Are men willing to be in love all the time without getting married?

In the current society, the pace of life is getting faster and faster, the material is more and more abundant, fast food love is becoming more and more common, in the process of falling in love, girls often hope that boys have the patience to pursue girls, girls enjoy the feeling of being chased, sweet love feeling. And in this process, are you ignoring some things, is it that boys are often trying to find ways to please girls, pay money and time to pursue girls, women enjoy the sweetness of love, but do men experience the sweet feeling of love??? Aren't love all about giving to each other??? There was never a supposed reason, what caused the situation today, my thoughts are already below.

I don't know if women really don't want to get married, but the trend toward men not wanting to get married is clear.

Men who don't want to get married

According to statistics, the sex ratio of most cities is male, for example, the male-female ratio in Shenzhen is as high as 122:100, while Dongguan is as high as 130:100 (not the sex ratio of the birth population, but the sex ratio of the total population of the entire city).

The total sex of the city is more male and less female than in each city, and it is theoretically more difficult for men to get married, but strangely, in most of the city's marriage market (paid users of marriage and love platforms, users of urban blind dates, offline blind dates organized by various institutions, etc.), the starting point of the male-female ratio is 1:3, and in some places it is even as high as 1:8.

That is to say, in the real marriage market, sometimes every 8 women want to get married at the same time, there is only one man to "choose".

You may think that because men in first-tier cities can't afford to buy a house, so they retreat to second-, third- and fourth-tier cities to get married, then you are wrong.

Because from the perspective of the marriage market in first-tier cities to fourth-tier cities, it shows the characteristics of more women and fewer men. The CEO of Century Jiayuan once replied to netizens in Snowball: The ratio of men and women registered by offline institutions is 15:85, which is a national data. In the real marriage market, men are the ones who practice "no marriage farts" group.

East Asian men don't want to get married

Men's reluctance to marry is not a phenomenon unique to China.

In the 1980s, when Japan's economy was booming and consumerism and feminist ideas were on the rise, Japanese women could have 4 boyfriends: runners, payers, gift-givers, and future marriages.

At that time, women could only go to high-end restaurants to eat, send gifts to luxury brands, and when getting married, they should buy a house and a car, and go abroad for their honeymoon.

At that time, Japanese men had a strong desire to marry, so they silently accepted all this.

That all changed as the Plaza Accord brought about Japan's lost 20 years.

According to a 2016 questionnaire by the AkiraJida Institute for Life and Welfare in Japan, only 38.7% of men want to marry, compared with 59% of women.

Fast forward to January 2021, and NHK released an updated survey on Japanese people's willingness to marry. The results showed that less than a third of people believe that "marriage is a matter of course", while 68% feel that "it is okay not to marry", and the 30-something age group has the highest proportion of people who accept lifelong non-marriage, reaching 88%, setting a record high in 25 years

In this process, the marriage demands of Japanese women have been simplified from three highs (high education, high income, and tall people) to two sentences: have a job, no domestic violence.

Men's marriage demands are reduced to one sentence: do not want to get married.

South Korea, which followed, experienced almost the same development process as Japan, but became more radical in the issue of marriage, Korean men did not choose to lie flat and not get married like Japanese men, but launched a fierce struggle with feminists, Korean men collectively opposed to falling in love, opposing marriage, and demanding that the entire society achieve absolute equality between men and women, degenerating into a real jungle society.

The history of unmarriedism in the three East Asian countries

From a strong willingness to marry to a desire not to get married, the three East Asian countries (China, Japan, and South Korea) have experienced exactly the same development process, without deviation. Booming economy:

The economy of the whole country takes off, everyone has a job, everyone can make money, and people consume wildly; consumerism prevails: binding consumerism with marital behavior, and squeezing men's spending power through women; the rise of feminism: women get rid of male dependence economically, form independent thought, and regard the right to consume as feminism, further suppressing men;

Economic downturn: insufficient employment, declining male incomes, and widespread unemployment of women; men are not married: men have experienced the critical blow of feminism and consumerism, and they are afraid of marriage and form the concept of non-marriage; marriage rates and fertility rates are declining: the advent of a low-birthrate and aging society, a low-desire society that leads to an economy that cannot rebound, facing social security and economic crisis.

Japan has already entered the end of Phase 6, South Korea is currently at the end of Phase 5, and China has just entered Phase 4 and Phase 5. And China is rolling out a series of policies to usher in Phase 6. In the evolution of marriage culture, all three East Asian countries have made the same mistake: binding consumerism in marriage.

Once upon a time, there was a so-called mother-in-law economy in society, that is, the mother-in-law believed that marriage must have a car, a house and a ticket, in order to have a wife and children. Can the mother-in-law herself really shape the whole society's view of marriage? Of course not. Stimulating consumption is a topic that cannot be left unavoidable in the process of economic development in every country, if everyone earns money and saves it, funds cannot flow and the economy cannot develop.

If you want people to increase consumption, you must shape a corresponding consumption concept for the public: design a reason to buy goods. For example, the Real Estate Chamber of Commerce designed the concept of a marriage house for the mother-in-law, emphasizing that without a marriage house, you cannot marry a daughter, which will promote the consumption of real estate.

Real estate chambers of commerce instill the concept of "marriage room" to the public through various means such as TV dramas, radio, magazines and newspapers, and sometimes even directly advertise. I also introduced the brainwashing of consumerism in previous articles: Why divorce one: brainwashed women Now that you think about it, the consumption concept of "marriage must have a house and a car" is spontaneously formed or artificially created by mother-in-law everywhere?

