There are many times when the union of two people is not out of each other's intentions, especially in the era of arranged marriage between parents, and the tragedies caused by marital discord are innumerable.
He Xueyuan, the mother of The famous talented woman Lin Huiyin during the Republic of China, is a tragedy caused by arranged marriage, and her whole life has lived in misfortune and pain, and Lin Huiyin has more than once expressed her mother's presence to the outside world to a great extent affected her attitude towards marriage.
After the concubine married into the Lin family, He Xueyuan's original unhappy married life plummeted, and the concubine who gave birth to four sons, "Mother by Son Gui", squeezed He Xueyuan and daughter Lin Huiyin, who were wives, into the backyard to live.
But in the end, none of the four sons could surpass Lin Huiyin's achievements, and I don't know if He Xueyuan would be relieved because of this matter.
(1) He Xueyuan's tragic married life
"When you marry into our family, don't think about being lazy, pass on the generations, and taking care of your husband is your first priority."
The mother-in-law pointed at He Xueyuan more than once and scolded her, and she never thought that the wife she had set for her son would not only not serve people after marriage, but also had no children.
He Xueyuan could only bow her head and admit her mistake in the face of her mother's incessant accusations, and then desperately went to work, in that feudal society, it was a great disrespect for her daughter-in-law to open her mouth to confront her mother-in-law.
He Xueyuan was born in Jiaxing, Zhejiang, she is a typical small family jasper, but the education received from childhood is that women are talentless and virtuous, and the family has never given her the opportunity to read and recognize, but requires her to master female workers and female reds, so that she can handle housework well in the future.
But who knows that He Xueyuan, because she is the little daughter of the family, she is spoiled with her mother every time, unwilling to learn embroidery, and the family is also very spoiled for her, and over time she has developed a lady's temper.
After the age came, the head mother of the Lin family proposed to the He family and made He Xueyuan her son a daughter-in-law.
At that time, arranged marriages by parents were very common, but the son of the Lin family had read books and received a new education, and he very much hoped that he would find a wife with common topics to spend the rest of his life with.
Lin Changmin was very angry after learning about the marriage arranged by his mother, and tried to resist, but it had no effect, and finally he reluctantly married He Xueyuan.
Although he was very satisfied with He Xueyuan's appearance after marriage, over time, the shield and drawbacks between the two of them appeared, and no matter how beautiful their appearance was, they could not make up for the gap in their thinking.
Many times there is no common topic between husband and wife, He Xueyuan can not understand Lin Changmin's new thoughts, Lin Changmin can not accept his wife's small temper, over time, the frequency of quarrels between the two people is getting higher and higher, and later Lin Changmin is not even willing to sleep with He Xueyuan.
He Xueyuan locked herself in the house every day to hurt the spring and autumn, unwilling to intersect with the outside world, but after all, it is not a long-term solution, after the mother-in-law knew about this matter, she naturally turned to her son and began to call her daughter-in-law to make rules.
Poor He Xueyuan had not been sad for long, and began to cook, wash, clean up the house every day, and other times she had to live in a room with her mother-in-law in order to serve her mother-in-law every night to rest.
In the face of such endless frustration, He Xueyuan wanted to cry without tears, but she had already married into the Lin family, and the only thing she could do was to be a good daughter-in-law.
Every night she had to give her mother-in-law a leg massage, and sometimes she couldn't stop when her mother-in-law was asleep, otherwise she would be scolded.
Even if He Xueyuan was pregnant, she could not avoid work, and soon after she gave birth to a son, which was a great joy for the entire Lin family, and He Xueyuan also thought that her painful life would be improved.
But who knew that after giving birth to a child, she not only failed to stop working, but also had an additional responsibility to take care of the child, and her mother-in-law did not offer to supplement her nutrition.
He Xueyuan can only take the child while washing and cooking for the people in the family, Lin Changmin was originally dissatisfied with He Xueyuan, and now he is even more impatient when he looks at He Xueyuan, who has become out of shape and loose skin because of the housework for a long time.
He Xueyuan was bullied by her mother-in-law at home, and at the same time lost the love and shelter of her husband, living under very serious high pressure every day, and she suffered from very serious hypoglycemia.
