1. Female colleagues went to withdraw money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitoring! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received the head of the legal department of the bank

1. The female colleague went to withdraw the money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitor! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that I had gone to the court to sue him! The roommate scornfully said: "I just passed the judicial examination this year, I didn't take the money, and I have no obligation to keep it for you!" The supervisor was silent for a moment: "What you took away is the ten thousand of our bank, and the ten thousand that remains is yours." ”

2. Because of irregular diet, I accidentally developed kidney stones and took leave to recuperate at home. Today the eldest nephew came to ask me: Uncle, what is wrong with you? I said: Uncle has kidney stones. The nephew asked: What are kidney stones? I thought about it for a while and said: When I pee, small stones will come out. The nephew is very thoughtful to remind: then you remember to split your legs a little bigger in the future, don't let the small stones hit your feet...

3. Today's long-lost elementary school students got together, they haven't seen each other for many years, we unconsciously went home at two or three o'clock in the morning, when a rich second generation in our class wanted to drive me. I humbly gave in: No need to send, we look safe. I thought my classmates would definitely compliment me and say: You are so beautiful, I am not at ease. Who knew that this man was really real, and said slowly: This is not night, I can't see my face clearly. I shouted angrily: Can't I take my phone and walk in my face? "

4. When you come home from work and are too tired to do so, give your son 20 yuan to buy a bottle of wine downstairs. The son said: "There is not enough money, and the errands cost 10 yuan!" I said, "This is also too expensive, a bottle of wine for more than ten dollars, you want me ten yuan, too unreasonable!" The son smiled, and Yu Yu said: "There is a competitive market to talk about the price, do you say that you still have one more son to help you buy wine?" I have a monopoly in this industry! "Me: ...

5. When I was in college, my tutor was a widow, and we had a very unusual relationship. Every night after studying the project, I would ride my bicycle home with the female teacher. When she got home in the evening, after the female teacher got out of the car, she said with a shy face: "Can the back seat of your car belong only to me in the future?" After blushing and lowering my head, I was stunned for a moment, then gritted my teeth and said, "No problem, I'll break it to you when I go back today..."

6. The abbot heard that a blind man was very accurate in touching the bones, so he took his thirty-year-old sister-in-law who was not yet married to touch the bones and calculate the marriage of the sister-in-law. The blind man touched the little sister-in-law a few times and said: The bone is light and wears fur, the rich and the rich can't run, your girl's bones are so light, you can definitely find a good family. Abbot: But... Blind Man: Nothing, I never missed touching my bones. Abbot: But you just touched my dog!

7. When I went to take the subway, I saw a fashionably dressed aunt and a daughter who had been praising her. The returnee elite, with an annual salary of one million, is also married to the son of a wealthy businessman. It's full of envy and jealousy! I couldn't help but ask my aunt: "Auntie, that minimum guarantee seems to have been issued on the 15th, right?" The aunt said: "You are wrong, it has been changed to the 10th before the distribution!" ”

8. The daughter-in-law is pregnant, do not dare to wear makeup, yesterday went to the wedding of relatives, the daughter-in-law took a bite out of it, feeling radiant and beautiful. I said you have become beautiful, how to get it, she impatiently said choose eyebrows. I said no, you usually choose, why doesn't this work. My daughter-in-law finally got angry and told me word for word, I shaved my beard! I......

9. Since he paid back 1,000 yuan to his brother, he regarded me as a good brother. During the college entrance examination, I was assigned to an examination room and the front and back tables. Fifteen minutes before the turnaround time, my roll was still blank. I was at a loss when the bully suddenly stuffed me with a note. I was very excited, thinking that this brother I had made up my mind! After the trembling, it opened, and it was written impressively: Let's go drink something after the test?

10. After I lost more than a dozen houses in the demolition of my hometown, the girls in the company all rushed to invite me to dinner. I was also old enough to start a family, so I carefully agreed to the non-division of several beautiful women. Whether unmarried or married, I wanted to be my girlfriend, but I refused. I am very resistant to the situation of women chasing men for my money! The most infuriating thing is that the company cleaning aunt actually asked me to dinner. Originally I didn't want to go, but when I found out that she was driving Maybach to work, I agreed, but I certainly wouldn't be involved with her! Fortunately, she was for her daughter to protect the media, the door was right, I half pushed and half in place from her, became her son-in-law. Now there are many cars and rooms, life is boring, boring.

11. When playing the game, I met a god player who had recharged more than 2 million yuan. After a few conversations with her, I knew she was a girl, and that time I asked her out to meet. She brought a man and I took them to a restaurant where the order was expensive. Halfway through the meal, I went to the toilet, came out and went to the counter and ordered them two bottles of Maotai. Finally I asked for a soft China home, after arriving home, the mobile phone actually had 54 missed calls, you say that the girl is not interested in me?

12. Since graduating from Shandong University, I have been in touch with my classmates in the WeChat group. That night, the class president organized a class reunion, I took my 5-year-old son to attend, and the class flower that I had a crush on for a long time also came. To my shock, Banhua's daughter was in the sixth grade. During the banquet, Ben Hua and I each left our mobile phone numbers. On the way home, I found that Ban hua's number had been saved one less. So I blamed myself and said: Alas, I always lose everything I do, and I can save one less number. After the son heard it, he comforted: Dad, it doesn't matter, I want her daughter's qq number, I have time to help you ask! #Funny Moment ##Funny Awards# #年度搞笑名场面 #