The other day, I saw a video posted by Radiant Video. The reporter interviewed Sheng Hailin, a mother who lost her only daughter 11 years ago and risked her life at the age of 60 to give birth to twins.
In fact, in the past ten years, Sheng Hailin has been interviewed by many media and asked countless times, "Do you regret it?"?
In the face of a pair of lovely daughters, no matter how hard a mother works, she will not say the word "regret". The birth of the daughters gave Sheng Hailin the courage to live, and the days had hope and sustenance.
But she also wants to persuade those who want to take this path to think twice:
In the past 11 years, she has experienced too many hardships that outsiders cannot imagine, and has endured pressure far beyond ordinary people.
Sheng Hailin is now over seventy years old, and should have enjoyed the joy of heaven, but she is still anxious and busy for her family and her children.
When she suffered the loss of her daughter, she gave birth to twins in the test tube to become the oldest mother in China, creating a medical miracle.
But she did not think that it was not easy to have children, and it was even more difficult to raise them.
When Zhizhi and Huihui were just born
Time flies so fast, Sheng Hailin's twin daughters Zhizhi and Huihui are 11 years old this year, fading baby fat and taking on the appearance of a girl.
The two girls were about to be as tall as their mother
It is gratifying that the twins are smart and healthy, and there are no sequelae due to the advanced age of the mother and the premature birth of 7 months. They are nearly 1.5 meters tall, almost as tall as their mother.
And Sheng Hailin doesn't look much different from ten years ago, but sitting with the children, she is indeed more like a grandmother.
Perhaps it was the belief in raising children that supported her, Sheng Hailin was energetic, spoke very clearly, and looked at least ten years younger than her peers.
Before retiring, Sheng Hailin was the president of a hospital in Hefei, Anhui Province, and the couple received more than 10,000 pensions every month, and saved a lot of money.
If this money is used for the elderly, the old couple can live a very comfortable life. But at that time, in order to do IVF and take care of premature babies, most of the savings were spent.
In the neonatology department, Zhizhi lived for 37 days, Huihui lived for 47 days, spending 6,000 yuan per day, all at his own expense.
The huge expenses left the two at a loss. Sheng Hailin realized that the smooth birth of the child was only the first hurdle. If you want to restart your life, you must have a new plan to make money.
Therefore, less than 100 days after giving birth to the child, Sheng Hailin embarked on the road of "making money".
She travels to various places to give health lectures on the prevention of diabetes and hypertension. She is highly eloquent and speaks at a high level, earning four or five thousand yuan per lecture.
At the busiest time, Sheng Hailin traveled to more than 20 cities a month, staying at home for only 3 or 4 days, and more than 300 days a year in the field, pulling a suitcase and shuttled through the airports of major cities.
In the Spring Festival of 2016, her husband suddenly suffered a stroke, which made the family worse.
Sheng Hailin said that the family has 3 nannies, 1 with children, 1 husband who takes care of hemiplegia, and 1 who does housework, spending more than 30,000 yuan a month at the peak, and the daughters study in local private schools, and the annual tuition fee is hundreds of thousands.
Sheng Hailin still remembers that during the Spring Festival that year, the nannies all went home for the New Year. She took care of 2 children and 1 patient alone, and spent a New Year in tears and bitter water.
Sheng Hailin did not dare to get sick and did not dare to grow old. I was afraid that I would fall, and my daughter and husband would have no one to rely on.
She said worriedly to the camera, "I have both long-term and near-term worries."
Zhang Ailing wrote in "Half Life":
After middle age, she often feels lonely, because when she opens her eyes, she is surrounded by people she relies on, but there are no people she relies on.
Sheng Hailin said bluntly that she has not been able to completely get out of the shadow of the early death of her eldest daughter Tingting
Fortunately, the hardest days have passed, and the situation at home has improved a lot in the past two years.
On the one hand, the husband is gradually recovering and can do something within his power;
On the other hand, the daughters have also grown up, and they have been boarding in the school since elementary school, and they have a strong ability to take care of themselves.
The two girls have been boarding at the school since elementary school
Sheng Hailin revealed that she has saved more than 7 million yuan in education funds for her daughters, which is enough to cover most of their future education costs.
The problems that can be solved with money are not big problems, and many problems cannot be solved with money.
For example, children's education.
Ordinary parents will also be confused when raising their children, and it should be known that Sheng Hailin and his wife are already the age of grandparents, and the difficulty can be imagined.
First of all, the strange gaze of the others embarrassed Sheng Hailin.
When the children were 3 or 4 years old, Sheng Hailin took them to an early education class. Someone asked: Are you the child's grandmother? Why didn't the child's parents come? Sheng Hailin could only respond awkwardly that she was the child's mother.
Second, physical weakness makes them mentally weak.
Sheng Hailin remembered that in the early education class, the teacher unfolded a large cloth to put the child on it, asking the parents to help throw the child up, Sheng Hailin was dumbfounded - she simply did not have the ability to complete this. She also can't accompany her children on roller coasters, play game consoles, watch cartoons like young parents...
Sheng Hailin's husband also mentioned in a TV show that when children are 4 or 5 years old, they are the age when they most need their parents' "hugs". He remembers that when his eldest daughter Tingting was 4 or 5 years old, he could hold it all the way and not let go. And now facing the twins, he often holds for a few minutes and has back pain.
