Introductory Language:
Mao Mao and her husband are both from the countryside and have low academic qualifications, so at the level of educating children, they often rely on yelling and scolding to educate. However, with the growth of the child's age, Mao Mao gradually found that the scolding had no effect on the child, and the child's eyes were sluggish every time he was scolded. After scolding, the mistakes that should be made continue to be made, making Mao Mao helpless. What is more inconvenient is that children become less confident and timid, do not like to get along with other children, and always like to stay at home alone.
In practice, many mothers also have problems like hairy couples. Many parents also have the experience of being scolded as children, so it doesn't feel like a big deal, and they use this set to teach their children again. Some people can't control their temper, and every time the liver fire goes up, they will scold the child, and then regret it.
First, psychologists have long emphasized that children who are often yelled at loudly also have these shortcomings in addition to becoming stupid
1, often shouted children will become stupid
Biologists once did an experiment in which they took a 3-year-old child and did a brain scan. The 2 children are similar in age, the same sex, and the same family lineage, the only difference is that one child is often praised, and one is often scolded. As a result, their brain scans looked very different.
Children who are often yelled at are likely to have a shocking shift in intelligence. Children who are often scolded have a large circle of brains that are noticeably smaller. Children who often suffer verbal violence such as loud shouting, verbal abuse, and swearing by their parents have an average verbal intelligence of only 112 points when they grow up, which is 12 points lower than that of these children who have not been subjected to verbal violence.
Second, children who are often yelled at will continue to have this personality defect, and the more they grow, it will be difficult to correct!
1. Timidity and weakness
"These children who want to grow up surrounded by your love, their self-confidence is very different from ordinary children." 」 Psychologists have found that children who have been yelled at for a long time do not become more tenacious. In turn, when they do other things, they will look weak, cowardly, oppressed on campus, and afraid to speak up bravely. Because in their consciousness, they are the one who should be bullied and scolded.
2, insecure
Children who have been yelled at since childhood will be very afraid of their parents and will be insecure. Children feel that the home is not the inner home, it will cause a sense of resistance to life, they will feel that they cannot give themselves a sense of safety at home, and such a mentality will appear after growing up.
3, temperament will become paranoid, and may even go to extremes
Children who have been yelled at by their parents since childhood, their temperament will become very unconfident, their psychological endurance is very poor, and there will eventually be a string hanging in their hearts, if one day the child's mentality is full of resentment, and the adverse effects will erupt, unimaginable. And children who have been yelled at by their parents for a long time will become more paranoid in temperament, encounter a little thing, and will not concentrate on rational solutions.
It is said that impulse is the devil, and some people can do all kinds of extreme things when they are irrational, and the damage caused is unpredictable. In fact, such a child will not be able to appear in society later. The purpose of scolding is to solve difficult problems, not to give children a lifting problem.
People usually educate children according to their own experience and habits, and people's experience is not necessarily appropriate, nor is it necessarily scientific and reasonable. If you use an incorrect method to educate your child, you really can't predict what the child's future development orientation will be.
Very like to lose their temper, do not know how to educate children's parents can buy a copy of "positive discipline" to learn about it, it is a parenting experience of parenting experts after twenty years of parenting experience, wrote a parenting experience book, can help parents can better educate their children.
Positive Discipline is a way of teaching children without punishment or arrogance. From the beginning to the experience, all it takes is a book. This book comprehensively tells everyone how to communicate with children reasonably, and how to shape children's positive attitude and excellent character.
As a parent, do not ask the child too highly, but give the child a lot of indoor space and accept the child's defects. Children are like seedlings, they must constantly correct, so that they can grow stronger. Children are better educated. This method is not right, but it will make children resist adults, or distrust their parents, and it is very easy to rebel when they grow up, and even contradict their parents, which is definitely not good.
As a full-scoring parent, you need to learn more, such as looking at educational books, and constantly improve yourself. Communicate with your child more often, be fair, and pay attention to communication, so that your child will have more self-confidence. Grow up with your children so that you can work together and excel together.
epilogue
In fact, how the parents are, the child is also very easy to have what kind of temperament, the child is a model for the parents, if you want to make the child outstanding, the parents must manage their own speech and behavior. Don't even control your temper very well, after all, you are also an adult, don't be so childish. The important thing is that your mood will directly affect the child, and it is very easy to produce a bad temperament.