1, the village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, my son bought a new pair of pants

1, the village chief showed off to his son: "The pants in our village, I know who it is as soon as I smell it!" "My son tried it several times, and sure enough, he was very accurate, and he was secretly dissatisfied! Once, the son bought a new pair of pants and rubbed them on the cow's butt a few times to give to his father to smell. The village chief couldn't smell it, and thought to himself, "Is there a new person in the village again?" So he praised his son: "You little boy, you are good." "My son fainted!!!

2, the community informed the baby that it was time to get vaccinated, and the son's briquettes were particularly afraid of injections, so they refused to go to all kinds of crying. In order to coax him to go, Dad was forced to sign a series of unequal treaties including buying ice cream, not killing him, taking him to the playground, and so on. Take the briquettes to the community clinic and find that the polio vaccine is just two sugar pills... Now the briquettes are sitting in the playground, eating ice cream, and a serious book says to his father: Dad, when will the next preventive injection be?

3, we have a female supervisor in the office, very beautiful. But now they are all three, not married, not even a boyfriend. I asked her: Supervisor, why are you so beautiful and not married? She said: "When I was a child, I cut an apple, and I accidentally cut it in my hand, and I still have a scar. I asked incomprehensibly: What does the scar on my hand have to do with marriage? The supervisor replied: Then what does it have to do with you whether I get married or not?

4, Mother: Daughter, you can't compete for a good place in the exam, so that your mother can also raise her head when she comes to the parent-teacher conference? Daughter: Yes! But it takes your cooperation! Mom: As long as you can improve your grades, mom is doing her best! Daughter: Give me a thousand dollars to pay for my glasses! I will definitely be angry and make sure that the next exam score will be greatly improved!

5. Wang Wei thinks that he is not very good-looking, and his friends do not say that he is handsome and cool. That's why his wife said all day long that he was cool, cool. On this day, Wang Wei and his wife: My appearance is not very good, but why do you often say that I look cool? The wife said: I said that you look cool and use the abbreviation, the full name is that the appearance is too cruel should be pulled to kill!

6. My brother-in-law was promoted from programmer to general manager of the company, and invited me to drink in the evening. I was a "strict wife", afraid that my wife would not believe me, so I let him talk to my wife. So the brother-in-law picked up the phone, just opened up and did not speak.... The wife said, "Brother, you help me call your brother-in-law, and say that I will eat with you tonight and will not go back at night." As a result, the wife hung up the phone.

7, the son can not sleep, I asked the son to count the lambs. Son: Mom, I don't want to count lambs, I want to count moms. The son closed his eyes and began to say: A mother! Two moms! Three... After my son slept soundly, my husband put his arms around me: If my son really has dozens of mothers, I will be blessed! Me: Didn't you think that the dozens of mothers of your son are all one look, one virtue? The husband was stunned for a moment, and his face changed dramatically.

8. When I was in my third year of high school, once our Chinese teacher told us the poem "Raining Bells". One of the clips is: Holding hands and looking at each other with tears in their eyes, they are speechless and choking. Then the teacher asked: Tell me, what is the relationship between the two people in this article? Then everyone looked at each other and was silent for half a day, and the squad leader said: It is a good friend relationship. The teacher immediately said angrily: No! Of course, these two people are husband and wife, and the teaching counselor actually said that they were friends, nonsense! What friend would do this!?

9, a rich Maybach in the 4s shop repairs, he had to take his wife to take the bus. After they found a seat and sat down, the wife felt too sunny, so the rich man changed places with her. Not long after the change, the car turned, and the wife was sunburned again. She pushed the rich man, and the rich man sat back in his original seat. But after a while, the car actually turned again. The wife pushed him again, and the rich man was immediately angry: What are you doing, I am not a sunflower!

10. When I was in the first grade, in the middle of the night, I actually cried loudly and woke up my father and mother. My mom rushed over and asked me: What's wrong, kid? I said: I want to eat bread! My mother picked up the feather duster next to me and was about to beat me, but my father stopped me and said, "Forget it, the child wants to eat, I'll go down and buy it for him." In the winter, Dad put on a military coat, knocked on several shops, bought bread, and handed it to me. I said lightly: I don't eat strawberry sandwiches, I want to eat bean paste filling! Immediately after, a mixed doubles meal!

11, the ex-wife does not want children, and wears a birth control ring on her back. After I knew it, I was furious and divorced her directly. After being single for a few days, I went on a blind date with a flight attendant. The flight attendant said to me very directly: I only marry the second generation of the rich! Me: What about the rich three generations? Flight attendant: What did your grandfather do? Me: The tracker of the puller! Flight attendant: Funny! Your grandfather is a poor puller, you dare to call the rich three generations? Me: Why don't you dare? My grandfather pulled his own boat, and even the broken boat was worth a thousand and eight million, and the real money was ten thousand! And my salary is fifty million a year! When the flight attendant heard this, she directly agreed: saying that I am not bad is a bit silly!?

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #