1. Son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, marriage room,

1. Son: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. Mom: Okay! Wait for my news tomorrow. The next day son: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? Mother: Son, the wedding house, the wedding car, has bought the full money! Spot! Bring me back and get married! Your looks are good if someone wants to! Hurry up and get me back to get married!

2. The rich second generation met the female neighbor at RT-Mart, and the female neighbor stuffed five thousand yuan for the rich second generation without saying a word. Then the female neighbor said to Fu Erdai: As long as you pretend to be my boyfriend, the money is yours! Fu Er Dai thought that he had food to eat and money to take, and agreed, and the next day he and his female neighbor went home to see their parents. As soon as they sat down, the parents of the female neighbor spoke: Good son-in-law, I like you very much, and my daughter will hand it over to you! Fu Er Dai stood up and drank all the Wuliang liquid in front of him. After a while, fu erdai looked at the 250-pound female neighbor and said coldly: Uncle, you want to blackmail people, don't you?

3. In math class today, the teacher has started to be a demon again. We looked helplessly at the math teacher, alas, there was no way. The teacher said: The students are very tired in class, let me tell you a story of "Journey to the West" to relax. It is said that the master and apprentice went west and were targeted by the white bone spirit, Sun Wukong went to find food for the master, and drew a circle on the ground with a golden hoop stick, with a radius of 2 meters, asking what is the area? One of the students shouted: Teacher, you are enough! I don't like math classes, I don't know if you like it or not.

4. Next to a reservoir, a little boy loses his voice and cries. It turned out that the little boy and his father were playing hide-and-seek by the reservoir, one person hiding and one person looking for it, and when it was his father's turn to hide, the little boy searched for an hour and did not find it. Later, the police accompanied the boy for another 20 minutes before finding the boy's father. Later, I learned that Dad was hiding in the lake, stretching out a reed to breathe.

5. Brother-in-law accompanied her sister to visit RT-Mart to see a Chanel bag, the sister took it to see, the shopping guide said coldly: 38888 yuan, do not buy do not touch, touch dirty can not afford to lose. The brother-in-law heard the anger and said: Wrap it up for me, don't touch it with your hands, I don't want it when it gets dirty. The shopping guide's face was green, busy with gloves to pack the bag, invoice, brother-in-law asked: where to pay money? The shopping guide said: You go forward. The brother-in-law took the ticket, wandered around, and wandered out of the mall gate: no money! No money I am willful!?

6. Today, I met a uncle who collected waste products on the road, saying that waste paper was 6 cents a pound, and I took out the carton left over from the renovation of my house and prepared to sell it to him. When I watched Uncle weigh it with a scale, every time he deliberately hung the carton on the ground, he reminded him to lift the carton off the ground, and Uncle reluctantly carried it up again. When counting the money, I said: "32 pounds, 35 pounds, 38 pounds, equal to 105, the uncle is a total of 105 pieces!" Uncle listened and nodded, took out his wallet to give me money, the money was half taken out, but he paused, and then he took a look at the board and said to me in a serious tone: "Young man, I think I am quite dark, I didn't expect that your young man was actually darker than me!" People say that less to be steady, old to be crazy, you do this is not good wow! I froze, what did he mean by that? Suddenly I understood, the original 105 pounds of waste paper let me count into 105 pieces!

7. When learning to drive, the coach said bitterly: Everyone must mark the luxury car, and you can't afford to lose it! After I listened, I asked: You also have more than ten years of driving experience, what car are you most afraid of hitting? The coach was suddenly silent and took a sharp sip of the Huazi in his hand. Sighed and said: I'm most afraid of hitting the van because you never know how many people will come down from above to hit you!?

8. Fa Xiao was married for six or seven years, and finally gave birth to a son, and he was very happy. Today we celebrated with him, after three rounds of drinking, Fa Xiao drank a little too much. When asked what he was going to name his child, he was a little agitated. Fa Xiao: "Land Rover, definitely call land Rover!" My son is definitely better than me, and he will definitely be able to drive a Land Rover! When he finished, he drank the wine. I hurriedly grabbed him: "Dude, don't make trouble, you are surnamed Lan!" ”

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #