1, there is a village chief in China, absconded to the United States has nothing to do, he opened a private clinic, put a sign at the door, said that the disease is cured, pay $500; if the treatment is not good, refund $2000. There is one

1, there is a village chief in China, absconded to the United States has nothing to do, he opened a private clinic, put a sign at the door, said that the disease is cured, pay $500; if the treatment is not good, refund $2000. An American doctor saw the sign and thought it was a good opportunity to make money, so he decided to go to the village chief's clinic. American: I lost my sense of taste, and there was no taste in my mouth when I ate. Village Chief: Nurse, take box 22 of the medicine and drop three drops into the patient's mouth. American: Depend, it's gasoline! Village Chief: Congratulations, the sense of taste has been restored, pay $500. The American doctor had to pay and left unhappily. He returned to the clinic a few days later, intending to get the lost money back. American: I lost my memory, I couldn't remember anything. Village Chief: Nurse, take box 22 of the medicine and drop three drops into the patient's mouth. American: Oh, isn't this the last time it treated the taste of gasoline!? Village Chief: Congratulations, your memory is restored, please pay $500. The Americans had to pay again and left in anger. I returned to the clinic a few days later. American: My eyesight is very poor. Village Chief: Sorry! I don't have any medicine to cure this disease, this is refund your $2000... American: But it's only $800! Village Chief: Congratulations, your eyesight has been restored, please pay me $500... The Americans were not reconciled, and after a few months they went to the clinic again, saying that the ears could not hear. The village chief muttered to the nurse: This is trying to fight with us to the end, it is better to add some consumable medicine to the No. 22 medicine and let him go! The Americans listened and ran. The village chief caught him and said: Your hearing has been restored... Before the village chief could finish speaking, the Americans threw down three hundred and never came back. The next year, the American sat in a wheelchair and let the assistant push and go to the clinic, thinking that this time no matter what you say, I will pretend to be crazy and stupid, see how you treat the disease? Who knows, the village chief was overjoyed to see the situation, and quickly called the American's wife: Honey, your husband is forced to do this, what are we still sneaking around? The Americans heard this and grabbed the phone to question their wives. Who knew that the phone was not connected at all. The Americans are really crazy after admitting to paying the medical fee... ”

2. Took the wuliangye treasured by his father and followed his girlfriend home to see his parents. When I arrived, I thought about how to talk about my future mother-in-law. Seeing the future mother-in-law cooking there, I thought that the good guys would have to be polite, so I said: Auntie, let me do it! Unexpectedly, the future mother-in-law listened to the direct shovel: That line, you come! Since then, I have embarked on the road of no return that every time I go back to my mother's house, I cook!

3, colleague is a 200 pounds of fat smashing, every time after eating a full stomach is bulging, so after the meal he always has to unwind his pants belt. One day, Manager Zhang specially invited the company's people to participate in a very grand banquet, at the banquet, he was worried that he had eaten too much, and it was not convenient to undo the trouser belt at that time, so he untied the trouser belt in advance. Next, a young and beautiful young lady announced: "Next, please all of us stand up and welcome Manager Zhang with warm applause to give us all a few words." "At the moment of the stand-up: Whoops, the colleague's pants fell off... Since then, it has become famous in the company.

4, the door of the junior high school dormitory is the kind of wooden plank wrapped in iron, which has been a long time and is not very solid. There are a few buddies who never push in the door, always kick. Finally one day, one day, he kicked down, and everyone was thinking about waiting for the class teacher to clean him up. Only to see this buddy calmly hold the door well, in the evening when the class teacher checked the dormitory deliberately loud noise, the old class kicked the door open as always, and then left without a word.?

5. Today is my husband's 35th birthday, and I have prepared a table of delicious food. My husband was very touched and ate very happily. Before going to bed at night, we were lying in bed, snuggling up and whispering, when I suddenly heard a few people downstairs shouting. I thought it was a thief, so I asked my husband to go down and have a look. My husband didn't come up for half an hour, so I put on my clothes and went downstairs to look for him. Then, I watched my husband crouch downstairs watching a schoolboy play the glory of the king, and he also directed the people: Oh, you shooter should not break the dawn, you should come out of the resurrection armor!

6) This afternoon, my nephew had to ask me to take him to buy a new mobile phone. Then he pulled out a bunch of hundred-dollar red bills from his pocket and said, "Spend mine!" "I bought him Apple 11 and took him to haidilao, and the money was finally spent." When I was eating Haidilao, I asked my nephew, "Is this money left to you by your mother?" The nephew smiled and said, "No! I took advantage of your lack of attention and took it in your bag! ”

7, almost the New Year, grab the high-speed rail ticket home on the Internet, the beautiful colleague knows and let me also help her grab one. It was hard to grab, 547 yuan, and then she transferred 520 to me. I reminded her that there were still 27 yuan, and she actually said: Oh, more than 20 yuan you are also entangled, are you short of these dollars? Look at you stingy! I thought about it, and I was sure I was missing those few bucks. Then, I refunded the ticket and asked her to come to the next person on the way.?

8. The girlfriend confessed to the male god who had been in love for a long time, and as a result, she was ruthlessly rejected, and the girlfriend was devastated, overeating, and became particularly fat. The girlfriend's mother went to persuade her: "Daughter, it is time to lose weight!" Dude: "Cupid doesn't help me, what is the use of my weight loss?" Her mother: "Lose weight, otherwise Cupid wouldn't have such a long arrow that could string your heart together with someone else's heart through your thick fat!" ”?

9. My wife and I just came back from our honeymoon, my wife and girlfriend went to play, and I had dinner with my parents. At this time my phone rang, I answered, the other person: Hey, Xiao Tang, I am your father. I was angry: Grandson, I lied to the wrong person, my father ate next to me. Then I hung up the phone. At this time, my father said quietly: Will it be your father-in-law???

10. My wife and I are classmates at the University of Finance, and we got married not long after graduation. My wife has been losing weight recently, but she can't control her mouth, and she should eat and drink every day. I discussed with my son how to hint at my wife! So, at the dinner table, my son asked me: Dad, are there many contradictions in the world? I smiled and said: Of course! For example, your mother only focuses on two things in her life, eating and losing weight!?

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