1. I finally lived with my girlfriend last night, and when I woke up the next day, I hugged her and looked at her carefully for half a day, asking her how she took off her makeup and how it was different from usual. My girlfriend shyly threw herself into my arms and told me that you have eaten instant noodles for so many years, don't you know that the packaging pattern is for reference only?
2. The girlfriend is from the countryside and has more than 300 acres of land at home. Recently, it was the season when the grain was ripe, and I had been terrified for the past few days, afraid that she would take me back to my hometown. Sure enough, today she said, "Brother, I'll take you home and see my parents by the way!" "I politely refused, saying that I would not do the work of cutting wheat. The girlfriend then said: "Better go, my grandfather is dying, he has dozens of snuff bottle pieces, you may be able to divide two or three pieces, just a few suites!" As soon as she said this, I immediately agreed. When I was a child, I also went to the countryside, and I had feelings for wheat! Really, I don't understand what a snuff bottle or anything, I just want to cut the wheat and pay tribute to the peasant uncle?
3. Her husband was immediately angry, and when he came over, he wanted to beat me, shouting: "Why don't you grab it, a box of mooncakes, you asked me for ten thousand pieces?" I was about to explain when a female colleague came over and stopped her husband and said, "I'll take care of it!" Saying, she took my hand and walked out the door, whispering: "Brother, he doesn't know about borrowing money, don't shout, now it's a whole number, come back to you." "I wondered, didn't I come here today to give money?"
4. My wife took my sister-in-law on a blind date, but it failed, and I asked my wife why. The other party suspects that the sister-in-law looks too beautiful, too surname, too good figure, afraid of not being able to keep. The wife sighed and said: More than twenty years of cabbage, is it difficult to smash your hand? I smiled and said: Now pigs are also so picky eaters, bad don't, good don't, or give me a forget! Fortunately, I ran fast, otherwise my dog's life would not be guaranteed.......
5. After graduating from college, my brother-in-law did not go out to find a good job, and played online games on the home computer all day. The old man was angry and directly withdrew the network cable, and the brother-in-law began to call and chat with his classmates when he was idle and bored. Good fellow, this phone call is not good, there are several classmates who want to get married, and they have notified their brother-in-law to go to the wedding. As a result, in less than a month, the brother-in-law took two thousand yuan of money. The old man had no choice but to reinstall the network cable, and said to the brother-in-law: Son, after bored to play games, do not call classmates!?
6. Go to the night market, look at a 599 skirt on the stall, try it OK, bargain to 100 in one breath, the boss does not agree, it is estimated that the grinding will be 80 can be taken. Before I could say anything, the girlfriend next to me was clamoring to go home, thinking that I didn't want it anymore, so I got up and left. The shopkeeper said: You quietly say the number, there are other customers, I think it is appropriate, I will sell it to you! I suddenly felt that it was not good to look, so I went straight outside, and the shopkeeper dragged me, seeing that this frame did not say a price and would not let me go. Say one impossible: 40! The shopkeeper let go of his hand in an instant: pay for it!
7. Sleep with your daughter at night, there is a snow white storybook next to the bed, and you pick it up to tell your daughter a story: "Baby, you will also be Snow White in the future!" Then I turned the first page and began to read: "Snow White lost her mother since she was a child..." Suddenly I saw my wife with a black face and a fierce face. Wife, I don't have that idea...?
8. After the boyfriend resigned from the factory, he went to sell fruit himself, and bought a car and a house in less than half a year. Yesterday I drove to the beach to play, and the car was running out of gas halfway. Just passing by a gas station, a gust of wind blew my boyfriend's hat away. My boyfriend stopped the car and said to me, "I'm going to pick up my hat and you're helping me cheer!" After that, my boyfriend ran away, and I had to shout in the back: "Come on! Come on! ”?
#Funny Moment#Funny Paragraph# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs to !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
