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The Spring Festival is the most traditional festival with Chinese characteristics.
The Chinese nation is known as the "state of etiquette", the New Year festival, family reunions, visiting relatives and friends, going out to play, and others will have more contact than usual, at this time, often reflect whether the child understands politeness and rules.
Li Meijin, a well-known professor of criminal psychology, also said in her speech that she would teach her children the rules during the New Year, and believed that before the age of 12, we must let children develop the awareness of rules.
In her speech, she also specifically mentioned that she took her children back to the children's grandparents' house for the New Year.
One day she was peeling oranges, and her daughter stood in front of her and waited.
Professor Li picked up a clove of orange and handed it to his daughter, but told her, "Go and send it to Grandpa." ”
The daughter took the orange in her hand and looked at Grandpa, not wanting to give it away.
Professor Li said to his daughter, "If you don't give it to Grandpa, I won't give it to you later." ”
The daughter sent it to Grandpa, who kissed her happily.
After that, Professor Li asked her daughter to send a petal to her grandmother, and then to her aunt and father.
When she handed her daughter another clove of orange, her daughter naturally rested in Professor Li's mouth.
In the end, Professor Li praised his daughter and peeled an orange for her.
It may seem small, but not all children in life can give good food and use to their elderly parents first, and then enjoy it themselves.
But these little things just reflect a child's sense of rules and upbringing.
"Family Education" once said: "Freedom with rules is called liveliness, and freedom without rules is called wanton." ”
The New Year is actually a good time to teach children to follow the rules, respect others, and get along with the world.
Here are some of the rules that are easy to ignore during the New Year, and you can remind the children.
01
Rules of speech
Many people feel that "fairy tales are unscrupulous", children are the most innocent and lovely, no matter what they say, they don't have to mind too much.
In fact, this is not all right, some words, parents need to teach their children to say properly, some words, parents should remind their children not to say.
First, when you see people, you should say hello and be generous in your reply
It is normal for children to be wary of unfamiliar environments and strangers.
Parents can tell their children in advance who they are going to see and what to call them.
Let the child have a preparation in his heart, and he will not be so vigilant.
You can also have your child practice speaking and looking into each other's eyes while answering questions.
This is not only a kind of respect for others, but also reflects a person's self-confidence and sincerity.
Second, praise can be said to the face, and negative judgment should be suppressed
When a child goes to a relative's or friend's house, it is sometimes easy to say things like, "Your home is so small," "Your toys are not as good as mine."
Maybe the child itself has no malice, but parents need to emphasize to their children at ordinary times:
It is very impolite to laugh at the shortcomings of others and say that others are not good, which will make others feel embarrassed and sad, and cannot be kept shut.
Third, ask for help to say "please", and be favored and say "thank you"
One mother complained that she warmly welcomed her son's classmates to dinner at home and then drove the children home one by one.
However, some of the children in this group got off the car and ran away, without even saying "thank you aunt", she felt that something was not in her heart.
I have also seen many children, who shake their cups when they are thirsty and signal adults to help him pour water.
After receiving the gift, I directly opened it and did not express my gratitude, which made people feel very uncomfortable.
This is not necessarily the child really ignorant, it is likely that the parents did not remind the child in time to pay attention to, should go to say polite language.
Everything is a habit of nature, as parents, we still have to start from small things and supervise in time.
Fourth, it is okay to say auspicious words, but do not ask for red envelopes
A friend said that when he returned to his hometown last year, a group of children shouted "Wishing you prosperity, bring the red envelope" while throwing at him, and the things in his pockets were turned over, and finally each person sent 100 before being let go.
Friends of their own children have a good sense of proportion, never take the initiative to ask for red envelopes, to give children red envelopes, children will always look at their parents first, until the parents agree, the child will take the red envelope with both hands and then thank you.
In the New Year, it is normal for children to want a little red envelope, but parents should still tell their children that it is impolite to take the initiative to ask for red envelopes.
Fifth, do not interject, do not interrupt others' conversations
Children also have knowledge and desire to express, sometimes we adults chat, maybe a topic he just knows a little, will eagerly want to participate, will interrupt the adult chat.
We need to tell our children that we need to learn to wait for others to finish speaking.
On the occasion of the Spring Festival, parents can agree with their children to "secret code", and have to do the secret code in advance instead of directly inserting into other people's conversations.
02
The rules of the meal
At the dinner table, it is a test of a person's upbringing.
Writer Lin Qingxuan said in "Looking at People's Personality from Food":
"Man always chooses his own preferences, and this preference is often very close to the character and essence of the person, so a person's diet can be seen in his personality."
A person's performance at the table hides the character, and those who always grab the dish do not necessarily know how to care about others in life.
For children, eating can also best reflect the parents' usual education.
Different children have different "eating phases", and some children see the dishes they like exclusively;
Some children drink soup and snort;
Some children sit without sitting, run around without eating, shouting and shouting...
I once went to a friend's house as a guest, and when I was about to finish eating, my friend's child put down the dishes and chopsticks and said to everyone:
"Uncle and aunt, I'm full, you eat slowly."
