| Xu Yuan
Recently, the media reported that a 13-year-old boy in Suzhou, Jiangsu Province, Doudou (pseudonym), lived alone for two months in the case of his parents being isolated and unable to go home, not only fed himself fat, but also raised dogs and cats to be fat and fat. Doudou's mother said that this is the first time that the child has lived alone, and his independence and strength make her deeply touched, and she feels that every parent cannot underestimate the child, in fact, the children are very good.
According to Doudou's mother, her family of three lives in Suzhou, she and her husband work in Shanghai, because of the epidemic, they are isolated in the local area, unable to go home, both parents are not in Suzhou, the child has to stay at home alone. At first, the children could still go downstairs to eat, and then the building was sealed, all relying on the community property to send box lunches, vegetables and meat and other materials. After two months, Doudou not only fed himself and the cats and dogs fat, learning without any delay, but also comforted his parents and reassured them. Although the child is still very scared at home alone, and the windows are closed to death, the overall performance still makes the parents look at him, "thinking that he is doing better than many adults in terms of spirit."
This was originally warm news. A 13-year-old child, in the absence of parents on the spot, living alone for two months, not crying, not making trouble, not hungry themselves, not falling behind homework, no emotional collapse, this optimistic composure, indeed makes many adults ashamed of themselves, but also enough to make parents happy and proud. However, many netizens praised the child's strength, revealing more pain and worry, and even believed that this matter should not be reported as a positive deed, and parents could not use it to boast about the child's morality, because we adults should not let a 13-year-old child live alone for two months.
If it is left in peacetime, it is not allowed to let the children of minors live alone at home for a long time, whether it is legal or moral. Although the law clearly stipulates that parents or other guardians may not leave a child under 8 years old unattended, it is also contrary to the guardianship duties provided by law to let a 13-year-old child stay alone at home for a long time, let him eat alone, sleep alone, and be unaccompanied. Legally, not being able to leave a child alone at home is not fundamentally different because of the background of the pandemic or the child's ability to be independent and competent.
Of course, Doudou's more than sixty days of living alone cannot be blamed on his parents. If it were not for the epidemic, it would not be trapped in Shanghai and unable to come back, and parents would not be able to bear to be separated from their children for so long. I think that the usual mind of people's parents speculates that in the past two months, Doudou's parents may be worried every day, afraid of what accidents will happen to the children who are not under their eyes; worried that he is confined to freedom at home, bored life, lonely and lonely, and emotionally unbearable... Such a day, for parents who can only remotely monitor and guide their children online, is definitely not a liberation from the mythical beast, but more like a constant torture.
Fortunately, Doudou is very strong, optimistic, has a calm and self-discipline that far exceeds that of her peers, takes good care of herself, and has the property to regularly deliver meals and food, which greatly alleviates the uneasiness and guilt of parents. Parents also see the child's growth and potential stimulated by difficulties, and greatly appreciate the child's independence, which is a very natural emotional outpouring, which cannot be interpreted as an anachronistic showmanship or ulterior motives.
But on the other hand, the disgust of netizens can also be understood. "13-year-olds live alone for two months," the label hits a potential anxiety in the parent community. The mental journey of Doudou's parents is exactly what many parents are afraid of encountering and facing. After all, not all children can be as cheerful and optimistic as Doudou. It is perfectly normal for children at this age to rely on and need the company of their parents. It is not the simple education and encouragement of parents, the loneliness and fear that entrenched in the young mind will disappear; nor will the child be reborn overnight because of the sudden outbreak of the epidemic, and become mature and calm. Allowing them to experience a long-term separation from their parents prematurely is an exorbitant test of their ability to survive and prevent danger, and the psychological impact is even more difficult to predict.
Infographic. Image source: Visual China
Especially for children with special diseases who cannot take care of themselves, staying at home alone is a survival challenge that they cannot complete. Professor Yan Feng, who previously lived in Shanghai, did not hesitate to expose his privacy, posted on social platforms to disclose that his child was suffering from autism, and pleaded not to separate him from his child during the epidemic, because once an autistic patient and his family were separated, "whether it is life or psychological difficulties and torture, it is unimaginable to ordinary people." Further ahead, in 2020, a 17-year-old child with cerebral palsy who was isolated at home alone starved to death because the village committee did not feed in time. Although this is because the village committee has not fulfilled its duty of care, it also shows from the side that these children cannot, like adults, seek help in time when they encounter difficulties and argue for their rights. Once they are separated from their families, they are left to the brink of danger.
Even children who can take care of themselves have limited self-help ability. The beanie in the news can survive more than sixty days smoothly, which depends largely on the care of the property. But if they encounter irresponsible caregivers, or if they are overwhelmed by the epidemic, the cadres and volunteers of the neighborhood committee are overwhelmed by heavy responsibilities and have no time to take care of them, and their families are not around, what should they do?
As mentioned earlier, from a legal point of view, children cannot be left unsupervised for a long time, even in the context of the epidemic. When parents are isolated and who will take custody of the children, the Civil Code has long been clearly stipulated: due to emergencies such as emergencies, the guardian is temporarily unable to perform guardianship duties, and the ward's life is unattended, the residents' committee, villagers' committee or civil affairs department of the ward's domicile shall arrange necessary temporary life care measures for the ward.
That is to say, when parental guardianship is absent during the epidemic, neighborhood committees, village committees or civil affairs departments have the responsibility to take good care of children's lives. But what is "good care", is it simply to give food and clothing, or to assign special temporary care to ensure that the child is accompanied and can receive the necessary medical, educational and psychological care? No further clarification is made in law. In addition, all three institutions have the responsibility of care, so is the specific guardian body a neighborhood committee, a villagers' committee, or a civil affairs department? What standards and procedures should be used to assign responsibilities in order to prevent prevarication?
Rather than praising children's independence and rejoicing in their growth, people want to see that the above questions can be answered, and government departments and grass-roots organizations can provide institutionalized protection for children. When they have to stay at home alone, the local government can start the emergency response procedure at the first time, determine the appropriate caregiver as soon as possible, ensure that the child is managed, cared for, and cared for, and realize the seamless docking of the guardianship of minors. Only in this way can parents let their children grow up with confidence.