On the bus, a sister got up to get off, and her aunt blushed out of her white skirt, and at this time a little girl behind her asked, "Mom, why did my sister put lipstick on her ass?"

On the bus, a sister got up to get off, and her aunt blushed out of her white skirt, and at this time a little girl behind her asked, "Mom, why did my sister put lipstick on her ass?" A sentence attracted the attention of everyone, and I kindly put the uneaten tomatoes in my hand (is there anyone eating this out this year?). Pressed against her skirt and looked at her in amazement, only to receive a slap. "You see clearly, the old lady's skirt is an embroidered flower!"

2, the neighbor's little boy is very clever, and comes home from work at night to see her being beaten. Ask his mother: Auntie. What did my brother do wrong? Aunt: This boy is always lying, can you say that you can not educate? As soon as I heard it, I said: Children are still education-oriented, and they can't fight! The younger brother immediately shouted: Beautiful, beautiful, gentle sister hurry up and save me! The aunt went up and slapped her twice. Me: Why do you still fight? Aunt: Look at him, he's lying again! I......

3, the man has been staring at me after getting on the bus, and on my legs, my dog, has been staring for half a minute... Then he came up to me and said, is it allowed to bring dogs on the bus? I didn't know how to answer for a moment. I was stunned, I was ready to meet his offense and criticism of me, and then... he... I don't know where to sneak out a small chihuahua...

4, I paid a large half of the money to build a yard with my parents, people in the same village asked me how much money I paid, my mother said that my daughter paid 20,000. My son went home and said, don't tell people how much money you are paying? How much money you say in a girl's family will be sprayed by others, and it is always good to leave three points for talking.

5. Yesterday, I left work early, and I thought of picking up my son from elementary school. Two little guys were seen arguing at the school gate. Arguing with a quarrel, he said: Wendou or Martial Fighting? The other said: Do you dare to be both literate and martial? So I saw these two goods wrenching their wrists while reciting ancient poems!

6, one day cold to go to the hospital for injections, the nurse sister touched my ass and said: "Handsome man, your ass is really upturned, so elastic..." I: "Really?" I deliberately cocked a little, ah ~ ~ ~ " After a sharp pain, the nurse sister pulled out the needle and said: "Look at you are very manly, how dare you be so small, before you penetrate the ass muscles are so tight, do not praise you a needle can not penetrate." "I...

7, the wife often misses the time when they met, so she asked her husband: "What do you think of our acquaintance?" The husband said: "Knowing you is like mistakenly entering a shopping mall that is being promoted, knowing that 'buy one get one free' is a false advertisement, but it can't resist the temptation." ”

8, today I was watching TV in the living room, my wife was going to the toilet, my wife said: Husband is now iPhoneMX is very cheap! I immediately muttered, and after a while, my wife suddenly 'ah' and then rushed out to me and said: Husband, the mobile phone has fallen into the toilet! I was speechless at the simka in her hand!

9, freshman year, our instructor special teasing, two front teeth are all missing, once we sang a competition, the above curtain, the next song: "Crying Sand". The instructor muttered, "What are you crying?" After a while, the curtain was announced: "Same song." The instructor was puzzled: "Still singing?" ”

10, girlfriends from elementary school Sanda, usually behave in a special manner. Today she confessed to the male god she had a crush on for a long time: "That, that, I like you." The male god was not happy at that time: "I have always taken you as a brother, and you are here to spoil and sell cuteness to me!" The girlfriend narrowed her eyes: "The old lady wants to deal with you, do you have an opinion?" Male God: "No, no opinion, all listen to you..."

1 Today I went shopping after work and met a little girl who sold flowers, and the little girl ran to me and said, "Sister, you are so beautiful!" I touched her head: "Where is my sister beautiful?" Little girl: "Buy a bouquet of roses and I'll tell you!" So I bought one and asked, "Can I say it now?" The little girl replied, "Sister, you are spending this money beautifully."

12, woman: "Boss, how much does it cost to call a body important?" The little boss looked at her and said, "Maybe 2 yuan, maybe 4,000 yuan." Woman: "Why?" Little boss: "Weigh 2 yuan at a time, and crush the scale is 4,000 yuan." ", charging scale home precision anthropometer girls dormitory small adult weight loss durable weighing electronic scale ¥ 2480870 people have purchased coupons to reduce 100 yuan, buy

13, my mother, who is only 21 years old, found a matchmaker to arrange a blind date for me. When I went to the restaurant, I found that in addition to me, there were 2 men who were also dating together. Male 1: "I earn 8,000 a month." Male 2 said, "I earn 10,000 a month!" I knew I had no chance of winning and said, "I make $50,000 a month!" The woman said satisfactorily, "Okay, that's you!" After marriage, the wife said, "What about your salary card for this month?" I took 5,000 yuan and gave it to her: "This is this month's salary." The wife said angrily, "You don't mean you make 50,000 a month?" Me: "Yes! Isn't 50,000 horns equal to 5,000 pieces?"

14, I have a colleague who looks very ugly and has not been able to find a girlfriend, after work he bought me a box of cigarettes and said let me accompany him to go on a blind date, I thought, I don't do this stupid thing! He looked at me pitifully: "I don't dare to go alone, so you can help me." Then my colleague threw me ten thousand yuan, and I took the money in my hand and asked curiously, "What do you mean?" Do you think I'm the one who cares about money? I'm just bent on doing something stupid for you!" ”