Just such a sentence was exaggerated by the adults at the table for a long time.
Don't look at the small table, it can clearly reflect a child's tutoring.
First, wait for everyone to eat together
Children are more likely to be hungry than we adults, see good food, and have a harder time controlling their appetite.
Many families will give their children some food separately and let the child eat it first.
If the child is really small, this is acceptable.
But if there are many people or eat formal dinners, and the child can already control the diet, try not to let the child be special.
The old rule of Chinese is that the elderly are the first, the children are the juniors, and it is correct to wait for the elders to move the chopsticks first and then start eating.
Second, do not knock on the bowl, no leftovers
When you go to someone else's house, knocking on the rice bowl is urging the host to serve food. Many people think this is unlucky.
The amount of food for children is different from that of adults, it is best to give children less food, not enough to add, do not let children have leftovers.
Third, eat without making a sound
Unless it is a child who cannot eat on his own, parents should pay attention to their children's table manners.
Making noises from eating and chewing food in the mouth is not only a very rude behavior, but also easy to choke and choke on the child.
Similar rules include:
Don't flip around on the plate in order to pick your favorite dish, and don't dominate a dish;
Chopsticks do not clip vegetables when there is food on them;
If you want to leave the table after eating first, you can put down the dishes and chopsticks and take the initiative to say: I am full, everyone eats slowly;
……
03
The rules of being a guest
What are you most afraid of in the New Year?
Some people say: I am most afraid of bear children coming to our house.
They can resist the seven aunts and eight mothers-in-law, but they can't deal with the bear children.
These little bullies come to the house, jump around on the couch, throw their snacks aside halfway through, rummag around, see what they want, and the destructive power is extremely strong.
The most desperate thing is that the big New Year can not drive people away, except to keep smiling, you have no choice.
Children without rules are always unpopular.
We can't manage other people's children, but we can educate our own children and tell them the right etiquette.
First, enter the door and arrange your shoes
Lead the child to someone else's house as a guest, after entering the door, parents should guide the child to take the initiative to arrange the shoes after saying hello.
Second, without permission, do not move other people's things
One of the most troublesome children is to go to other people's homes as guests, rummaging through other people's drawers and moving other people's belongings.
Curiosity every child has, unfamiliar environment, can most stimulate the child's desire to explore, and the child itself is prone to excess energy.
Parents can understand this, but don't indulge it.
Be sure to repeatedly emphasize with the child that other people's things cannot be touched without the consent of the owner, otherwise the child will lose his sense of boundaries and will cause him to be more difficult to restrain in the future.
Don't run around in other people's homes and talk loudly
Children play a lot of times, especially when the other party has a child of his age in the family, playing hide-and-seek or catch-and-shoot games, it is simply not too happy.
Parents remember to tell their children that being too noisy during the visit is disrespectful to the host and should be restrained.
Fourth, when you see something you like, don't ask for it
When you take your children out during the New Year, you will definitely see some decorations or toys that are not available at home.
Children's hearts are relatively straight, and it is often easy to fall in love with what they like, and even want to take it home.
At this time, the owner may be very embarrassed: agree, his children have no fun; disagree, and appear very angry.
Therefore, tell the child in advance that unless the owner sincerely gives, do not take away other people's children's toys or items.
In addition:
Others sincerely treat you to eat, if you don't like it, you can say "I am full", you must not say "it is difficult to eat";
Don't open the snacks that you don't want to eat and don't like to eat, and let people say please when you help you get something;
Wait, such rules, before visiting the child should be informed in advance, parents know how to guide, the child will become a popular small guest, not to attract suspicion.
04
The rules of hospitality
China is a hospitable country, and it is also very particular about hospitality, especially in the New Year, and every household is warm to entertain guests.
There are children in the family, and adults need to communicate with their children in advance about hospitality methods.
Relatives and friends came, and many parents, regardless of whether their children were willing or not, urged their children to come out to meet and greet, "forced to open.".
Some children are timid and introverted, often nervous and uneasy when they see guests, and once they behave badly, they will be criticized by their parents.
In fact, whether it is hospitality or guests, sincerity is always the most important.
Regardless of the child's personality, whether it is introverted or extroverted, when treating guests, parents guide the main and encourage as a supplement.
First of all, on the issue of greeting, you don't have to ask all children to greet and say hello warmly and generously, you can discuss some ways to say hello with your child, such as smiling, nodding, hugging, shaking hands...
The most important thing is not to give the child too much pressure, adults show the child more, what kind of attitude you use to others, the child will slowly be subtly affected.
In entertaining guests, first discuss with the child what hospitality tasks need to be responsible for, such as pouring tea, taking fruit plates, washing fruits, and encouraging children when they actively entertain guests.
When guests leave, they may wish to ask their children to take them to the door to say goodbye.
Compared with the past, the rules of the New Year are now much less, and there are fewer and fewer people who understand the old rules.
However, for children, basic rules are still very important.
These seemingly unimportant details reflect his tutoring, character and cultivation all the time.
Parents now silently decide whether their children can become a generous, decent, respected and liked person in the future.
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