The writer Ma Boyong once wrote such a passage:
A family inheritance is like a good antique.
It has been cared for and polished by many people, quietly accumulated in a long time, and slowly, this heritage is like an antique, which will be wrapped in a layer of mature pulp, quiet and warm, exuding an ancient atmosphere.
Antiques are tangible, intangible, invisible, untouchable, but seeped into the bones and blood of each descendant of the family, becoming a spiritual bond between family members, and even becoming part of their character and even their destiny.
Tutoring and door style are the epitome of Chinese culture, and it is also the most valuable wealth of a family.
Throughout the ancient and modern Chinese and foreign countries, the influence of tutoring and door style on children is immeasurable.
01
Pattern is the best feng shui.
The so-called pattern is the internal layout of psychological elements such as a person's vision, mind, and courage.
Mencius youyun: "The poor are alone, and the da is good for the world." ”
Recently heard a story:
A parent takes his child to a restaurant for dinner and meets a beggar at the door.
Most parents may take the opportunity to educate their children and say, "You must study hard, otherwise you will have to be like them in the future, without a job and begging for a living." ”
But this parent said in a serious tone: You must study hard, and let such people have jobs in the future, and do not have to fall to this point. ”
Carnegie said: "People in the zero-degree pattern follow the crowd, people who have a one-degree pattern see themselves, people with a second-degree pattern see the world, and people with a third-degree pattern change the world." ”
The pattern of life is invisible and untouchable, but it can really restrict how long a person can go.
All behavior in life is conditioned by this pattern.
02
Independence is the best growth.
Recently, I saw a public service video full of positive energy, a mother who has not been to school, but taught her daughter the things of a lifetime.
A mother and daughter sell freshly cut fruits for a living, and the mother has not been to school, so she cannot educate her children about anything, and the only thing that can be taught is to learn and practice in life.
One day after school, when the little girl returned to her own fruit stall, she looked enviously at her classmates who were eating ice cream.
Her mother looked into her eyes and looked down at a few coins in the bowl and felt helpless.
In the evening, the mother made pineapple ice cream, the daughter thought it was delicious, she suggested selling it to make money, and the mother encouraged the daughter to go to the street to sell pineapple ice cream, but because the daughter had no experience, so there was no sale.
The mother said to her daughter: You go to the vegetable market to see how others sell things, and after the daughter sees the small selling power of the merchants, says the price, etc., she goes home to make a price list, goes to the street to sell hard, and finally sells, and it is getting better and better.
Let the child be independent and self-reliant, rather than coddling, this is the best family education.
At home, children should be raised from an early age as independent social people.
The children cultivated in this way can become independent social people when they embark on social change, and have the momentum of "fearful future generations".
03
Tolerance is the best cultivation.
The ancients had clouds: "Do not be too strict in attacking people, but think about their acceptance; teach people not to be too high in goodness, and make them obedient." ”
Legend has it that there was an old Zen master in ancient times, walking in the Zen temple one night, and suddenly saw a chair in the corner of the wall, and when he looked at it, he knew that a monk had violated the temple rules and went out to hang out.
The old Zen master was silent, walked to the wall, removed the chair, and squatted on the ground.
Sure enough, a small monk climbed over the wall, and in the darkness jumped into the courtyard on the back of the old Zen master.
When his feet landed on the ground, he realized that it was not a chair that he had just stepped on, but his master. The little monk suddenly panicked and opened his mouth.
But to the little monk's surprise, the master did not scold him sharply, but said in a calm tone: "It is cold in the middle of the night, go and put on one more dress." ”
We can imagine the mood of his disciple after hearing the old Zen master's words, in this tolerant and silent education, the disciple was not punished by his mistakes, but was educated.
The power of tolerance is amazing.
Tolerance is a kind of generosity, a kind of open-mindedness, but also a kind of understanding, a kind of respect, but also a kind of cultivation and encouragement.
04
Reading is the best habit.
In 1937, when the Japanese army invaded China, Lin Hui's family became a war refugee, and he left Beiping in a hurry under artillery fire, traveled to many places, and began a nine-year exile.
At that time, the son was five years old and the daughter was eight years old.
In the extremely difficult living conditions of the fugitive life, Lin Huiyin still did not forget to give the children literary edification.
Lin Huiyin also insisted on teaching children to read ancient texts every day, and when there was no book to read, he read his old poems.
Later, when she was sick in bed, she had to let the children read Michelangelo's biography.
The children could not read, Lin Huiyin endured the pain, recited to the children, and explained to the children in detail and emotionally.
Over time, Lin Huiyin has cultivated a good habit of children like to read since he was a child, and the war has not delayed too much children's education.
People who like to read can draw endless knowledge from books and educate themselves. Every day of reading is a day of progress.
Reading is not only a ladder of a person's progress, but also an inexhaustible driving force for a family to prosper.