Early love for many adolescent children, is a very common thing, now the child nutrition is sufficient, the body development is relatively early, coupled with the popularity of the Internet, the impact of idol film and television dramas, children understand more and more, the situation of early love is becoming more and more serious!
As an old teacher with more than ten years of class teacher work experience, I have encountered many children's early love, experienced more, whether the child has early love, the class teacher can see at a glance, because the children of early love will have the following three manifestations.
01 There are three basic manifestations of early love in children
First, the eyes are wandering in class, and they often smirk
I have a student, the seventh grade academic performance is still very good, every time I find that when she listens to the class, her eyes are bright, she will always stare at the teacher and the blackboard, follow the teacher's thinking, the efficiency of the whole lesson is very high, so by the end of the seventh grade test, her grades have made great progress in each subject.
In the eighth grade, I found that she had changed a lot, her eyes were no longer staring at the teacher and the blackboard, but when she listened to the class, her eyes were empty, in a state of wandering, and even often put her hands on her cheeks, brooding and smirking, as if she was recalling something beautiful and happy.
When I looked at this state, I was shocked: this girl must be in love, which is obviously a sweet look of falling in love. Then I took a chance to talk to her slowly, and she told me one by one: I really fell in love with the boy in the next class, the two only started during the summer vacation, just been together for two months, and she also stressed that she would recall those happy and sweet moments with him every day, so she often couldn't even listen to the class.
Second, I love to hang out on the weekends and like to chat on my phone
Adolescent children's learning tasks are not easy, even on the weekend also need to complete a certain amount of homework, so generally the child who studies hard is not writing homework on the weekend, or staying at home to rest, if the child has a different performance than usual, it means that her life has changed.
One of the mothers in the class called me very distressed and told me that her daughter had to go out to play for half a day every weekend this semester, and never told her where to go, just said to go shopping, you know that her daughter rarely went out on weekends before.
Not only that, Monday to Friday time daughter also asked to play half an hour of mobile phone, said to check the study materials, she did not want to give, can not stand the daughter's repeated requests, considering that she was also very conscious before, so she gave. But once she sneaked in through the crack in the door and saw that her daughter's mobile phone desktop was stuck in the chat interface, with a smirk on her face, because she was too addicted to chatting, she observed her daughter outside the door for a long time and did not find it.
As soon as I heard this mother finish, I told her bluntly: The only reason is that your daughter is in love. At first, her mother did not believe that her daughter was so well-behaved that she could fall in love early, but after a round of questioning, her daughter finally admitted that she was in love with a boy in the class.
Third, I like to buy the same style, such as couples' clothes, couples' school bags, etc
The mood of children in early love is very contradictory, because it is not the age that can talk about love in a bright and upright way, so they are very afraid of being known but they want others to know, after all, there are people who like people who can tell the world, but they are afraid of facing the scolding of parents and teachers.
Since they can't say it explicitly, they will pick out their relationship with everyone by buying the same model, such as buying couple clothes, and then find a suitable opportunity to wear it out together, so that passers-by will know that they are a couple relationship at a glance, and this feeling that others know will make them feel very sweet.
Or buy a couple's school bag, two people carrying the same school bag of men and women, as long as their peers can see the relationship between the two of them at a glance, the teacher may not necessarily see it if he is not careful.
However, for the class teacher with rich experience, such a couple school bag can basically be seen at a glance and different from other children's school bags, if the two are still the same class, it is generally a look at a quasi, after all, the class teacher is still familiar with the changes of the children in his class!
02 Parents face their children's early love, it is advisable to be loose and not to be blocked
As a class teacher for more than ten years, the general child has a different performance than usual, I will choose to communicate with the parents in time, every time I communicate with the parents of the child, their first reaction is not to believe: their children are so obedient how can they fall in love early, but once they communicate with the child carefully, basically eight or nine are not far from ten.
This is not because the class teacher has a golden eye, but because we, as a professional teacher, will pay special attention to the child's every move: their looks, behavior and emotions change, as a parent, if the teacher and you reflect these performances of the child, please be sure to believe the teacher, and work with the teacher to find a way to deal with the problem of the child's early love as soon as possible.
But in the process of processing, I found that many parents do not know how to face and deal with the problem of early love in their children's adolescence, parents can buy some books for adolescent children to read, and parents with adolescent children can learn a lot of useful methods from them.
For example, boys and girls are faced with a common problem: what to do if they like the opposite sex or are liked by the opposite sex, boys and girls deal with problems from different angles and ways, for girls, we should teach girls to politely and firmly reject each other, and for boys we should tell boys about the responsibilities and solutions they need to take.
For example, the girl Lolo in the book "Private Room Book for Adolescent Girls" received a love letter written to her by the boy, and after her mother saw Lolo's love letter, she did not open it and read it, but told her through the form of her mother's whisper:
First of all, Lolo's main task is still to study, do not distract from learning because of emotional problems.
Then deal with this matter coldly, as if he did not receive this love letter, if the boy writes again, he can politely and firmly reject him.
The boy's handling of the situation of early love is very crisp and clean, and he is straightforward about the responsibilities he should bear and the way to deal with it.
First of all, tell the boy that the good feelings of adolescence are not love, and true love requires many conditions, such as the ability to love, the ability to make money, the ability to handle the family relationship between the two sides, etc. Through such a story, the boy understands the responsibility that love needs to bear, and also guides the boy to learn to take responsibility.
Secondly, guide the boy to reply to the other party with a letter, politely reject the girl, tell the girl that she should focus more on learning, and at the same time, she should be generous in life and treat her as a normal friend.
Similarly, in the face of early love, boys and girls are handled in completely different ways, which can be simply summarized: girls must learn to protect themselves, and boys must learn to take responsibility!
Not only the problem of early love, adolescent children will also encounter a lot of confusing problems: such as how to wear bras when girls' breasts are enlarged, how to deal with menstruation, such as how boys should face the phenomenon of morning erection, etc., parents and children need to understand the physiological and psychological changes of adolescence to better spend puberty!
Adolescent children are a headache for parents, but from my experience as a class teacher for more than ten years, if children can smoothly pass through the confusion and turmoil of puberty, children will grow and mature rapidly, and more importantly, as parents, we should guide children how to learn to grow at the critical moment of puberty and become a responsible person.