"Let's break up, with you, I'm not safe!"
"In this home, I am insecure, maybe tomorrow, maybe the day after tomorrow, our marriage will come to an end." 」
"Staying at this company, I don't know when I'll be fired, completely insecure."
I don't know when it began, "security" entered our personal lives, families and workplaces. We are always looking for a sense of security in life, or we are always in anxiety.
When the child is less than one year old, the mother begins to worry about the future of the child, because other people's children are already walking, their children can only crawl, and the children are not as good as others when they grow up.
After the child goes to kindergarten, the mother is even more insecure.
Will the teacher not care about my child?
Did any other children bully my children?
Is the teacher in that position because we didn't give the teacher a gift?
Is the mother really worried about the child?
On the surface, it is true that mothers love their children too much, which is why there are so many worries.
Mothers look inside themselves, and all of our worries and anxieties are just traps we have set for ourselves based on our own feelings.
Will a mother who is working hard in the workplace not love her children? Will she have time to ask these questions?
Most working moms don't have such problems, and they usually come from stay-at-home moms or mothers who are inherently insecure.
Insecure mothers are not only insecure in their children's education, but also in all aspects of life.
The native chicken that her husband bought from the wet market, she would unconsciously suspect that "you bought it from the farm, where is the local chicken for sale now"; buying clothes online and coming back, washing it over and over again, she suspects that there will definitely be pollution during the express transportation process.
Working in the company, the boss rarely talks to her, she will feel that the boss does not pay attention to her, she can not devote herself to the work, she will feel that she is in danger of being dismissed by the boss at any time.
Occasional insecurity can make us work more meticulous, so that life is rigorous and fulfilling; excessive insecurity not only causes trouble to ourselves, but also affects our life and work.
Doudou's mother is a graphic designer, who has high requirements for herself and is deeply appreciated by customers for her work. However, her efforts and efforts have not been truly appreciated by the boss.
She worked hard and tried to make herself better, but she still felt that she did not meet the requirements of her boss.
She is constantly learning new skills, always trying to find ways to improve her design level, and always feels that she is not doing well enough.
In this state, the boss does not see a good employee, but a passer-by who has used the company as a springboard moment to prepare to jump ship.
Not only that, But Mother Bean also brought her own state to the house.
Her husband will not bring children, she will force her husband to read books about parenting; when the child is only 3 years old, she buys all kinds of books and toys to train her thinking, hoping that the child can learn and become smarter and more capable than herself.
The anxiety of The bean mother not only makes the boss feel uncomfortable, but also makes the husband very painful.
So what do we naturally have this anxiety or insecurity? Can it be changed?
Of course you can.
Since anxiety is innate to everyone, a small amount of anxiety is conducive to work or life, we only need to adjust the anxiety of the transition to the appropriate state.
First, find the root cause of anxiety, what causes us to feel insecure all the time;
Second, we assess the actions we have taken to address insecurity.
If such an action is taken, what are the consequences and will it hurt others?
Is there a better way to deal with these insecurities?
Finally, abandon wrong actions that will hurt others, take the right actions in your own favor and others, actively deal with insecurity factors, and achieve the desired results.
Everyone will not be absolutely perfect, admit our little flaws, recognize ourselves, be the masters of our own feelings and destiny, we will have a happy and happy life!
Anxious, we accept it against the wind, and let it go with the wind.