Once the mother-in-law called her into the house to work, He Xueyuan was holding her newborn son in her arms, and suddenly felt a dizziness, her hands could not make the strength, and the child fell to the ground and fell to her death.
The blow to He Xueyuan was almost devastating, and her mother-in-law began to endlessly accuse her of not taking care of even a child, and also caused the Lin family to lose a boy.
At this time, He Xueyuan's mental condition had a very serious problem, but she had no one to talk to, and could only bury all her pain and dissatisfaction deep in her heart.
(2) The concubine enters the door and the wife completely falls out of favor
But in that era, it was very serious that the wife could not pass on the generations, in order to be able to block the discussion of others, He Xueyuan worked hard to show kindness to her husband, and finally successfully got pregnant again.
Pregnant in October, once in childbirth, He Xueyuan painstakingly gave birth to a girl, that is, the later Lin Huiyin.
The mother-in-law originally had some expectations for this child, but after knowing that it was a girl, she scolded He Xueyuan on the spot and once again proposed to her grandson who was thrown to death by her.
Lin Huiyin's childhood was very painful, and the most she heard was that her mother complained that her father did not love their mother and daughter, and her grandmother favored sons and daughters, not only oppressing her mother to work endlessly, but also very unwelcome to her.
He Xueyuan's behavior caused very serious psychological harm to the young Lin Huiyin, so that Lin Huiyin later grew up to be very resistant to marriage, and she said to the outside world more than once that for a long time, when she mentioned marriage, she thought of her mother's pain and resentment.
He Xueyuan's mother-in-law would never allow the Lin family to "pass on the generations" without boys, and Lin Changmin did not open a word of comfort to his wife at this time, let alone try to persuade his mother to be more tolerant of her daughter-in-law.
He met a gentle, kind, considerate girl, Cheng Guilin.
She has all the capital that a young girl has, and she is not like He Xueyuan who has a bitter face all day, she only knows to quarrel with him, the important point is that Cheng Guilin can understand lin Changmin's thoughts, so that Lin Changmin feels that he has met the other half of his life.
So Lin Changmin decided to take Cheng Guilin as a concubine, He Xueyuan was very excited after learning about this, and absolutely did not allow another woman to appear in the family, He Xueyuan felt a very serious threat.
However, every objection she opened at this time seemed so pale and powerless, not only her mother-in-law was unwilling, but even her husband was cold to her, and in the end, He Xueyuan could only choose to succumb to the ridiculous reality.
Watching the girl named Cheng Guilin triumphantly enter the Lin family, her entire ten years of married life was humble and flattering, and now it looked like a joke.
Cheng Guilin knew very well who the biggest patron of this family was, and she desperately fought for Lin Changmin's favor, although like He Xueyuan, she had not read books and did not understand Lin Changmin's new ideas.
However, Cheng Guilin will be spoiled, know how to show weakness, and always show a look that he cannot leave Lin Changmin, which makes the macho Lin Changmin very satisfied.
The most important point is that since Cheng Guilin married into the Lin family, she was not only favored, but also very angry, giving birth to four healthy boys in a row, which made Lin Changmin's mother happy.
The feelings between the son and Cheng Guilin are sweet, the family is still prosperous, better than He Xueyuan, who always provokes himself to be angry, more than a star and a half, and the mother-in-law is also more and more eccentric.
Sometimes Lin Huiyin wanted to open his mouth to comfort his mother, but he Xueyuan pushed her away fiercely, pointed to her nose and asked, "Why aren't you a boy?" ”
He Xueyuan desperately maintains her poor self-esteem in the Lin family, and the only chip in her is that she is a wife, and she often wants to use her identity to embarrass Cheng Guilin.
But whenever she had this idea, she would be stopped by her mother-in-law and husband, and after a long time, no one in the family was willing to listen to what she said, and even the servants in the family knew that the ostensible hostess was He Xueyuan, but in fact, the most favored was Cheng Guilin.
