1. The director calls his wife at night on a business trip. After chatting a few words, my wife said: "Go to bed early, I am too tired today..." The director: "How did I hear that there were other people in the house?" Wife: "You are on a business trip with me alone, a little afraid, called my girlfriend Qinfei to come and accompany me, what's wrong?" Don't believe me yet, or I'll ask the piano man to talk to you twice! Director: "No, I believe you, go to bed early!" After putting down the phone, the director looked at the sleeping piano man next to him, smoked a cigarette all night, and then fell ill... This story tells us that smoking is harmful to health!
2. I like to eat onions very much, but I am always spicy to the eye, so I complain to my colleagues. Me: I have all the onions, just hot eyes, weird, do you have any good way? Colleague: Yes, it is very simple, you cut in the water, it is not spicy. A few days later, I said to my colleagues: Your method is really smart, that is, the trouble point, cut two knives, you have to surface for breath!
3. The sister-in-law used to work as a waiter in a KTV, and later married an honest man, and the two lived a dull life. However, last week, the sister-in-law's husband was not rescued in a car accident, and the sister-in-law was sad. At the funeral, I whispered to her: How much does the insurance pay? The sister-in-law replied: At that time, I did not approve of it, and I did not let him buy it. I asked again: Then how much property did he leave for you? The sister-in-law cried: Two hundred and thirty million. Two hundred million is: remembrance, reminiscence. Thirty million: Don't take good care of the children, don't take good care of the elderly, don't remarry.
4. Wanting to make a joke with his wife, he slapped her on the butt. I didn't expect to shoot her, massage, hot compresses! None of them are good. The key is that the wife is angry, and it is not good to clear her shopping cart of more than 5,000 yuan. Go to the hospital for examination, the staff smiled and told me: "Boy, there is nothing wrong with your wife's ass, that is, the panties are small, Le!" ”
5. After graduating from high school, my sister-in-law has been working in an electronics factory in a foreign country. Yesterday she came back, and my husband and I prepared a table of dishes. Seeing that my sister-in-law had been unhappy, I asked, "How did you develop with your boyfriend who was just here?" The sister-in-law said that it was blown, and I asked why, and the sister-in-law replied: "He can't stand me eating Sichuan hot pot every day!" "Me:"
6. My ex-husband couldn't stand my fox smell and eloped with my good girlfriend. I had a shadow in my heart, single for five years without a boyfriend. This year, my mother gave me a final notice that I would not be allowed to go home if I did not find the object. So I spent 5,000 yuan to let the assistant pretend to be a boyfriend for half a month. A week later, he offered to talk to me about wanting to be my real boyfriend, and I wondered why. He said: In the company, you are my boss always yelling at me, I didn't expect you to be so gentle with me at home, your parents still gave me so many gifts, I don't want to return to you, so I want to seriously try to associate with you.?
7. My cousin is a PhD student who graduated from Southeast University and is 29 years old and has no boyfriend. On that day, the matchmaker introduced a blind date to her cousin, and the conditions were good. My cousin was a little moved, so I asked me to accompany her to see, and the unprecedented surname Fen's hair was coiled and makeup for two hours. The boy was really good, but after the matchmaker left, who didn't pay attention to anyone, and after the show, I asked my cousin: You can't see this difficulty? Cousin sneered: He is my ex-boyfriend, broke up three years ago, I said I had leukemia, he said he just checked for bleeding cancer and didn't want to drag me down...
8. Fell in love with the daughter of a real estate tycoon and gave birth to a daughter in less than half a year. This year my daughter is 20 years old and asked me: Dad, recently someone proposed to me, I don't know what to do? Me: Does he have a car or a house? Daughter: No. Me: Then you can't be with him, it's too boring. Daughter: He said his dad would drive a Ferrari with one hand. Me: Then you can think about it, after all, there are not many lao tzu heroes and good men now.
#Funny# #Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #
A wave of wonderful GIFs
