The netizen letter said:
The marriage with my ex-wife came to the 6th year, I met a girl who was 9 years younger than me through online social platforms, only because the other party was young and beautiful, so I had the impulse to divorce the other party and my ex-wife, and paid for practical actions. Until I divorced my ex-wife, my ex-wife didn't know the real reason for my divorce from her, at that time, I just said that it was inappropriate between me and my ex-wife, a little bit of love, and took cold violence against her. Eventually, my ex-wife granted my divorce request.
Less than a week after divorcing my ex-wife, I began to live with my lover, during which I found that there was too much generation gap between me and my lover, she was unrestrained in terms of spending money, and she deliberately concealed our feelings from her friends. So, I have a sense of déjà vu that she has no intention of marrying me at all, but just enjoys the small favors I have given her. The relationship lasted less than half a year, and I proposed to break up, and she didn't do anything to keep it.
After the divorce from my ex-wife and the breakup with my lover, I began to reflect on what I had in my marriage, and eventually my epiphany was that life with my ex-wife was called life. So, I cheekily went to my ex-wife to remarry, and my ex-wife said: 1) When I divorced, it was obvious that you were involved in an extramarital affair, but I was told that it was not appropriate between the two of us, you couldn't love it, you were very unkind. Isn't the purpose of your doing this that you are worried that you are the wrong party and will suffer losses at the level of property division? I have lived with you for 6 years; 2) I have a boyfriend now, I love him very much, he loves me very much, and he is very good to our children, so please, it is best to disappear into my life in the future.
Seeing my ex-wife's desperate look, isn't that the feedback I gave to my ex-wife when I wanted to divorce her? Unfortunately, after I understood the true meaning of marriage, my ex-wife did not wait for me in the same place, of course, she did not have to wait for me in the same place. I just feel that two people who were once so good will be like strangers in the future, and there will still be some loss in my heart. All of this, can only say that I deserve it, after all, I don't know how to cherish and lost my ex-wife.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
Many people will frequently say "I love you" and "I want to be with you for a lifetime" during the relationship, at that time, it is not actually love, at best it is like and appreciate. Because love needs to be run-in, it needs to adapt to each other, it needs responsibility and obligation, it needs to guarantee absolute fidelity to marriage. So that there will be a lot of feelings, not able to pass the run-in period, will be because of the ability to make money, living habits, personality, way of doing things and other reasons, let this relationship disintegrate. If these factors are recognized by each other, then, after marriage, the points that need to be faced: the attitude towards the children, the attitude towards the parents of both parties, and the degree of loyalty to the marriage will determine whether the marriage can last.
A good relationship will at least form the effect of one plus one equals two, and a bad relationship will bring consumption to each other, so that they are unhappy every day. After all, the field of love also pays attention to the barrel effect, and perhaps you are excellent at many levels, but when the shortcomings are obvious, the relationship is not very happy. It's like: you look good, your earning ability is good, but you can't guarantee the uniqueness of your feelings, try to ask, how can the other party turn a blind eye to your messy behavior. To this end, we must understand that the reason why many couples will part ways must be caused by the other party's inability to tolerate your shortcomings. For this reason, in the process of running a marriage, at least you should not make some principled mistakes, otherwise, the lover will not give you forgiveness because you have a lot of merits.
Inevitably, when you ask your ex-wife for divorce, and she doesn't know that you are divorced by her lover, she is a little confused, but in order to achieve the purpose of divorce, you have said too many desperate words to her and committed cold violence against her, in this case, her mentality will also change: because she loves, she does not give up divorce; because you do not want your children to grow up in divorced families, so she does not want to divorce; because you are too cold to her, she knows that it is impolite to continue to dwell on her. Eventually, she fulfilled your divorce request. Really after you divorced and formed a situation where you were living with your lover, your ex-wife finally understood the real reason for your divorce from her. At this time, she has the sense of being played as a monkey, and she has been angry enough to want to find your theory, but she has given restraint, because she feels that she is divorced, and it is not worth it to find scum like you to theorize. Therefore, she carried all the grievances and unwillingness. The reason why she was able to find a new boyfriend for herself later was not due to revenge on you, but her instinctive need for feelings after she completely stepped out of the shadow of divorce. So much so that when you ask her to remarry, she will tell you that you had better not appear in her life again in the future. Implication: Even your children, she doesn't want you to visit because you don't deserve your father's title; your ex-wife wants to distance herself from you completely.
Do you really blame your ex-wife for her love affair? No, after all, you pushed her away from you with your own hands. Think back to what you had to do with your ex-wife and lover: you were a selfish and self-righteous person. The arrogance you showed from your ex-wife was given back to you by your lover on behalf of your ex-wife. Your biggest regret must be that when you remarry your ex-wife, she did not wait for you in the same place, the key is that she can't wait for you in the same place.
Hopefully, in the future life, you can still meet your happiness, but that person is no longer your ex-wife and your children, and since this result is caused by your own hands, then in the future life, you will inevitably present the so-called unspoken. The adult world is like this: they regret some of their misdeeds after the fact, but they also have to bear the consequences for it.
Editor's Note:
Feelings arise between people because people give too much to someone. It means that valuing one's own efforts is also an important part of love. Many times, the reason why we don't have the courage to withdraw from a relationship is mostly because we can't bear to let our efforts be in vain. However, after really letting go, and after a few years, when you meet your ex again in a special situation, you will find that the person who almost killed himself is also very ordinary.
Divorce itself is not terrible, after all, whoever leaves in this world can live, more often, we face divorce because we will consider: reputation, children, family property, habits, feelings, pay and other factors. Therefore, in the post-cheating period, whether he chooses to forgive or choose divorce will be heartbroken. That being the case, why can't we simplify our lives and not find ourselves unhappy in our married life.
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)