1. The brother-in-law's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, and the daughter-in-law sold my Langyi and helped the brother-in-law repay the money. After I didn't have a car, I had to take the subway to work every day. Today

1. The brother-in-law's Alipay flower shell owed 120,000 yuan, and my daughter-in-law sold my Langyi to help my brother-in-law repay the money. After I didn't have a car, I had to take the subway to work every day. When I was riding the subway today, I suddenly felt my mobile phone vibrating, and I answered it with headphones, and it was my wife who called. As soon as I connected my wife, I was asked why I rolled up the lower part of the toothpaste tube, causing her to not find toothpaste for half a day. After I listened, I said lightly: Good squeeze! A girl in front of me looked at me and said grumpily: No matter how you squeeze, you can't step on my feet...

2. When I was taking a nap, I suddenly received a WeChat transfer of 10,000 yuan from a female colleague, and with a ding-dong sound, I woke me up from my sleep. I was about to go back to sleep, when the female colleague's phone call came again, and after I connected it, I heard her say anxiously: "The money has been received, right?" I said yes and hung up the phone. Before the phone could be put down, she called again: "I'll send you a card number, and you transfer the money to my card!" "I still don't understand what this situation is...?"

3. There is a kind of pharmacy downstairs, the pharmacy will often put a scale at the door for customers to use, the wife is one of them and likes to wrap the dog every time. Today I took my wife out to dinner, and when I came back, she walked on the scale with her dog in her bag. After a pause, the wife's surname screamed: Thin, I went on a business trip and became thinner. I really couldn't look at it anymore and said: Wife, it's a thin dog, because you've been on a business trip for a few days, and I've eaten instant noodles myself, and I haven't fed it much.

4. Feeling that the salary of the Great Wall Group was too low, he resigned and went to Jingdong to deliver the courier. After a morning of work today, I was very hungry and went to a snack bar to eat. As soon as I walked into the store, I saw the foodie crazy past and kicked a customer out with his ears twisted! I was startled, thinking that this place is also too dangerous, this is not knowing when there will be a rhythm of innocence! But suddenly the style of painting changed, and the customer actually began to beg for forgiveness from his wife. Now I finally understood, it was so!

5. The first time I went to my girlfriend's house, my father-in-law left me at home for the night, which was very nervous. Just when I was about to go to sleep, I called out my girlfriend's nickname: Blackfish, and as a result, my sister-in-law and mother-in-law were stunned, and then the old man drove me away with a big stick.

6. It was almost time for school to leave, and the class teacher called the penultimate class to the office. Then he took out a painkiller and said, "Eat it quickly." Xue Scum said incomprehensibly: "I don't have pain in my body, why should I take painkillers?" Teacher: "It will hurt later, I have already told your father the news that you have finished first in the penultimate exam!" ”?

7. The mother-in-law worked as a nurse in the central hospital before retiring, and now has a pension of 45,000 yuan per month. She is idle at home, she likes to watch some American dramas, but she can't understand English. She paid 1,000 yuan and entered a group that "insisted on learning English for thirty days and watching American dramas without subtitles". The mother-in-law studied hard for thirty days, and the group leader sent her a lot of American dramas, telling her that she could watch American dramas without subtitles. The mother-in-law was particularly happy and could not wait to open the American drama, and sure enough, she could understand it without subtitles. Because the voiceover turned out to be Chinese, and it was the voice of the group owner from beginning to end!

8. In ancient times, there were a few idle who went to dinner, did not bring money with them, but specially picked expensive food, as long as the boss asked for money, said it was too expensive, and then found things, fought, and then did not give money. After eating chicken, duck and fish meat, ask the boss how much, a penny, ah! So cheap, cheap then give money ah, a few look at me, I look at you, a piece of money is really not expensive, this fight can not be done, and then this story passed out, called a piece of money is difficult to defeat the hero. "

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #