01
As the saying goes, there is no hatred between father and son, no resentment and no husband and wife; loving husband and wife do not have a head.
The best couple must have love, hatred, hatred, and resentment, in fact, how much you hate each other, how much you love each other, love and hate are complementary, but also can be transformed into each other.
This is true of couples, without exception, because our lives are not in fairy tales. Since it is real life, there must be all kinds of trivial matters, whose pot has ash at the bottom, how it is on the surface, and two people together, there will be contradictions.
As I read earlier:
"Many young boys and girls always think too simply, too idealistically and artistically about their future married life. Once the family was organized, it was discovered that it was not the case. There are family responsibilities, housework chores; there are conjugal relations, living arrangements, daily income and expenditure, pension and childcare, and other things and practical things. It is not at all singing and lyrical, and it can be done by one's own will. ”
Naturally, there will be conflicts of ideas, conflicts of positions, and friction of wills, and the best couples will always argue and reconcile, and argue while loving.
As for the statement that the loving couple does not have a head, why?
Husbands and wives are too affectionate, living every day with earburns, pianos and singing, you carry water to me to water the garden life, but this kind of life, may be the norm of married life? Therefore, because of too much love, it is impossible to endure trivial life, the daily blandness, and it is impossible to face the contradictions between husband and wife.
In this world, there will never be an absolutely happy life, a life of blandness, a lifetime of noise, never an empty word.
02
There is a strange phenomenon in life, why do you shout divorce every day, but there is no departure, usually do not quarrel, say that you leave? Hear the best answer, say:
"After staying together for a long time, I can't avoid arguments, some lovers, quarrel every day, but year after year, although they quarrel every day, they are still inseparable." Some lovers, who never quarrel, outsiders envy their sweetness, but break up like lightning. Quarrel is crazy communication, willing to stay and quarrel always love you, but patience, gradually but will become a time bomb, one day suddenly exploded, all feelings will explode in an instant, collapse. ”
Deeply.
The most important thing between husband and wife is communication, as long as there is communication, the relationship cannot be easily broken, because the driving force of communication still comes from love.
Explain that one or both parties still think well, and the heart wants to solve the contradictions and problems that have occurred, so there will be communication, although it is in the way of quarrel, but the quarrel is also a crazy way of communication, the effect is more significant.
Never quarrel, not necessarily because of love, but also because of patience, no matter what problems and contradictions, two people are holding in their hearts, by misunderstanding to produce estrangement, at this time, each other's hearts will be randomly guessing, speculating, and because of the lack of communication, and more affirm their own ideas.
What does that equate to? The contradictions between husband and wife are deeper, the misunderstandings are greater, and then by the failure of expectations, all negative emotions are accumulating.
People's patience is limited, so when the outbreak occurs, it is also the time when the relationship collapses, it seems to be a sudden result, in fact, everything also has signs, such as more and more strange and indifferent between two people.
The so-called love, never mentioning divorce, is just a superficial appearance, for the sake of life, for the sake of children, for the sake of human design and had to disguise.
Those who are willing to stay and quarrel, the more quarrels, the more entanglements between husband and wife, and no one has ever thought of preparing for a retreat, those who do not want to quarrel, any disappointment exists in their hearts, and they will always prepare a retreat for themselves in instinct.
When a person is even prepared for his own retreat, will he be far from retreating? Even a slight contradiction can be the trigger for divorce.
As long as there is a thought of giving up, in fact, this idea of giving up is very terrible and serious, and it also leads to the loss of the most fundamental determination to share a common fate between husband and wife, and the determination to go on is gone, and it is obvious that they will have a natural attitude towards everything, which will lead to the relationship between husband and wife gradually drifting apart.
03
Care will quarrel, the deeper the hate, the deeper the love, if even the strength to quarrel is gone, or even the quarrel is too lazy to quarrel, that is the real despair, dead heart and abandonment of the performance. Between husband and wife, bedside quarrels and bedside and as long as they are not mixed with harm, quarrels will also become the lubricating oil of feelings.
Often say divorce, do not rule out the psychology of scaring each other, why scare each other? It is not that I hope that the other party will make changes and can make changes for the sake of the longevity of the marriage.
This fundamentally shows that the couple has never lost the desire to be "good", by scaring each other, making the other person care more about themselves and pay more attention to themselves.
In any case, the quarrel also belongs to a kind of emotional collision, frequent collisions in feelings, frequent intersections, and then want to break, it is not so simple.
Some couples look at the same heart and mind, but only look at it, without too much participation in the life part, without too much interest part of the entanglement, then there is not much divorce concern. Only an argument, or in an argument, makes it easier to deal with two people's inappropriate places.
Hating a person shows that it is difficult to let go and give up, and because of the inner emotions, I have to persist, and hatred arises in pain. So when it's not good, how much you hate each other, when it's good, how much you love each other, plus there are so many entanglements between two people, it is very difficult to leave.
Of course, quarrels are also very hurtful, not the more quarrels the better, if quarrels are inevitable, do not say some excessive words, do some excessive things when you are emotional, and avoid mixing hurt when quarrelling. Otherwise, after a long time, people will slowly chill and slowly despair, and the so-called mourning is greater than heart death.
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