Text/Zixi
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In life, most of the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law conflicts are actually "obstructed" by the same man they love together. The mother-in-law is a person who comes over, and she will not understand the "difficulty" of being a daughter-in-law, and the daughter-in-law is not all "tigress", and marrying into the in-laws is to find someone to "start a war".
That is to say, the vast majority of mothers-in-law are actually good mothers-in-law, or have the potential to transform into good mothers-in-law. The vast majority of daughters-in-law are also good daughters-in-law, but a man who accidentally marries a man who "fails" in mathematics always makes a mistake in the "abacus" related to family happiness, and pushes his mother into the circle of "evil mother-in-law" with his own hands, forcing the virtuous wife to become a "shrew" to protect herself.
When Sun Shujuan married Song Xiaobo, she was interested in Song Xiaobo's ambition and filial piety. In her feelings for Song Xiaobo, in addition to love, there is also appreciation. Admire his good habit of living a thrifty life and appreciate his sense of responsibility to the family.
However, her "nightmare" began from the year her daughter was born, the good man she once thought was worth cherishing for a lifetime, but in the handling of family relations, because the eccentricity was too obvious and bottomless, her heart was colder than the cold dynasty, so that she gradually questioned whether the affection for the first life was given to the wrong person more than once.
Sun Shujuan's mother-in-law lives alone in the countryside all year round, and the family has a small vegetable garden and raises a few chickens. When Sun Shujuan first went to her in-laws' house to recognize her, her mother-in-law took her hand and said to her very intimately: "Good girl, thank you for not abandoning my son." You see that I am very strong, and the old sisters of the neighbors are also getting along very well, so you can rest assured that in the future I will not interfere in the small life of your little two in the city, as long as you live a good life with my son, than let me live in the building. ”
Song Xiaobo also said that her mother is very reasonable, she can not leave the countryside, as long as the New Year holiday can go back to see her after marriage, there is no need to stay in the countryside for the New Year.
Sun Shujuan feels that she is very happy, not only met a good husband, but also a reasonable and good mother-in-law. Therefore, in order to understand the difficulty of raising Song Xiaobo alone, not only did she not ask her in-laws to pay a dowry, but also used the welfare room assigned to her by the unit as a marriage room. Moreover, for the sake of family harmony, she also offered to go to her in-laws' house for a year and her mother's house for a year during the New Year.
In this way, the two people's little life after marriage is not bad. Song Xiaobo was also very happy that the city girl from this high-level intellectual family he married was so sensible.
Later, when their daughter was born, Song Xiaobo took his mother from the countryside to serve the confinement and watch the children. Sun Shujuan was afraid of the inconvenience of her mother-in-law's unfamiliar life in the city, and she also specially invited a nanny to let the nanny take her mother-in-law out to familiarize herself with everything.
Although some of the living habits of the rural mother-in-law will always make Sun Shujuan feel uncomfortable, she has been trying to endure. Thinking, the mother-in-law waited for the confinement to leave, and it would be better to understand more.
However, until the daughters were in kindergarten, the mother-in-law still had no intention of leaving, but pointed at the nanny at home, like a "queen consort".
And the momentum that finally made the "mother-in-law relationship" go downhill was that the mother-in-law began to interfere with Sun Shujuan's spending money, not only blaming Sun Shujuan for buying too many clothes, even buying some vegetables from the supermarket for activities had to be counted down by the mother-in-law, thinking that she would not live a life, too lazy, let the nanny do the meal, and the dish did not know to go to the market to buy cheap...
"You still send your mother back to the countryside, live together for such a long time, sooner or later you have to live out of "revenge". Sun Shujuan herself did not remember that this was the first time she had talked to Song Xiaobo about this issue.
After waiting for the confinement, the mother-in-law said that when the children grew up a little, the children were one year old, and said that they would return to kindergarten, and as a result, they now said that they would wait for primary school and then return.
In fact, the quarrel between the two small families has already tended to a white-hot degree, and Song Xiaobo is still indifferent, taking Sun Shujuan's words as the wind, letting her mother dictate in her own small family, and fully controlling the right to speak and the decision-making power of major events and small things in the family.
