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As parents, they probably hope to shield their children from the wind and rain, clear all obstacles on his way forward, and give him a peaceful and joyful life.
However, fate is uncertain, the world is full of changes, and parents cannot be the crutch of their children for a lifetime.
Let children suffer appropriately, continue to experience, have the strength to resist wind and rain, have wisdom and ability to live their own lives, this is the wisest choice for parents.
No matter how much you love your child, you must be willing to let him eat these 5 kinds of suffering.
01
The bitterness of parting
Life is destined to go through all kinds of separation, growing up and traveling, pets dying, relatives dying... Children grow up little by little in this separation, constantly see the world for a long time, and also understand the preciousness of getting together and the importance of companionship.
The neighbor brother was the first college student in our small fishing village to be admitted to the big city.
At that time, many people advised his mother to let the child run so far and the life was not familiar, what was the picture? It's good to go to college in the city and then hold an iron rice bowl.
His mother said a word: Man, the first half of the life to enjoy happiness, the second half of the life will have to suffer, the first half of the life to suffer, the second half of the life to enjoy the blessing, the child himself wants to break in.
Now the brother has a firm foothold in Shanghai, has his own career, and often takes his parents to live.
People are separated in their lives, and every time they leave a shadow, there must always be a person who sees the shadow. The first person must have been a parent.
Kindergarten, elementary school, secondary school, university, work married..... Every step of a child's development is moving a little further away from their parents.
Parents and children are like flying kites, if you want him to fly to a higher sky, you must be willing to cut the line in your hand, if you want your child to grow independently, you must be willing to let him bear the pain of parting.
02
The bitterness of reading
It is the nature of children to play greedily, and children are mostly bored with their parents' instructions to "read well" and feel that reading is too hard.
Where do they know how much suffering they will experience in life if they do not eat the pain of reading now, and how much suffering they will experience in the future, and the suffering at that time may be a thousand times greater.
In 2008, Xu Mengnan was sentenced to zero points for scribbling on the examination paper, and then he went out with his father to work, with no academic qualifications, no skills, and could only do the most basic physical work.
After experiencing some polishing of life, Xu Mengnan suddenly woke up. What a wrong decision I made. Ten years later, in 2018, he picked up his textbooks and went to the exam room again. He said that he would not hand over the white paper this time.
There are many hindsights in life, and "not reading well" is one of them.
When I was young and ignorant, I thought that learning was the most boiling errand in the world, but later I understood that reading is the easiest way to go.
No matter how much parents love their children, they must be willing to let him suffer from reading, push him when he wants to give up, and tell him not to give up halfway when he wants to be lazy.
One day the child will understand that he has suffered for reading today, and the night he stays up will pave a broad road and take him to the life he likes.
03
The bitterness of labor
Some time ago, such a report made people angry and speechless.
David, 48 years old, has achieved excellent results since childhood, studied abroad after graduating from Tongji University, and obtained a master's degree from a famous foreign university, which can be said to have a very good resume.
But after returning home, his life took a 180-degree turn.
After graduation, David refused to go out to work, sleeping during the day, playing games at night, and relying on more than 80 old mothers with uremia for 6 years.
Ding Apo's monthly pension is 3500 yuan, and the treatment fee alone costs 2000, and the rest has to support herself and her son.
In order to force her son to work, Ding Even thought of taking him to court to ask him to pay alimony.
Ding Apo, who was physically and mentally exhausted, said in the show: "Before, he was ready-made and reliant. ”
Even more speechless, David also blamed his current state on his mother's previous coddling.
In reality, there are many parents who are afraid that their children are tired and injured, and they take care of their children from an early age, and they "take care" of food, clothing, housing and transportation.
They don't realize that coddling to a certain extent is poison that will ruin the child's future and their own lives.
The quality of hard work and independence will never become obsolete, and it is also a pain that children must endure.
As Carnegie put it, "In order to live successfully, young people must learn to stand on their own feet in order to remove the obstacles that lie in the ground."
"Habitual children are like killing children", this sentence deserves the vigilance of all parents.
04
The bitterness of criticism
I once saw a report that a young boy of about 10 years old openly peed in the elevator of the community.
The property manager found out and said a few words to the child and told the child's mother. How did this mom do it?
She immediately criticized the child severely, asking the child to write a review and paste it in the elevator to apologize to everyone and clean the elevator for a month.
Can't help but give this mom a thumbs up. Children who make mistakes will never be protected, they should be criticized and criticized, and they should be disciplined and disciplined not sloppy at all.
Parents let their children understand the rules from an early age, willing to let him suffer from criticism, just like a small tree constantly gives him a positive posture, and will grow up to be tall and lush.
On the contrary, if a child runs into trouble when he is a child and thinks of using money to settle the peace, or even ignores it, when he grows up, a small evil becomes a big evil, which will inevitably lead to bitter results.
The so-called good words are good for the disease, the child is in the age of not being able to distinguish between right and wrong, parents should lead by example, wake up with words, guide the child to the right path, for some mistakes, do not get by.
05
The bitterness of parenting
A Tsinghua professor once indignantly said: The biggest scam of Chinese education is happy education, useless academic qualifications and the release of children's nature, and these three scams are distorting the growth of Chinese children step by step.
How many parents take the reason that "the child is small and ignorant" and "he is still a child" and turn a deaf ear to the uncultured behavior of the child.
On the Chongqing subway, a child wore shoes and stepped on the seat back and forth, and some people could not see it and came forward to dissuade it.
The child's mother actually scolded the passenger: "What's wrong?" Is there a law that prevents children from standing on top of this? The child heard that his mother supported himself and was even more unscrupulous.
Some people say that 99% of the problems in children come from the family, the parents' three views hide the future of the child, you condone the child today, tomorrow the child's uncultured consequences may be fiercely retaliated against you.
Last year, a bear child punched and kicked the man next door on the plane to the United States, and the parents not only did not discipline, but also beat up the man, and as a result, the plane landed, and it was actually the FBI that greeted them, and they were directly deported.
As the old saying goes, if a person is polite, he is safe, and if he is rude, he is dangerous.
You may be able to spoil your child and indulge your child for a lifetime, but once you go into society, others will not get used to him.
Poor and rich, it is better to be educated.
You are willing to let your child bear the pain of parenting, so that the child's future path can be smooth, and he will be more easily accepted by others and by this society.
Life is long, and parents cannot protect their children for a lifetime.
A good parent is the one who teaches him to fish, not the one who keeps protecting his child and keeps giving him fish, because one day there will be no fish to give.
Life is like tasting tea, and you know how to endure hardships to have a sweet return.
No matter how much parents love their children, they must let go at the right time, make up their minds, and be willing to let him eat these 5 kinds of suffering.
Love, must know how to divide inches, have principles.