As their daughters grew older, the gossip around them inevitably had an impact on them.
They are sensitive enough to realize that their families are different from others and are therefore more sensitive and mature than their peers.
"Some people say, you don't have a mom and dad, you're a kid out of a test tube, and the kid comes back crying." In the face of discussion, Sheng Hailin has cultivated a strong heart, but she is also worried that her child will have low self-esteem.
Perhaps worried that she would leave her daughters prematurely, Sheng Hailin was not at all ambiguous about her investment in their education.
I hope they can become self-reliant, self-reliant, and confident people.
She asked the children for 400 English lessons, and they learned a lot of interest classes, dance, painting, piano and so on.
Although both she and her husband are intellectuals, the children's 3rd grade curriculum has been very difficult for them. When the child encounters a problem that will not be, the old couple is still trying to learn to find answers on the Internet at an old age.
When Sheng Hailin gave birth to the child, there was a lot of controversy on the Internet, and people questioned her ability and thought she was selfish.
After 11 years, Sheng Hailin did her best to prove herself to be a responsible mother, provide a good education for her daughters, and take responsibility for their lives.
The two daughters grew up carefree and happy, not losing to their peers at all.
From the outsider's point of view, Sheng Hailin was successful.
Her story has also become the hope of thousands of families who have lost their independence, and many mothers who have lost their children have come to her and hope to get her encouragement.
It is conservatively estimated that there are at least 1 million families with lost independence in China, and 76,000 new families have lost their independence every year.
But so far, Sheng Hailin has only one.
Sheng Hailin said that it was a medical miracle that she had become a mother again as she wished. She only did the test tube once and succeeded, and many women younger than her age did it a dozen times, and they did it all, but they didn't get it.
The reason is that many elderly couples have collapsed after suffering the blow of losing their independence, and the quality of sperm and eggs is not high. Or it is difficult to transfer embryos into the body, because they do not understand medicine, ignore the doctor's advice, the amount of activity is slightly larger, and the embryos fall.
In the end, there are very few who can successfully give birth to children.
Even if Sheng Hailin gave birth to twins, now listen to her recall her experiences in those years: complications caused by pregnancy, cancer risk, postoperative recovery, and closing the door are all ghost doors.
Wise and wise are now healthy and intelligent, with the care of the god of luck. Sheng Hailin said that her neighbor did not dare to joke with her until the child went to kindergarten: I was afraid that the two girls would not have a good IQ.
This is not unrelated to Sheng Hailin's strong physical fitness and high medical literacy, and her ability to control her body, while ordinary people may not have such physical conditions as her.
On the other hand, although Sheng Hailin once felt that she was financially stretched, it is clear that her earning power and economic foundation are better than most people, and she can raise two children at a high level after retirement.
More than ten years ago, there was a couple in Guangzhou, Aunt Wen and Uncle Liu, who gave birth to a pair of dragon and phoenix fetuses in a test tube in their 50s, and were originally a local star couple.
However, due to the pressure of life, the two of them were mentally devastated when the child was 10 years old, and both jumped off the building to commit suicide, leaving the child orphaned.
The pressure of childbearing at an advanced age is not something that everyone can afford.
Of course, Sheng Hailin's willpower like steel is admirable, and the belief of becoming a mother has supported her step by step to today. "A woman is weak, but a mother is just" has a different interpretation in her.
Sheng Hailin was very unfortunate, but she was also favored by Heaven.
In the past 11 years, Sheng Hailin has been asked countless times to "regret it later".
In the face of a pair of lovely daughters, no matter how hard the mother works, she will not say the word "regret", and the birth of her daughter brings hope to Sheng Hailin's life.
Without these two children, I would probably have lived in pain all the time, and this feeling accompanied me to death.
Now, it was pain, it is hard now.
But she also wants to persuade those who want to take this road to think more about the difficulties and think twice:
If I were to do it again, I would think twice about it, and now that I have two children, I really can't move.
It's not so much "regret" as it is fear.
She was afraid that she would not live to see her daughters grow up to adulthood, and she was afraid that she would not see them get married and have children.
What is it like for a 60-year-old woman to be a mother again?
Sheng Hailin said that it should be happiness, seeking happiness in pain and trouble.
Zhizhi looks like Tingting, and Huihui looks like a son-in-law, and the more she looks, the more she looks like her. Sheng Hailin believes that people have souls, and she believes that her daughter and son-in-law have returned to her life in this way.
The two daughters are very sensible and have a high emotional intelligence. Knowing that their mother misses her deceased sister, they will comfort her mother:
How nice it would be if my sister were alive.
Hearing such words, Sheng Hailin's heart was full of mixed feelings.
She said bitterly to Zhizhi and Huihui:
If your sister were alive, there would be no of you.
Sheng Hailin still remembers her birthday a few years ago, and the sisters spent 2 yuan to buy a string of plastic bead necklaces, and a card read: "Happy birthday to dear mother."
When she received this gift, she had mixed feelings and burst into tears.
After the outbreak of the epidemic, Sheng Hailin traveled less on business, and the way of lecturing was gradually changed to online, and there were fewer online classes in the past year.
After the age of 70, Sheng Hailin officially returned to the family.
She wants to spend more time with her daughter and start living for herself.
"Only if I live well, they can live well."