Tell my children that I raise my children to prevent old age, is it moral kidnapping or love?

A single mother who grew up alone with three children took the whole family through the war and hardship. She said:

As a mother, you have to show weakness to your children and let them have a purpose in life, so that they can become a responsible person.

She is Salad · Imas, a Jewish descendant born in China. His father was a Jew who fled to Shanghai during World War II, and his mother was from the countryside of northern Jiangsu.

She had had three failed marriages, each of which left her with a child. At the beginning of the founding of China and Israel, she brought her three children to war-torn Israel, made and sold spring rolls with her children, and educated her children to become billionaires with a meager income and a simple family environment.

She said: "Chinese said 'raising children and preventing the elderly', I asked each of the children to give me a guarantee of old-age care. ”

She said: "What bothers me is the left-handed Omega and the right-handed Patek Philippe. ”

She also said: "The love that Chinese parents give their children is not too little, but too much! ”

Her words may not be in line with China's current mainstream values. Regarding the theory of hitting children, the live broadcast caused an uproar in the comment area. Her demand that the child be responsible for her pension was also considered by some viewers to be a "moral kidnapping" of the child. But it also gives us a different perspective on the blind spots in parenting.

01

Raising children and preventing old age

I want the children to give me a guarantee each

When I first brought my three children to Israel, the north of Israel was at war with Lebanon. I took my children to live in an air raid shelter, and they started life in Israel from the air raid shelter. Although the air raid shelter career is only six or seven days, it has honed the children.

It was difficult to carry the children alone, and I started making spring rolls. I divide the work for the children, using flour to beat the skin, cut the vegetables, and peel the skin, including myself. The three children and I shouldered the burden of life together, and we did not take a dime of relief money from the Israeli government to the new immigrants.

I was hesitant to go to the relief money, but in the end I still felt no. Although it is legally allowed, it is also a kind of wind bone that can be exercised by children when they are very young without taking it.

Later, through our spring rolls, life slowly became better, children should read books, should be soldiers.

One night before my eldest son became a soldier, I called them to a family meeting. I said that we are Chinese in our bones, Chinese have children to prevent aging, and I need each of you to give me a guarantee.

I spread out my hands and gave them a question.

I said that the protection I wanted was to be able to put it on my hands and make me healthy and happy.

The 16-year-old was the kid I hit the most and was the smartest. He immediately jumped up, walked to his room, and took a key. He stood in front of me and put the key in my hand. He said, before you get old, this is a key to a villa, and I'm going to send you a villa. You can grow vegetables in front.

The 18-year-old thinks he can't lose. So he went to my room, and he took out my key and put it in my hand. He said Mom, I saw those old Germans traveling the world in motorhomes, I'm going to give you a motorhome so you can travel around the world, and I'll pay for all the costs of your motorhome.

The little daughter of five or six years old thought about it for half a day. He took the key to his little eight treasure chest and said to me, give you the key to the safe, which is studded with diamonds. She said you'll have a lot of necklaces, a lot of rings, and I'll let you wear all 10 fingers full of them, which is completely imaginary.

These three keys were planted like wishes into the hearts of the children. Then we had a villa, traveled the world, and got necklaces and rings.

When my children say they want to promise me something, I keep encouraging them. I would even say that if you buy a house, I'm willing to take out the loan with you. I hope to motivate him with constant encouragement and give him a little strength to his dreams.

So far, our children have not forgotten their original intentions.

The love that Chinese parents give to their children is not too little but too much, and they cannot bear to let them experience the hardships of life from an early age, nor do they know how to ask them for it at the right time, so it eventually leads to their children having a hard life and asking for it from their parents all their lives.

02

The kids sent me omegas and Patek Philippe

I don't like any of them but I still have to wear them

It makes sense for every kid to buy something for me. Usually I don't wear a watch, and our aunt said that my wife was too bad and my son came. I'll start by asking which son? If she tells me that the boss is coming, I have to quickly remove my watch and wear the boss's watch.

If the aunt said that the second brother is coming, I still have to remove the watch, wearing the patek Philippe given to me by the second brother, the idea is: the happy mother is like this, loving the child with her heart.

This action is very small, if you don't wear what he sent, how can it mean that you have them in your heart?

I've got a good handle and I've tricked the kids quite well. Even the most intelligent children have to cheat, of course, this is a very kind kind of deception. Mothers let their children feel that they are dependent on them, and take the initiative to show weakness is love for their children.