"My mother is now accustomed to city life, and she has long been entrusted to her relatives in her hometown to sell the house in the countryside, yes, I admit, it was she who wanted to return to me and did not let me go back, wanted her to enjoy more happiness with me in the city, but now she herself does not want to go back, you say, what can I do? It was not easy for me to raise my mother as a father and a mother, and I had to be filial to her.
Besides, my mother is so good to you, and cooks for you and cleans up the house, don't you just say a few more words when you spend money indiscriminately, that's also for your own good, isn't it? How can you be so ignorant? I can't even listen to good words. Song Xiaobo frowned tightly and complained about Sun Shujuan.
Sun Shujuan's tears had already filled her cheeks at some point. Only she knew best that the housework was done by the nanny, and the same was true for the meals. And the loyal and rational mother-in-law in the past has long been "used to" becoming a "bad mother-in-law" who is "a set before people and a set behind". When Song Xiaobo went home to eat, she personally cooked and cooked two bowls of Song Xiaobo's favorite noodles; Song Xiaobo did not go home to eat, so she asked Sun Shujuan to make it for her, saying that the nanny did not meet her appetite.
Sun Shujuan, who was tired from work for a day, went home to be directed by her mother-in-law, and later, her mother-in-law also took it upon herself to dismiss the nanny, pushing all the housework to Sun Shujuan alone, and said that running the family is the responsibility of the wife, and asking the nanny is just to make herself lazy... This made Sun Shujuan really can't stand it.
Song Xiaobo did not believe Sun Shujuan's words at all, she did not believe that the "industrious" mother was the one who added chaos to their small family, but instead accused her daughter-in-law of not filial piety, ignorance, and lack of gratitude to her mother for the hard work of cooking for them with children.
It was not until Sun Shujuan took advantage of Song Xiaobo to accompany her mother-in-law back to the countryside to attend a relative's wedding that she was able to completely invite the "empress dowager" in the family away.
She first changed the lock on the door of the house, and then rented out the house, and Song Xiaobo and his mother could not enter the house when they returned.
"Surnamed Sun, you're not finished yet, are you?" What do you want to do? Song Xiaobo roared in disgust on the phone.
"My daughter and I live in my mother's house, and now the money is not easy to earn, so I will rent out the house, and I can also subsidize the family." Just a little sorry, the room is limited, there is no place for you two to live..." Sun Shujuan responded lightly to Song Xiaobo's angry questioning.
Filial piety to parents is a virtue, and at this point, Zixi has always been certain, but at the same time insists that the last thing a man should make is to transfer his filial piety obligations to his daughter-in-law.
I remember reading a passage on the Internet: "Your mother loves you instinctively, every old hen will love her own chicks, it is not a brain." Your wife not only has love and appreciation for you, but has a soldier died as a confidant? "A man is the most stupid thing to think of his wife's love for himself as something that doesn't care about returns.
If a man wants to be filial piety consistent, then he must love his wife more and handle the relationship between family members from the perspective of his wife, especially the relationship between the original family and his new small family, because your mother's quality of life in her later years requires the common care and intimate care of you and your wife to complete.
A truly intelligent man will understand: between the mother and the wife, he must be the one who threads the needle to achieve happiness, so in dealing with the right and wrong of the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, he will first find out whether his mother's goodness to his small family is for the happiness of the two little families or simply to help himself take charge of the family. Because, indeed, some mothers-in-law are the best at acting, in front of their sons are a good mother-in-law, as long as the son leaves, immediately change his face.
And those men who, in the name of filial piety, believe in their mothers unconditionally, are really a bit "stupid". Although "throwing the pot" will be very cool, the end after the pot is not necessarily what you can afford. Because once the feelings between husband and wife have cracked, it is impossible to repair them as before.
Therefore, as a man, you must understand "protecting your wife", not only when you are external, when facing the "contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law", you must also be domineering and "protect your wife", do not let yourself exceed the eccentricity of "degree", and chill the wife who shares honor and disgrace with herself in the second half of her life. In this way, there will be a woman who is willing to give a lifetime of deep affection to you, willing to work with you to do filial piety, jointly maintain the balance of the two families, and let the warmth and love stay. (Figure from the network, graphics and text independent)