The latter, of course. After bundling the house, you can also bundle cars, home appliances, bags, lipstick, mobile phones... In this way, all walks of life rose up, and later tied up the bride price and three gold mouth change fees, etc., making the marriage very heavy. "People who are willing to spend money for you may not love you, but people who are not willing to spend money for you must not love you", "It is really stingy to come to such a low-end restaurant on a date", "Life needs a sense of ceremony"...

All kinds of brands have made up all kinds of words. Sexual bondage is a very important influencing factor in the culture of marriage and love. The United States has experienced the trend of sexual liberation for a long time, and sex outside of marriage is very common.

As early as 1991, the average age of first sexual intercourse for American men was 15.7 years old (in line with the normal age of human sexual development), sex is not a very rare thing, so men will not become licking dogs, nor will they be easily kidnapped by consumerism. However, the marriage and love cultures of the three East Asian countries are more traditional, especially in China, sexual behavior and marriage are deeply bound (we even had the crime of "illegal cohabitation" in the early days, and sex outside of marriage is illegal).

And because of the prohibition of early love, the average age of first sexual activity in Chinese is 24 years old, and young people generally have strong sexual repression. Sex is the most basic, intense, and most difficult genetic desire of human beings, so that people can only get marriage and sex after consumption, which can indeed stimulate consumption very effectively. But this method of stimulating consumption has had serious side effects in all three East Asian countries. Consumerism is mainly aimed at women, and the media and capital, in the process of inducing women and morality to kidnap men to consume, will give birth to the wrong feminist idea: men are women's appendages and cash machines.

Consumerism and feminism will make men have a very poor experience of marriage and love life, once they encounter an economic downturn, men will immediately lie flat and protect themselves, and even hate marriage, resulting in the stagnation of marriage and fertility in the entire society. People have to work in order to eat enough, which is very understandable, but people in order to meet sexual needs to bear the painful consumption process, and even to live a low-pitched, swallowing dog licking life, is an unsustainable marriage experience, once men wake up, they will flee the marriage market and look for other marriage substitutes.

Bundling consumption into marriage seems to pit men, but in fact it pits women, because after the balance of marriage is broken, both parties lose the protection that marriage brings to each other. Consumerism's critical impact on marriage Consumerism and feminism have a particularly large impact on men's thinking.

Once upon a time, we loved someone and even wanted to marry a person is a very free and easy thing, each other tacit happiness is to fight together, couples will rush to pay for each other, both sides are easy to enter a state of mutual satisfaction.

When I read books, giving expensive gifts to please the other party will even be regarded as "cheesy" and "insincere". But I think today's men are very ignorant, the whole society is preaching that the degree of love for a person is directly linked to how much money is spent, your love for the girl is not your decision, it is the money that decides, men spend less money in the process of interacting with women, and even will be considered liars and scum. Further, without a house, a car and a bride price, there is no need to talk about marriage, and there are no qualifications for blind dates.

When women mistakenly regard the right to consume as a feminist right, and take the unilateral payment of men as a matter of course, love becomes undesirable. The unfair mechanism of any transaction field will inevitably lead to the withdrawal of one of the parties, and the same is true in the field of marriage and love, consumerism and feminism are essentially an unfair exchange of values, from Japan to South Korea, men who have experienced consumerism and feminism have finally formed the idea of not marrying, this objective law is irreversible.

Single society irreversible From the data, the willingness to marry across the country, including rural men, is declining. In fact, the country does not want to see the end of everyone not getting married and not having children, because the living people always need to solve the problem of old-age care. Therefore, the state still has a little action, such as reducing household consumption costs through policies such as double reduction, cracking down on monopolies and high-profit industries, and tilting some social welfare (such as house purchases, tax incentives, etc.) to families with children.

The issue of the bride price is hotly contested online, but in the future, the official may characterize the bride price as a "feudal bad habit" through public opinion, and eliminate the phenomenon of the bride price as much as possible. In short, it is necessary to reduce the cost of marriage from all aspects and try to re-enhance men's willingness to marry. My personal judgment is: it doesn't work much. Because there are other very important factors that hinder men from marrying, such as property security.

Many people think that the new marriage rules of the Civil Code will dissuade women, but in fact men are more afraid of the new marriage rules because the divorce rate is getting higher and higher, and the new policy puts men at risk of more property being divided when they divorce. Love is actually a very low threshold, you can love if you want, but it is too difficult to make money.

Money is the most important resource for survival, the economic downturn will make people very realistic, feminism has made men know that money is important, so men are increasingly reluctant to risk their property in exchange for fragile love and marriage, and the richer men are, the more reluctant they are to get married.

Men want to protect their property, while women want to get more out of marriage, and although both types of knowledge and skills are popularized in my knowledge planet, it has to be said that these two demands are inherently contradictory.

Judging from the experience of Europe, the United States, Japan and South Korea, the trend of not getting married cannot be reversed, and the last thing the country can do is to encourage single birth. This is the European route: men do not marry, women give birth. Last year's low-key non-marital birth policy document is the European route.

Individual coping strategies

Marriage is essentially a cooperative economy, gender antagonism is not a strategy to maximize interests, and men and women will certainly get greater benefits than confrontation, which is a very simple truth.

But on the other hand, no one can change the course of history, the development process of marriage and love culture in China, Japan and South Korea is exactly the same, and the ending can only be the same: entering a single society.

I hope you are mentally prepared that being single is an expensive way to live.

Since you can't change the world, it is better to formulate a strategy that is beneficial to you as soon as possible.