In the process of raising children, we often only value the child's academic performance, but forget to cultivate the child's ability to get along with the world.
When I brushed vibrato a few days ago, I saw a video sent by @Peking University Tutu Mom - the three abilities that pay the most attention to children.
These three abilities are precisely what schools do not teach and parents can cultivate in their daily lives.
The first is the ability to get along with money.
Peking University Tutu Mama talked about how this ability is essentially the ability to coexist with a scarce social resource.
Although his son is only in the third grade, he will give his child pocket money every month, bound to the relative card of WeChat Pay, and then openly and honestly discuss with the child through his way of spending money which is used for communication and which is used for hobbies.
The second is the ability to deal with people.
She has seen many outstanding young people in the workplace who miss some opportunities because they do not know how to deal with people.
Especially in the middle and high levels, the core is to "deal with people", if the child can get better and more mature than themselves in the process of growing up, they must be able to take a lot of detours.
The third is the ability to love oneself.
To love oneself is to delight oneself and appreciate oneself.
Because we will eventually find that most of the time in life is spent with ourselves, and loving ourselves can better love others.
In just over a minute of video, the three abilities are clearly introduced, and as a mother, it is difficult for me not to agree with her words. In a way, these three abilities are much more important than good grades.
01
Know how to get along with money, life is richer
Many parents who come to Xingzhi to study do not know how to talk to their children about money, always feel that their children are too small to be suitable, and think that their children will grow up.
As everyone knows, children's concept of money begins to be established from an early age.
In life, we may have all seen two extreme people, one spending money without scale, and the other without pulling out chicken feathers.
I have a cousin, the old man and child of the family, who spends a lot of money, and the family has a hard time providing for him to go to college, and actually spent the money on the way to school, and finally had to let the family take the money again.
After work, often this month's salary is not enough to pay off last month's debt. The family had a hard time finding a wife for him, and he divorced within two years.
Nowadays, more than 40, there is still no planning, and a person is displaced outside. Whoever mentioned it, it was a sigh.
Some people spend money like flowing water, and some people regard money as a treasure.
Before there was a friend who valued money very much and never spent money on holidays, thinking that this was a trick of the merchant, who bought and who suffered.
Every time I go to the supermarket, I buy discounted goods, and I only look at the cheapest and never look at the quality. Eat hot pot also have to bring their own dishes, thinking that this is to save money.
These two stories, one profligate and one iron rooster, boil down to the fact that they have not established a correct view of money since childhood.
The flowers that should not be spent, the flowers that should not be spent, and eventually make themselves miserable, and there is no way to get a happy life.
It is also because of this that I have paid special attention to my children's money education since I was a child, not only telling my children that it is not easy to earn money, but also letting children know how to spend money correctly.
Usually, children want to buy anything, as long as it is not excessive daily necessities, I will be satisfied.
If I want to buy something that is more expensive and not very practical, I will discuss with my children whether they can buy it on birthdays or holidays, and if they want it very much, they can get points by doing housework.
When he grows up, he will regularly give his child pocket money and teach him to take a small book to keep accounts, so that where each money is spent, there are counts in his heart.
Slowly children have formed their own concept of spending money, usually spending what should be spent, and if there is not enough money, they know how to store.
People who correctly understand money and know how to get along with money will have a real sense of fulfillment in their future lives.
02
Know how to get along with people, life is more smooth
The more I grew up, the more I learned how important it was to get along with people. I have seen a netizen share his experience of not getting along with people before, which is sad.
Because he is an only son, his parents take special care of him, primary school to junior high school are parents to pick up and drop off at school, to high school and college are accompanied by his mother, he has a bit of an introverted personality, plus he is used to his parents' arrangement, and rarely interacts with the outside world.
Slowly I didn't know how to deal with others, at first there were a few friends, and then there was no contact and faded.
Later, he was admitted to a public institution and faced with an unfamiliar environment, which was a torture for him.
He doesn't know how to communicate with grumpy leaders, he can't understand jokes between colleagues, and he can't work with customers.
Over time, colleagues felt that he was not easy to get along with, could not be reused by the leadership, and did not have his name on the annual promotion list. Graduated from a prestigious school but did the most basic clerical work.
Children eventually have to face society alone, and a person who does not know how to communicate with others, does not know how to observe words, and does not control his emotions is difficult to go long in this complex society.
Although the child's social skills are somewhat related to talent, parents are the child's first contact, and the acquired family education is also very important.
When cultivating children to get along with others, they can be cultivated from 3 aspects:
1. Empathy
Guide your child to think differently, and when you understand each other's words and deeds, you can correct some of your own prejudices and opinions.
For example, if a child has a conflict with someone else, I will ask him, if you were in that environment at that time, what kind of choice would you make?
2. Acceptance
Just as there are no two identical leaves in the world, and no one has the same temper and temperament, we must accept that everyone has a different personality.
Try to respect the other person's wholeness, including shortcomings, and the other person will accept you. Don't force others to accept your point of view.
3. Be humble
Look at others with appreciative eyes as much as possible, and look at yourself with introspective eyes. Be strict with yourself, but be lenient with others.
In today's society, which emphasizes interpersonal relationships, the ability of children to get along with people almost determines the future direction of his life.
03
People who love themselves can face any difficulty
Have you ever thought about what kind of child you want to raise?
I have seen many people, obviously they are very good, but they are cautious in doing things, smiling at everyone, but they forget to consider their own feelings.
This is also the old good man we often see in the workplace, and realizing this, we must tell our children:
Even if you are ordinary, not smart enough, small eyes, and a collapsed nose, you are still the only you, the person your parents love the most;
You can be gentle and kind, but your kindness must be sharp and dare to say "no" to things you don't like;
You can be nice to others, but only if you put your feelings first.
These words are to let the child know that no matter how he is, there are people who silently love him, so that he can not be humble at any time in society, not casually please others, and love himself all the time.
In addition to constantly giving children love, we should teach children how to love themselves as soon as possible and give themselves enough security.
In this world, there should be no more reliable protective cover than "love yourself".
In the book Hello, Kid, it says:
(Parents) have to be the co-pilot of the child, we help the child see the road, direct the conductor, and be a coach next to it. But the one who really controls the steering wheel should be the child himself.
Let children learn to get along with money, get along with others, get along with themselves, you can harvest more life confidence, in the long road of life, even if you are alone, you can go on firmly.