They feel like they're out of love. But just, they felt.
But in reality, there is only 50% love, and the other 50% is control.
Excessive control, in the eyes of psychology, is actually a manifestation of paranoid personality.
People with paranoid personalities are very sensitive, and they are full of resentment for the hurt and humiliation they have been subjected to.
Their thinking is relatively stiff, suspicious, narrow-minded, and they are easily anxious about the success of others, and even blame others in public.
I've seen a lot of parents, in places like schools or amusement parks, yelling out loud at their children, which is a sign of paranoia.
Paranoid personalities cannot get along with their families at home, nor can they get along well with friends and colleagues outside, which can easily cause people to fear psychology and thus affect interpersonal relationships.
I find that they are easy to start from their own feelings, have a lot of subjective bias, and only believe in their own choices.
Most of the clients I approached were not just paranoid, but even more psychological.
However, almost all of them are unaware of their problems, deny their problems, and blame them on "disobedient" children.
In addition, I have also found that parents are bent on wanting their children to follow their planned path and not letting their children say negative views, which seems to be excessive control over their children, but in fact, they do not trust their children.
For what the child likes, the parents think that it is not OK; only what they approve of is good for the child, because in the eyes of the parents, the child is the child.
They don't yet have the experience and ability to identify the things that are really good for them, so they need to supervise their children.
Inadvertently, parents under the banner of "all for the good of the child", accidentally become the control of the child.
If you are a parent and want you to give your child more choices, you have to realize that the way you give can only be regarded as advice, and it depends on the child to adopt or not to adopt;
If you are a child with a strong controlling parent, please do not give up your own opinions, work hard to enrich yourself, shackles, you can rely on strength to break free. Also, don't forget that 50% of the love comes from your parents.
As the saying goes, "Good medicine is good for the sick, and good advice is good for the ear." ”
Regarding family parenting, if you have more insights, you can leave a message in the comment area to communicate~
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[Author of this article]: Director Li of Orangutan Village
[Original Statement]: Some of the content of the article is excerpted from the Network, if there is infringement, please contact the author to correct and delete.
[Column Introduction]:
"Orangutan Ball Has Something to Say" is a parent-child education column of the new media channel under "Orangutan Ball Village". We aim to help more families improve their parent-child relationship and let the flowers of the motherland have a good childhood.
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