The boy met his girlfriend's parents for the first time, and his girlfriend's mother asked him: "Boy, what ideals have you ever had?" He said: "When I was in elementary school, being the owner of a snack bar was my ideal; when I was in junior high school,

The boy met his girlfriend's parents for the first time, and his girlfriend's mother asked him: "Boy, what ideals have you ever had?" He said: "When I was in elementary school, being a snack bar owner was my ideal; when I was in junior high school, being a game hall owner was my ideal; when I was in college, being a bar owner was my ideal; now, having a mother-in-law is my only ideal." ”

2, Zhang San met his girlfriend's parents for the first time today, and his girlfriend's mother asked him: What ideals have the boys have? Zhang San said: When I was in elementary school, being the owner of a snack shop was my ideal; when I was in junior high school, being the owner of a game hall was my ideal; when I was in college, Bill Gates became my ideal. Now it's time: having a mother-in-law is my only ideal.

3. A reporter visits the Natural History Museum in Washington, D.C. Standing in front of the dinosaur fossil, he told the tourists around him: "This dinosaur is 2 billion years old and 10 months." The tourist was surprised and respectfully asked, "Where did you get such accurate information?" The reporter replied proudly: "I came here to visit 10 months ago. At that time, the docent told me that the dinosaur was 2 billion years old. ”

4, after dinner, chatting with your girlfriend, suddenly received a call from the boss: Xiao Wang, you don't have to go to work! I was suddenly taken aback, and wept bitterly and said: Boss, although I go to work to play games, often doze off, occasionally late, take two days off a week, and talk back to you from time to time, but I always have to say that there is nothing wrong with me, you can't fire me! The boss's impatient voice came from the phone: Don't put garlic on Lao Tzu, tomorrow is the day of your and my daughter's big day, you will not forget it!

5. I studied hard for 12 years in the cold window, and the college entrance examination was admitted to the university of my choice with a good score of 725 points. When the brother arrived at the dormitory one day, the roommates introduced themselves and one of the classmates was Mongolian. His family belonged to the big god-level figure who always traveled to the heavens, and he returned home from the summer vacation of his freshman year. After several days of vacation, they did not come back, and the teacher called them. He said on the phone: Teacher, I am still riding horses on the Hulunbuir grassland to find my family, and now I don't know where they moved!!

6, one day I asked a married buddy: If you were playing a game girlfriend called you and asked you to accompany him shopping, would you go? Dude: Is this still asking, and I will definitely quit the game without hesitation. Me: There are not many people like you! Dude: Yes, after all, the game is more important than life, and the latter is definitely more important.

7, why is there no show called "Husband, Where to Go?" Let the husband take the daughter-in-law to travel around, buy vegetables for the daughter-in-law to cook and wash clothes, comb the daughter-in-law's hair, eat delicious things for the daughter-in-law and accompany the daughter-in-law to do games to coax the daughter-in-law to be happy, the daughter-in-law is responsible for selling cute donkeys and making emotions Eating and drinking and all kinds of embarrassment Husband and then a little unsatisfactory will howl to death, this program is also designated to be able to fire.

8) There was a buddy who was dozing off that night and his daughter-in-law was playing a game. His daughter-in-law suddenly woke him up: go to the hospital to give birth! The game didn't close, so I drove away. Asked him yesterday, is his daughter-in-law still playing games? He said with a newbee face: Game? Who's still playing that stuff? Hit the kids now!

9, the old man is a contract foreman, every day hard to complete their work, on the eve of the Spring Festival Card arrived in the account of 100,000. So I secretly took the old man's bank card, charged 90,000 yuan to my fantasy westward journey account, and then went to Quanjude for a big dinner. As soon as I sat down, a big brother at the next table said to a little boy: Son, daddy talk counts! Kid: Dad, you're amazing, but I still want a tablet. Big brother: Of course, no problem, when you get home, you just need to help me see who your mother is chatting with and what she is talking about...

10, overtime at night, suddenly the power went out, and then a look at the time is also very late, everyone shouted to go back to rest, but the manager is not allowed to say that the call immediately let us wait, so I took the headset to play the game, after playing two games, the light suddenly turned on, I shouted excitedly, called, called... Look around and see that there is no one around, not even the manager is gone!

1 Good brother's son is celebrating his sixth birthday today, so let's take the opportunity to get together. I bought a few Ultramans as toys for my children, and when I entered the house, I found that his children were actually watching Journey to the West. When the child saw me, he said to me: Uncle, can you call me Sun Wukong? I asked strangely: Why? The child said, "You'll know when you shout." I didn't care and shouted: Sun Wukong! This little broken child actually replied: Grandpa is here!

12, the old man likes to raise fish, I spent 20,000 yuan to buy two koi and give them to him. He was very happy and kept the two fish like babies all day. That time, the 6-year-old brother-in-law looked at the goldfish swimming around and gave birth to a bold idea. He thought the fish were too cold to sleep, so he added some piping hot water to the fish tank. The two koi suddenly stopped moving, and the brother-in-law smiled triumphantly, but at night, he cried!

13. After graduating from the University of Science and Technology, he entered Oaks Air Conditioning as a manager. Usually, work is particularly busy, and I don't have time to find a girlfriend. Last night, I returned home early from work and accompanied my mother to watch Journey to the West after eating. Just when Gao Laozhuang married a relative, my mother said to me: "Alas, son, you see that the eight precepts of the pig are all married, and you don't even have a girlfriend!" "I was helpless at that time, the Eight Precepts of the Pig caused me 10,000 real damage."

14, in order to let my son concentrate on learning, I and him about three chapters: first, watch TV every day for no more than half an hour; second, every day on the Internet for no more than half an hour, and can only check homework to see information, can not play games; third, every day after school and children can not play more than half an hour. After a short while, the son spoke: "When you are old, I will have to make three chapters of the Law with them, watch TV for more than half an hour a day, go online for more than half an hour every day, and go out to play with other elderly people for more than half an hour every day..."