1, wife: "Hey, if only I could cross to the Tang Dynasty, I would definitely be a noble concubine when I got there, and then I would be dressed and eaten, and a large group of people would serve." Husband: "Think beautiful,

1, wife: "Hey, if only I could cross to the Tang Dynasty, I would definitely be a noble concubine when I got there, and then I would be dressed and eaten, and a large group of people would serve." Husband: "Think of beauty, as far as your tonnage is concerned, don't want to think about the crossing machine can carry the movement."

2, my girlfriend had to drink Starbucks lattes, I went off work to buy it. When I got to Starbucks, I asked the waiter, "How much is a latte?" Waiter: "27 yuan!" I asked, "Why london for $24, Chicago for $20, Mumbai for that."

3, get up in the morning, hugging the sun, I opened the door of the courtyard, and suddenly saw a crazy woman leaning against the door. I saw that her clothes were torn, probably because it was cold, and she squatted there shivering. I looked pitiful, so I went to the house and got something for her to eat, and I took two pieces of clothing that I didn't wear for her to wear... But it didn't take long for me to regret it, because in order to thank me, she ran to my yard and danced for a day, and said that she would be my wife!

4, get up in the morning, embrace the sun, I opened the door of the courtyard, and suddenly saw a crazy woman leaning against the door. I saw that her clothes were torn, probably because it was cold, and she squatted there shivering. I looked pitiful, so I went to the house and got something for her to eat, and I took two pieces of clothing that I didn't wear for her to wear... But it didn't take long for me to regret it, because in order to thank me, she ran to my yard and danced for a day, and said that she would be my wife!

5, the big winter home late, my mother wants to give me a hot meal I said no, eat cold rice people will also be hot, people will eat fever because blood sugar converted into energy. My mother scoffed and said: You squat at the door to drink a pot of cold porridge to see if it is warm!?

6, when I was a child, I didn't like to write homework. As soon as I let my homework hurt and itch my ass, things came. someday. My mother asked me to write my homework, and I saw that the homework was really troublesome, so I said that I ran to the toilet and squatted with a stomachache. After squatting and playing for half an hour, I forgot to go out. Finally my mother came to see me and dragged me out and beat me up. That night, Dad came back from the field, and Mom said to Dad, "This son is not saved." I don't think the toilet stinks, and I'd rather play maggots with branches for more than half an hour in the toilet than write homework. "Then my dad beat me up again...

7, the company completed a project of two hundred million, the boss is happy and bad, invite the whole company to dinner. It was an upscale hotel, and after dinner, Truth or Dare, I was asked to do a hundred squats and my legs were shaking. When I came home, my walking posture was not normal, and my wife asked me what was wrong after seeing it. Tears welled up in my eyes: I blame my colleagues in the company... Before I could finish speaking, my wife was already out with a kitchen knife!

8, that year Qingming, the family went to the grave, the aunt's 17-year-old cousin suddenly smoked twice, and then laughed twice in a low voice, said: All are coming, even if you still have a little filial piety... Then quickly crouch down, pick up the tribute and eat it. The 15-year-old cousin of the second aunt's family was directly frightened to cry, the eldest uncle took the lead in reacting, went up and gave the cousin a whip and two slaps, that year's Qingming, drizzle, the eldest uncle was stunned to go up to persuade the relatives, watching the cousin tearfully prostrate 100 heads before letting him go down the mountain.

9, riding 5200 silver electric motorcycle, to the hotel to meet female netizens, the next morning found that the chain lock of the lock car was cut, put on the hotel fence, the car is gone. The police called for surveillance and saw that a thin old man squatted down for less than 2 minutes, broke the chain and pushed the car away... The car was completely lost. But there is a question that has not been solved, the old thief put the fine steel bar of the iron fence without cutting (it is also careless, the car rut is locked on a steel bar), why bother to cut my reinforced chain lock? Messy!

10, bought a new car, posted a gecko logo on the back of the car to seek safety. In the morning, the gecko had less tail and could not change to a new one, and the next day the gecko tail disappeared again, changed again, and disappeared again. After squatting all night, the culprit was finally found, and it turned out to be the child next door. Asked the reason, he said that he wanted to see if the gecko's tail could grow out without it, and the result was really grown, which was quite magical.

11, with his girlfriend shopping mall. There was a beautiful woman sitting opposite, wearing a short skirt, and I subconsciously crouched down and pretended to peek at something, and was discovered by my girlfriend: "What did you see?" I pulled my girlfriend over and squatted down: "You see, you two collided with your shirts..."

12, the boss: guys, buy pants? Guy: Can I wear these pants? Boss: Of course. The guy just put on the guy: can you squat? The boss said confidently: Squat is no problem. So the guy squatted a few times (warmed up) and asked: Can I run? The boss is a little annoyed: that still needs to say guy: that... I ran? Boss: Run! Guy: I mean really! Boss: I'm not kidding! So the guy ran, really, really ran... Your sister's !!!

13, in the dance class, the teacher played us three pieces of music, in fact, it was Flamingo, but put it in three parts, and then let us guess what style of music it was. A boy was napping in the back, so he was called up to answer, the student: "The first paragraph is samba, the second paragraph is rumba, and the third paragraph is..." The teacher said: "Come on!" ”

14, my husband bought a live chicken after work and let me fry it. After the busy work, my husband wanted to go to the movie theater to see a movie, and I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn't let him. Husband: "Two people watch the waste of money, you stew the chicken well, wait for me to come back after watching it, and share the storyline with you while eating." When the husband came back after reading it, he didn't see the dish and asked his wife: "What about the chicken?" The wife calmly found a chair and sat down: "The chicken was eaten by me, come, sit down and I will tell you about the taste of chicken." ”