I often hear people say: "The old man is stupid, the old man is the second fine", and if you think about it carefully, this sentence actually makes sense. Take my child:
When I helped them to write homework and lose their temper, the eldest was still indifferent and continued to rub, while the second eldest ran to the house with interest and took out the textbook and pretended to be well-behaved.
When I was in a bad mood, the boss ignored and listened, and continued to make a fuss, while the second brother immediately came over and gave a warm hug.
Sometimes even I wonder why the gap is so big when the same mother is born?
Experiments have proved that:
Birth order can have an impact on a child's personality, and differences in social experience can also lead to different attitudes towards life and different ways of coping with things.
The second brother does know more about "observing the color" than the boss, and the reason for this difference is not because the second brother's IQ is higher, but by the following two reasons:
The nurturing environment is different
When the eldest was born, the parents had to do everything themselves, thus summing up a lot of parenting experience, and when it came to the second eldest, many things parents could already handle easily. There is no need to be cautious everywhere.
The boss "raises according to the book", spends more mental effort, but seems to be born with the attribute of "angry person", to be strong, stupid, love to drill the tip of the horn, always provoke you to be angry.
The second is different, the relaxed growth environment, so that he does not have to bear too high expectations, there is no excessive self-requirements, so more relaxed, easy-going.
Unlike his brother's "domineering", the second brother learned the skill of "surviving in the cracks" from a young age, so his performance will be better.
For example, when two children want a toy, the eldest usually grinds patience with the parents in a noisy way, while the second child will first observe the parents' expressions, and then sell cuteness and coax you to take out your wallet.
Therefore, the boss is stupid, stupid in the brain will not turn, always go straight; the second fine, the fine in the know how to use the brain, will be flexible and flexible.
The eldest set an example, and the second learned quickly
After a child becomes an older brother or sister, on the surface it seems to have an extra layer of identity, but in fact, it also has an extra power of example.
And when the younger brothers and sisters are born, they have the eldest to accompany themselves, set an example for themselves, and many things are not even taught by their parents themselves, and they are naturally learned.
With younger siblings, the old age becomes more likely to be recognized by their parents, so they become stronger and have stronger self-esteem.
For example, when two children grab a toy, the eldest will always show a momentum of not accepting defeat, more likely to be grumpy and lose his temper, while the second child will not choose to directly compare with his brother, but first please his parents and act opportunistically.
In addition, the second brother wrote down the pits that the boss stepped on through the usual ear and eye, such as understanding the bottom line of his parents and mothers, knowing how to judge the situation, timely sprinkling a petite and selling a cute, and easily enveloping the hearts of parents.
As a parent, you must accept the differences between the two children, such as the eldest Geng Zhi needs more patience, and the second brother needs more guidance.