1, my mother-in-law quietly pulled me to the bedroom and asked: "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price,

1, my mother-in-law quietly pulled me to the bedroom and asked: "I have a Maybach that has been driving for a week, do you want it?" Me: "How can I afford to buy Maybach?" Mother-in-law: "You make a price, I am tired of driving this car, and I will sell you at the right price." I tentatively asked, "80,000?" The mother-in-law exclaimed, "So little? I bought it for more than $5 million. I was distressed: "But my salary is not much, now this little money!" Mother-in-law: "Then now make up 920,000 dowry for you, and this car is sold to you for 1 million." "Dad called to say that the family was demolished, and I immediately resigned to beat Didi and went home to get money. The car came, I didn't expect it to be a Honda Civic, driving or beautiful. I asked the beauty: "Driving a luxury car and working part-time, you are not bad for these few dollars, why?" Beauty smiled contemptuously at me, "I just like to see you poor ghosts stunned, one?" The look of envy and puzzlement on the face. "At that time, I couldn't help but scold her and cry, and after getting out of the car, I resolutely gave her a five-star praise!

2. Studying in college, I rarely go home because I am far from home. When I came home last week, my mother took out a piece of meat and said, "Make braised pork for you to eat today." I was particularly happy, and the surname Fen said, "Mom, I washed and cut the meat." "The moment I picked up the meat, I was not calm, and I found that there were a few white bugs on the meat. I was so frightened that I immediately threw away the meat, and then shouted, "Mom, the meat is broken, and the long worms can't eat it." My mother looked unfazed: "What are you afraid of, how much can it eat when it's so small?" How old are you, and what are you talking about with it? ”

3. After the resignation of Zhongtong Express, I jumped ship to work at the headquarters of JD.com. Some time ago, the company came to a beautiful female colleague, and I took a lot of effort to add her V letter. I talked to her for two days, and she suddenly asked me a strange question: "Brother, you say, if I don't want to receive a message from a very annoying person, what should I do?" I said, "This is very simple, just block it." She said, "I won't." I told her how to black out, and a few minutes later, I messaged, "Will it be?" "The system prompts that the other party rejects your message, she is so smart, she immediately learned."

4, I am a girlfriend in all aspects of the conditions are very general, but the requirements for finding a partner are particularly high. After dropping out of high school, she opened a convenience store near the school! On this day, a matchmaker introduced him to a boyfriend, who was very handsome and picky, and heard that he was an executive of a company. The girlfriend thought about it carefully, felt that at least it must be a manager or supervisor, and agreed to meet it! After meeting at Starbucks, the girlfriend directly asked if they were supervisors or managers? Man: No, I'm a security captain! The man asked the girlfriend if he had opened a trading company, and the blind date was finally unsuccessful. Mainly because this matchmaker's words are also too exaggerated!

5. Male: Let's meet! I don't mean anything else to invite you to a meal. F: Where can I eat? What grade? At what price point? M: As long as the sister appreciates the face of the whole city hotel as you order. F: Really? No way? M: I believe my brother has strength. F: Well, I'm afraid you won't go. M: As long as the sister is willing to see her brother, she will honor it immediately. Say where to go? F: Go to your house and let your sister-in-law cook and eat.

6. The brother-in-law who graduated from Lanxiang was favored by a rich woman when he was a maintenance worker in Evergrande, and the brother-in-law became the woman behind the rich woman, and the family was rich. He was in a particularly good mood and invited me to the stall for a drink. In the end, I was almost drunk, and my brother-in-law had to drag me to the bathhouse to take a bath. When I got to the door, I said: Let's change it, this environment is not very good. The brother-in-law waved his hand and said: It doesn't matter, it's actually quite good here. As soon as I entered the door and rubbed my back, I shouted: It was the boy who rubbed his back last time to block the sewer. The brother-in-law patted me on the shoulder and said: "Wash it for a long time?" We have money!?

7. Yesterday I came home early from work, and I had a hard time having dinner with my parents. My mother didn't want to eat more than half a bowl left, and said to my father: Husband, I can't eat it. My dad immediately brought the bowl over and ate it clean. When I saw the situation, I also said: Dad, I can't eat it. My dad glanced at me and said, "Can't you eat that much?" Loser kids! Give me a clean meal, otherwise I won't have you to eat later! I:......

8. Two days ago, the brother-in-law won 50,000,000 yuan in the lottery ticket, and directly picked up a Porsche 911 in the 4s store. The old Jetta at home is ready to sell online, and a buyer who hung on the Internet for two days asked me: Can this Jetta be expressed to Shenzhen? I replied: Yes. After she bought it, she asked me: How does the courier charge? I told her: SF generally costs 12 yuan a pound. The buyer said: What if it is a headwind? How much is a headwind?

9. Yesterday, I went back to my mother's house and talked about the genus without knowing it. The old mother said: "The genus is still quite accurate, for example, your father belongs to the sheep, and has a gentle temper; I belong to the pig and love to eat and sleep; my uncle belongs to the horse, has a quick temper, and everything must be taken a step ahead." I rolled my eyes at him, "But don't worry, everything is fast!" The husband was anxious: "Hello, you belong to the river crab, and your leg hair is heavier than mine!" "I...

10. As an executive of a company, I looked at a former student who said in a friend's hair circle that there was no money in the jianghu. I quickly transferred 500 to her and added: Be sure to take care of yourself. The student replied: Thank you senior, I love you, be my boyfriend. I was furious when I saw it, and immediately refused, replying: Don't you want to pay back the money to be my girlfriend? Dream big dreams of spring and autumn!

11, the elder sister is older, knows that the smell is beautiful, she has been losing weight recently, the result is not effective. On this day, she was looking in the mirror and seeing her fat appearance, full of unhappiness. When the old mother passed by her, the elder sister Bao complained: I blame you, I was born so fat, ugly to death! After listening to it, the mother glared at her, sneered and said: I said girl, you are really unreasonable, when I gave birth to you, you were only six pounds more, you are like this now, what is the matter with me!

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #