A few days ago, I chatted with my sister and mentioned that my nephew is especially popular with children in kindergartens, and there are many children with good relations.
I think of another situation I encountered in a cram school before: one of the children played by himself for a long time.
After understanding, I found that it turned out that she had some habits that were different from other children, such as getting angry with her classmates or complaining to her parents, and her parents would come to the teacher; or looking for a teacher to complain; or she was too strong, did not like others to touch her own things, and did not know how to share.
Later, the teacher of the tuition institution communicated with the parents of the children and learned that the parents were not uneducated, but the children were hearing about what the parents usually did. In other words, the behavior of parents deeply affects children.
In fact, the reason why many children do not have good friends is that there is a problem with "social". Social interaction is often linked to lifestyle habits.
Cultivating children's "concept of friendship"
The "concept of friendship" also has an age distinction. For example, at the age of 3-6, children's social concepts are very shallow, and they hardly understand what a good friend is. In their world, whoever treats me well, I play with whomever I want.
Children in the 3-6 age group are usually more active, so they will take the initiative to get close to others, and this age group is a good time to cultivate "sharing ideas".
At the age of 7, children begin to know that they are not interesting to play, at this time they will use a little "careful machine" to let other children play with themselves, such as wearing beautiful clothes, giving other children good food and so on.
After the age of 9, the mind gradually matured, and the children began to distinguish which children I liked more, and began to play in groups.
After the age of 12, children's social skills are basically formed, they will begin to choose their own suitable group, if the personality is relatively strong at this time, or the personality is too soft, it is easy to "play by themselves" situation.
Avoid touching the "social no-go zone"
A. Cultivate children's awareness of independent thinking
Why does this allow you to exercise your child's social skills? Many times, parents will worry about their children's safety, so tell their children not to play with him, or when there is a problem with children playing with their children, parents will be very anxious to solve them.
In fact, this will hinder the child's ability to judge, as well as the ability to think independently. In fact, many parents will have a situation of "underestimating the child" and will automatically think that the child cannot solve it. In fact, in many small things, the appropriate relaxation of parents can help children develop self-judgment.
B. Help children recognize themselves
Each child is an independent individual, and many parents tell their children to make more friends for later development. In fact, this truth is too social, even in the adult world, this "unspoken rule" does not work.
The so-called "people are divided into groups", true friends can help themselves to progress. Therefore, it is also necessary to help the child distinguish his own personality and guide the child to play with his favorite friends, which is really helpful for his future.
Doing this makes it easy to cultivate a social outlook
The right and good social concept needs to be cultivated subtly.
A. Help children improve their personality defects
Parents see their children as treasures, and some parents can hardly see the shortcomings of their children and appear to be too doting. As everyone knows, it is the parents who know their children best.
Everyone is not perfect, so finding character flaws when the child is young and helping the child modify the character flaw is helpful in developing social skills.
For example, some children may not like to share their favorite things with other children because of their too strong personality, which means that the child's personality is too strong, it belongs to the existence of character defects, parents can start from the simplest, such as helping children understand the benefits of sharing.
B. The child is not confident
Manifestations of lack of self-confidence often lead to "acting alone" situations in children, such as not loving to talk, blindly obeying others, and not being able to correctly distinguish between right and wrong. When parents find that their children have such a situation, they should pay attention to it.
How to cultivate children's self-confidence? First of all, parents try not to always deny what their children do, try to educate in the form of encouragement, even if the children do not do well, do not criticize.
Secondly, parents should not be too protective of their children, and try to let their children try things that he likes. In addition, when the child has too many problems, parents try not to replace the child to do anything, let the child cultivate the habit of using his own brain, and let the child experience the joy brought by the "sense of achievement".
C. Often contact with friends
When the child grows to a certain age stage, he will have a deeper awareness of memory, will remember many bad and happy things, at this time, if the child mentions his former friends, parents can encourage the child to contact each other.
It can not only help children cultivate the concept of "maintaining friendship", but also tell children the meaning of persistence.
D. Be calm when encountering problems, and try not to replace them as much as possible
Problems are common when children play with each other, especially when children are young, and many parents will go to school or kindergarten every three to five minutes, for the same reason: who the child is fighting with.
If the situation is not serious at this time, parents try to guide their children to solve it on their own, which will not only promote friendship, but also solve the problem.
An old saying goes: Love your neighbor as yourself. Helping children develop self-confidence, love and patience can not only enable children to establish a correct social outlook, but also help children maintain a positive and optimistic attitude on the road to adulthood.