to understand, and said in frustration: "You mean that the clock can go back to the beginning, but it is no longer that moment, right?" She gave me a blank look and said disdainfully, "This is Vacheron Constantin, and you can't afford it in your lifetime." ”

12, the class reunion, a dirty boy at that time, actually wearing a handsome suit came. The classmates were amazed, and I asked him: Brother, where have you made a fortune recently? Student: I watched a 50 million project, just invested, and I don't know how. A group of classmates cast envious glances, and I was also envious, so after eating I drove him home to the door. He said: Go, look at my project to go! Excitedly, I followed him to the floating station.

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