Lin Huiyin has long lived in such an oppressive environment of pain, she put all her hopes and expectations on learning, she believes that as long as she studies hard and grows up, she can leave this home, and Lin Huiyin is also fed up with her mother's endless complaints and curses.
She knew in her heart that her mother was the best person in the world, and when her grandmother preferred sons to daughters, it was her mother who gave her warmth and love, but it was also her mother who complained and cursed in her ear more than once.
When Cheng Guilin was the most favored, the family was busy for the four boys, and almost no one remembered that Lin Huiyin was still a veritable Miss Lin Family, lin Huiyin and his mother could only go to the backyard to live, and even eating had to rely on people's sniffles.
(3) Lin Hui is a household name
He Xueyuan even had the heart to compete with Cheng Guilin, it was useless, Lin Changmin was not willing to get along with her, she was only left with Lin Huiyin as a child.
Later, after growing up, Lin Huiyin inherited her mother's beautiful appearance, and her talent was not inferior to men, and her poetry was once sought after by countless people.
But anyone who has read Lin Huiyin's works can feel that she was never willing to spend much ink on depicting her childhood, and Lin Huiyin has more than once told others that her childhood was living in an endless darkness.
There are no harmonious and loving parents, there is no kind grandmother, when he was a child, he was most looking forward to growing up, and Lin Huiyin had no way to empathize with other people's happy childhood.
Her attitude towards her mother is very delicate, she pities this woman who has ruined her life because of arranged marriages, but she also resents her mother, and puts his pain and hatred on her, and she cannot understand why her father is unwilling to give her mother a little more tolerance, and she hates her grandmother most of all.
Lin Huiyin believes that the root cause of all evil lies in her grandmother," so she studies hard so that she can one day escape from the family.
Later, Lin Huiyin became a well-known poet, architect and writer with her own ability, and successfully left this home that made her miserable for half a lifetime.
Even after Lin Huiyin became an adult, He Xueyuan never gave up cursing and complaining, and even the servants in the family were reluctant to listen to her talk about those old things, but He Xueyuan still tried to tell the people around her over and over again, and each time she said it was like re-experiencing it.
Over the years, He Xueyuan has never really come out of that time, she is hostile to everything in the Lin family, but Lin Huiyin's achievements are also a kind of redemption for He Xueyuan to some extent.
Cheng Guilin had a son named Lin Heng, who was preparing to enter Tsinghua University after graduating from high school, and was living in Lin Huiyin's home at that time.
After He Xueyuan learned of this matter, she appeared in front of Lin Heng every day, and bitterly accused the other party of every move, as if to return the "humiliation" she had suffered in Cheng Guilin in this way to her son.
But in fact, the relationship between Lin Huiyin and Lin Heng is not bad, the two have never had any intersection of interests, Lin Huiyin still takes good care of this half-brother, and Lin Heng also respects this sister very much.
Only He Xueyuan was alone in the old world and could not extricate herself, and while complaining about the world, she was constantly punishing herself.
Lin Huiyin, as a famous and talented woman in the Republic of China period, could have had a near-perfect love, but it is precisely because she has seen how failed her mother's married life has been, Lin Huiyin once had a very strong resistance to feelings.
Lin Huiyin wasn't even sure what kind of person she would find to stay with her for the rest of her life, because she was afraid that she would follow her mother's old path, after all, she had experienced it and witnessed how painful her mother's life was.
She desperately escaped from her original fate, but He Xueyuan did not care about her daughter's inner thoughts at all, and still seized every opportunity to attack the people who had hurt her.
Even Lin Huiyin couldn't see such an act, and repeatedly advised her mother not to bother with the old things anymore, and to let go of the memories of Lin Changmin and Cheng Guilin.
After all, so many years have passed, and the mother should also try to find her own life, always trapping herself in the memory, so the rest of her life will have to pay for the pain she has experienced.
However, He Xueyuan had no way to understand this truth, even if Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng got married later, He Xueyuan was still picky about her son-in-law, frantically trying to find a sense of existence in front of everyone, which brought Lin Huiyin a lot of trouble.
But fortunately, whether out of pity or respect, they chose to tolerate some of He Xueyuan's behaviors, so as not to make this poor woman's later life more miserable.