Author: Hu Yang Yingyue
First, it is possible to accept "reunion" at any time, and it can also accept separation at any time
For two people who maintain a lover's relationship, because this relationship is not the particularity of a real couple, whether two people can stay together, how long they can stay together, when it is convenient, when it is inconvenient, whether the person they love can completely belong to themselves, and so on, are not questions that two people can decide.
Therefore, for two people who maintain a lover's relationship, it is necessary to be able to accept the pleasure of being together at any time, and also to be able to accept the endurance of being separated at any time. You can happily meet all the requirements of the person you love who belongs to you alone, and you can also gladly accept the reality that you are not alone. In this way, two people can keep this relationship able to develop in the long run, and two people can stay together comfortably.
Second, the treatment of feelings can be like glue, or it can be "waving your hand without taking away a cloud"
Feelings, to tell the truth, are very mysterious, invisible, untouchable, but they really determine our joys and sorrows. This is true for couples, and it is also true for lovers.
The feelings between lovers are often because they can be like glue, but they can't "wave their hands and not take away a cloud", and eventually they are unhappy and dispersed.
Whether it is a husband and wife, a lover or a lover, the feeling of this thing is not only an emotion, but also a fate, but also a cause and effect - when two people meet, when they fall in love, when they come together, when they are separated, they are all predestined in the dark. Therefore, two people who maintain a lover's relationship must learn to face it calmly: when they really love, give the best love to the person they love, and learn to face reality when they lose.
Third, the economy must not be entangled
Man is an animal that is selfish. Human selfishness is usually manifested in two ways. One, the desire to possess; second, the economic interests.
Since the lover relationship is an emotional resonance based on feelings, it is best not to get involved in financial benefits.
However, lovers have conflicts and eventually become the most familiar strangers or enemies, often really because of the problem of interests - you feel that you spend a lot of money when two people are in contact, and I think that the things I buy you consume too much... When two people have feelings, the economy is ranked second, but when the feelings of two people are broken, the economic loss becomes a mouse in the heart - spending money, not retaining people, is this not a double-funded? People who spend money are naturally unbalanced in their hearts, so they can't help but feel resentment in their hearts. The result of the resentment in the heart is that the feelings of the two people are broken, and they become the most familiar strangers or enemies.
Fourth, don't give this feeling a goal of how far to go
This relationship between lovers is destined to be an emotional expression mixed with sorrow and joy. The reason why two people are "happy" together is because in addition to a physical desire satisfaction, there is also an emotional resonance. The reason why two people are together is often because two people in this emotional relationship impose a "goal" on this feeling, and this goal is the year, month, and day that the feelings of the two people should go.
We often see two people who maintain a lover's relationship, together like a first-time lover, planning their own future: we want to be lovers for a lifetime...
This kind of planning, if you can realize the wish, is naturally the best thing. However, for the lover, this kind of planning has no practical significance except for giving himself a shackle, because it is two people who maintain the relationship between the lover, if they can make a relationship and their own marriage, why maintain this relationship, they have already come together as husband and wife.
However, this plan is not just a plan, once it cannot be realized, the two people will resent each other, think that the other party does not love themselves enough, and do not respect this feeling.
Fifth, do not interfere with each other's families
For two people who maintain a lover's relationship, the feelings become stronger and stronger as the length of time the two people interact extends. The stronger the feelings, the deeper the love. The deeper the love, the more selfish it becomes. When a person loves a person to a certain extent, it will become very selfish, and it will want to have this person completely, even if it is the current lover of the other party' legitimate card, it is impossible to touch his lover.
This is also the time that many lovers spend together, and the longer they go, the more emotional contradictions will arise, because the deeper they love, the more selfish they are, and the more they don't want others to touch the people they love.
However, whether we want to or not, the relationship between lovers is like this, no matter how much you love a person, you are not a legitimate lover, you have to accept the reality that the other party has a lover, you can not be truly selfish, let this person only belong to you.
Therefore, whenever this time comes, lovers who love deeply will want to enter each other's family and let each other get out of marriage and re-establish a family with themselves.
However, all lovers ignore the point, if the other party really loves you, if the two of you are really emotionally based, if the other party can get out of the marriage, it will have already walked out of the marriage, do you still need to bother? Because the two of you are emotionally based and genuinely in love, then the other person will definitely want to start a family with you, get married, and come together. The reason why the other party has not divorced and has not re-established a family with you is definitely because of the pain and difficulty that the other party cannot tell.
In this case, do you want to use the other party's marriage and family to want the other party to divorce, isn't it difficult for people to do so? Do not do to others what you do not want.
There is only one consequence of this, that is, you personally bury the other party with this feeling - the other party has to break up with you under the grievances of the stomach, and has to draw an end to this feeling.
In summary, between lovers, if you want to let this feeling go to the end, if you want two people to feel comfortable together, then you must remember these points: 1, can accept "reunion" at any time, you can also accept separation at any time; 2, the treatment of feelings can be like glue paint, you can also "wave your hand without taking away a cloud"; 3, the economy must not be entangled; 4, do not give this feeling a goal of how far to go; 5, do not intervene in each other's family.
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