First, solemnly tell the child that we have nothing to rely on. We are single-parent divorced families, not provided with relief, we have to rely on ourselves. Don't let him be on his own because he's a kid.

Second, give your child a goal and let him take the initiative to say it himself. Especially for teenagers, he can achieve goals through rational thinking. Five-year-olds have different goals from teenagers, and mothers should be sober-minded. If a five-year-old finds the goal difficult, the mother will help him achieve the goal together. Children are not an investment product, and it is necessary to set goals to make children grow stronger.

Third, let the child know how much the mother cares about his efforts and cares about his love. Wearing gifts from children makes children feel encouraged, and the story of just changing watches is a way to make families happy.

The child sends things to his parents because the parents have a sense of presence in his heart. For example, he got a little red heart at school and was happy to tell me. I must have placed his little red heart in a place where he could see it and not easily lost it, so tomorrow there will be two little red hearts. When you deliberately care about your child's feelings, your child's efforts will be stimulated.

Every mom in the world is smart, but some moms don't find the right way.

03

The child did the housework

Should I give monetary rewards?

It is normal for children to do housework. Labor must have a labor concept. If the child does some housework, you have to give him money, you give him food, does he give you money? Does he sleep in the house you bought to give you money?

We must balance the relationship between labor and creation, and labor is what it should be.

Creating you is to give him some paid mechanisms, such as your home to paint the wall, originally please paint the wall, how much to buy a bucket of paint to paint the wall how much to spend. We all brush together, saving 1,000 yuan of painters, this money you have to give a reasonable share to the children, this is called the paid mechanism.

Differentiated treatment, such as a big cleaning in the house every year, I want to ask someone else to clean, and now the three children have promised them to clean. My original plan was 1,000 yuan, I first took out 300 yuan per person, and 100 yuan was put there as a provident fund, and whoever wanted to use the money urgently took it.

The concept of family wealth stems from the reasonable allocation of parents, don't say that today to drag a floor I will give you a dollar, this is not right, let the child think that this home is not his.

Why do I mop a floor for a dollar, isn't this home mine? Don't you walk on the floor and you walk in the sky? It's easy for parents to get into the wrong place.

I also want to add to the arrangement between the three children, such as the eldest should wash the dishes, the second should mop the floor, the third should dry the clothes, and the three people should arrange their own things. In the work of deployment, they are willing to pay for the mechanism, which is their own business.

For example, I don't want to mop the floor today, and my brother said can I change the dishes? My brother said no. My brother washed it today, can my brother give him two dollars? That's okay, it's a paid mechanism.

In my family, the home is the child's, everyone's. Just like I said that the country is everyone's home, our own home is a small country, and everyone must go to the country and love the country.

Some financial and business education has gone mad

Financial quotient is really about survival, life and life

Financial and business education is actually higher than life. If a person or a child does not even have a good life, what kind of wealth is it?

We like to pull out financial and business education, speaking alone, which also clearly shows the chinese parents' eagerness and anxiety - I feel that I have some money, how can I raise my children to be richer.

To talk about this problem alone is not healthy to talk about this problem alone, and there is no way to give a good method.

There are only three things I can say: survival, life, and life.

First of all, a child must understand survival, if you don't even understand survival, how can you understand life?

Second, be sure to protect yourself and don't go to extremes. Everyone knows that there are many children who are born lightly, and there may be a lot of pressure.

Wealth and commerce are a subtle thing in the Jewish family, and I have broken it down into a small paragraph, but in fact it stems from the fact that life is higher than life.

Some children organize themselves from an early age. I have repeatedly said that a financial child will manage his pocket money so well that parents do not have to manage his pocket money. Leave a small part for himself to dominate, and he will continue to let himself grow in the process of domination. Today I went to buy a pair of shoes that I like very much, this pair of shoes I want to brush myself, he will be more loving, this is life.

I want to give single moms a little encouragement

Any child has his family of origin. Whether it is a divorced family of origin must be very poor, and I want to give some parents of divorced families a little encouragement.

Divorced, the child into a single-parent family, this time depends on the single parents' attitude to life. How do they see themselves facing a person to face their children, to face their families.

Because of the absence of the other half, it may be painful, it may be very frustrating, but if there is an optimistic heart, a positive heart, a heart that regards the child as your shoulder. Don't think of him as a small grass, think of him as a tree, a tree that can be leaned on, then the mood of this single parent will be much calmer.

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