1, soon after the new marriage, I found that my wife's stomach was bulging! I thought it was a joy and immediately took it to the doctor. After the doctor's examination, he said: Your stomach should live with two little people! I was excited

1, soon after the new marriage, I found that my wife's stomach was bulging! I thought it was a joy and immediately took it to the doctor. After the doctor's examination, he said: Your stomach should live with two little people! I'm excited: Wow, twins? Doctor: No, it doesn't matter if one of them is called Tianna and can't eat any more!

2, a friend died in a car accident for two years, his WeChat has not been deleted, suddenly one day, on a whim sent him a message: ""Are you okay over there"? After a while, two words popped up in the message box: "It's okay." "Scared I threw away my phone, I couldn't get back for a long time!"

3, I resigned and went to work in a small company, don't look at the company is small, there are many men. During the interview, the finance asked me to hand over two bank card accounts, and I was puzzled at the time, but I still handed it in. Today's salary is paid, two cards, one into the account of eight hundred, the rest all into the other card. I asked my colleague curiously, and the colleague said, "Boy, you're not married yet!" Do a good job with this boss, this kind of boss is not easy to find ah! ”

4. In the evening, I finally plucked up the courage to meet the goddess I had a crush on for a long time to come out for supper. Then he took the opportunity to confess to her, but she did not say yes or no. Just smiled at me. Later, I sent her slowly to the girls' dormitory. By the door of the dormitory, the door was closed. She said to me: I see that the door seems to have been locked, so let's not go back to the dormitory today. After hearing these words, I was excited, who knew that I gently pulled the door and the door opened! I said to the goddess happily: Look, the door is not locked! Then, after that day, the goddess never paid any more attention to me...

5. Last night my cousin suddenly came to my house to spend the night, so I asked her to go to sleep next door. The next morning I was ready to go to work, and then suddenly thought of what my cousin ate in the morning, so I went into the room to leave her a hundred to eat, when she was still sleeping, when I dropped the money, my cousin woke up, smiled and said to me: Brother, see your movement of losing money is quite skilled ah... The second O'o. What are the children thinking now...

6, many people say that the big moms will bargain when they buy vegetables, so I go to buy vegetables and follow them. I followed the two aunts yesterday and walked around the market! Just out of the market, the ex-girlfriend rushed out of the corner. She grabbed me and yelled, "Why are you like this?" Can't get me to actually follow my mother, something rushed to me! sweat! Patronizing to buy specials, without looking at the face, this is embarrassing.?

7. Yesterday at the entrance of the mall, my cousin drove a Baojun and crashed into Wuling Hongguang, and the two quarreled particularly fiercely! Finally, the Wuling driver really couldn't stand it, picked up the mobile phone and called: "Hey, father-in-law, give me 5 million, I'm going to kill a person!" "I thought my cousin would drive away immediately, or apologize." Unexpectedly, my cousin also took the mobile phone and pressed it a few times: "Dad, send me your bank account number, someone is going to kill me, you are ready to collect money!" "Then the two stiffened up and fought, and finally it was solved by the insurance company!"

8. For a while, I was fascinated by martial arts TV dramas, and my academic performance dropped seriously, and I always felt that I could also cross the sword and fight righteousness. But before I could act, my sister began her heroic deeds. She wrote a martial arts novel by her mid-brother in more than twenty exercise books. Every day when I peeked, I copied it step by step, and this time it was discovered by my parents, and my mother watched my father beat my sister. I was even more miserable, and my mother said while hitting: You still have a copy! Have the ability to write their own ah...

9. Several colleagues ate together, and a colleague said that he had bad luck recently and wanted to worship the god of wealth. Another colleague said: I don't know if this is a good omen or not, I just finished worshipping the god of wealth last time, I fell down the stairs in front of the temple, fell more than a dozen steps, fortunately no big deal. Me: Maybe Fortuna wants to tell you that it's good to be alive, and you still want money?!

10, the mother-in-law often goes to the fruit shop owner sent a message: Sister, today's fruit is half price, and your favorite strawberries, you can come over and buy it. This is also enough, the mother-in-law immediately got dressed and came to the fruit shop to sweep, a total of three hundred yuan! The mother-in-law asked in surprise: Isn't it half price? The boss smiled and said: Sister, Happy April Fool's Day...?

11, the father-in-law is a home appliance cleaning master, if you return home to let your mother-in-law pinch his shoulders, it is to receive work to earn money. If you don't receive work and don't earn money, you will take the initiative to do housework when you get home. It hasn't changed in decades. A while ago, I went home and lived for half a month, and found that he washed the dishes every day, so I asked: "Is the business so bleak?" The father-in-law sighed and said, "Your mother is old and learned, and when she found out that I didn't receive work, she let her pinch her shoulders!" ”"

#Funny# #Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #